McD...

Six months ago, I broke up with McD. (McD and I dated for over a year and broke up late April/early May)

Last night, I get a call from a friend/coworker telling me that McD got married.

Two weeks ago, I saw McD in the hall outside the cafeteria and he would not even acknowledge me...let alone say hello. WTF?

How am I feeling about this?

Both my friend and my sis, who I had to call and tell, asked me this... How do I feel about it? Good question.

I suppose initially I am shocked. Wow... Unreal...

After the initial shock, I thought... I hope he is happy. I hope he made a good choice. I hope that he didn't marry rebound girl. And then I thought: Rebound girl!!!

I also thought...maybe this is why I had been dreaming about him being with another woman and me watching in on him. Yuppers, in the last month I think I dreamt about him twice being with another woman and me looking on...

Today I find out that he was married in October, which means that he had only known this woman for what...four or five months... I just hope he knows what he's doing...especially since she has four kids and they live with them full-time.

I don't wish McD any ill will. I will say that I was completely floored to find out that he got married so soon.

I think I am floored becaus perhaps I am a little jealous of his happiness or what I perceive as his happiness. That he was able to find someone willing to commit themselves completely to him. Guess I wish that was me. NOT that I want to be married, but I do wish I felt as if I had someone I was happy with and able to grow old with... I don't want to grow old alone...that's one of my biggest fears.

I am happy for him. I guess I just feel sorry for myself and not entirely happy with the situation I've put myself in.

Sooner or later it will be my time... I know it. I just have to be patient.

In the meantime, I will rejoice in all the love and happiness the couples I know have together! :)

Here's to love and commitment!!!! :):):):)