Me.

I deserve the best.

I will not settle.

If I'm putting in 100% into a relationship, my partner better well be putting in 100%, too.

I have to keep telling myself these things. I have to because I do deserve the best and I deserve a man who is putting in as much as I am.

I may love Drew, but I do deserve to be treated with the utmost respect.

Tomorrow Drew is coming over to walk dogs with me as long as weather permits. And I think we may have drinks Friday evening vs passing out candy.

One of the two evenings I must talk with Drew about the match thing even though I believe that the outcome will not be what I want it to be... I have to know what is going on for my own mental well-being. I have to talk with him face-to-face and see it in his eyes what the truth is.

And if it's not what I want to hear, as I suspect, at least I will know what I am thinking is true. And I will have to prepare myself to move on. As much as I care for him, I deserve better. I deserve to be with someone who treats me with the dignity and respect that I treat them with and isn't looking over their shoulder or peering around the corner to see if something better is out there.

(Why is it that I always think the worst and expect the worst outcome... I believe this could be a topic for another entry.)

It's time to be brave.

It's time to think about what is best for me.

I want to be happy all the time. I don't want to be thinking what if...about anything. I've thought that too long about far too many things and it's time for it to be all about me in the here and now.

Yes, it's time.

It's time things were all about....

Me.



P.S. Give me the strength to go through with this because I'm scared shitless beyond belief!!!!