Ostrich

I am an ostrich.

I stick my head in the sand when I do not want to deal with something that is potentially negative or difficult to deal with.

I do not like to deal with conflict or negative emotions... Never have...

Long story short, I have not talked with Drew. I know I should. I kick myself for not bringing it up.

Drew emailed me from his match account and I emailed him back today, so the door is not completely closed on the subject. But if I wait too much longer it will be.

I spent years and years watching my family dance around negativity as if it wasn't there... Just ignoring it. Hoping it would go away. Learn by example? Possibly. But at least I know what my problem is. I just need to find ways to correct my behavior and implement them. Key there is the implementation. I seem to be getting stuck on that part.

I also think the part of me that loves Drew doesn't want to know.

And I haven't written about this because I feel like I let myself down...you know, the small part inside that actually does want to know.

I waver back and forth on wanting to know and not wanting to know. ::sigh:: It's quite the argument in my head. You should hear it...it's not pretty! ;P

So right now...my head is in the sand waiting for the bell to sound that all is clear...

...like an ostrich.