Longer Arms?

So it's been quite a day...

This a.m. was really rough. I cried. I was sad. I was wallowing in self pity about being alone.

I'm still not happy about the situation.

We were together for almost 10 months. I don't hate him. I don't wish him ill. I think he is a good person, just not the person for me...and the feeling was mutual. There was much said, but out of respect for him, I won't go into details. I will say that I was a bit put off by some of things that were said and I suppose what was said made me realize even more just how different we are and how differently we view relationships.

Sometimes I think I'm just better off being alone. That the heartache isn't worth it. That if I haven't found the one by now that I probably never will. That maybe my expectations are just too high.

All I want is someone to love me for who I am and for me to love them the same in return. For us to communicate and be best friends. For us to want each other and no one else. To be in sync (most of the time). To laugh and tease and cry... To feel like I'm loved and that I matter. Obviously, quality time is what's important to me.

I'm just not sure anymore.

I don't know.

I don't understand why it has to be so f'in hard.

Is it too much to ask to be happy with someone?

I just want to be happy...

...and this illusive happiness always seems to be just beyond my reach.

I'm beginning to think that maybe I need longer arms!