Greiving

Got up this morning and went running in 35* F weather. It actually wasn't that bad. I suppose it would have been better if I was running my normal speed. My entire body aches right now...knees, back... I ran with my girlfriend and she runs slower than I do. It's so hard on my body when I run slower...I know, doesn't make sense to me either...but oh well... The run is over an done with. It's time for taping now. No big runs until next Sunday - The Detroit Marathon is a mere 6 days and 11 hours away!!!! Cool, cool! I can't wait!! :) Now I just need to get into the chiropractor!

Paul texted me, this morning, while we were running asking if I was okay. Ummmm...NO/MAYBE, but I will be. I called him back (hate to text) told him I was alright...that I hadn't slit my wrists or anything. It was an okay conversation...it was nice talking with him. We talked for a while about nothing really... He asked if I needed a ride to the marathon. I'm just not ready to make any decisions about anything...I'm processing and I'm sad. I told him I would be in touch.

I need to grieve. Grieve what was. Grieve what could have been.

Now I'm just sitting here tonight and feeling really sorry for myself. Oh woe is Sue... All alone... I absolutely hate this. I miss him right now.

But I know there are far worse things in life that could be going on in my life. I have it pretty good actually. Good job. Nice house. Car. My health. Friends and family...

I think I may make some popcorn and have a nice glass of wine. I need to take my mind off things...so I can stop crying and leave the "pity party of one" behind me.

Maybe I'll watch this again....



Completely inspiring!

I know I'm a strong person. I just don't feel all that strong right now. I feel meek and helpless. It's very debilitating and I know I'm doing it to myself. I just can't help it right now.

I do know that I'll get through this...one way or another. Just like all the other hurdles I've passed over throughout the years.

I want to finish strong and be happy.

But for now I'm grieving...