I am in a funk. I am blah. I am lost. I have no idea why. I have so very many things going for me right now... I have my health, my family, my friends, my job, my condo, my car, my faith... There is no explanation for the funk. Maybe I'm expecting some great miracle or revelation given the season? I honestly don't know. It makes absolutely no sense. I don't really "want" anything. This funk I'm in...totally...makes...no...sense. So, here I am listening to a podcast by Craig Groeschel. It's resonating with me and I feel the need to share some things from it.
God's delays in responding for what we ask for/pray about are not God's denial of those things.
Because He hasn't answered your prayer now, doesn't mean that He will not answer it.
It could be a Divine Delay - it may not be now because He has to do something in us before he does something for us.
During the wait, God gives us patience, teaches us to call on Him, to press into Him, to walk by faith and not by sight, to trust Him anyway, that His ways are higher than ours....
Sometimes He has to do something in us before He does something through us. Divine Delay.
Sometimes He has to do something in us before He does something for us. Divine Delay.
If God always meets our expectations, then He would never have the opportunity to exceed them.
A waiting season is not a wasted season.
God works through situations we are in to be glorified by them.
The things we want aren't always as good as the things God has planned for us.
Our greatest disappointment may become the setting of God's greatest miracle for us which exceeds all of our expectations.
Check it out...it's totally worth the listen/watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAUE4PC0seM Sad to say, as good as it was, the podcast did nothing for my current state of being. I'm still in a funk. I still have no clue what's next. I still have no understanding of the place I am in. But... I truly know that God is with me. I truly trust in God to bring me through this.
I truly know that this season is not wasted. I truly know that God is busy doing some kind of work in me. I truly know that my waiting is going to be worth it.
Why celebrate Christmas? Many celebrate because it's a holiday. Many celebrate because that is what they have always done. Many celebrate to receive and give gifts. Christmas is much, much more than that. So much more. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. God’s son’s birth. God’s son is Jesus. Jesus was born of an immaculate conception. Jesus was born for a purpose. God sent his son, Jesus, to be born and die for us. Jesus was born sentenced to a horrific death. Jesus was born to die for the forgiveness of our sins. Jesus was born to die so that you and I could have eternal life. Jesus was born to die for us. To Die For Us…… Jesus was born of a virgin. Jesus was born in a manger. Jesus was born the son of a carpenter. Jesus was baptized by his cousin in the name of God his father. Jesus performed miracle after miracle. Jesus was doubted by both his disciples and people who witnessed his miracles.
Jesus knew we would disappoint both him and God, his father, time after time after time. Jesus died a horrific, long, suffering, publicly humiliating death… Jesus knew it all before it happened. Jesus lived it anyway. Jesus did it all for our eternal life. So, why celebrate Christmas? Christmas celebrates our savior. There is no other reason.
Each and every one of us wears many hats and masks every day...whether we realize it or not. We are, or at least we try to be, many things to many different people. We put on the hat of counselor, caretaker, dish washer, maid, driver, confidant... We sometimes find ourselves putting those hats on even when we don't want to. And we may even wear a mask from time to time. Perhaps we put on a happy face to mask our feelings of sadness, anger, surprise, astonishment, awe, love, embarrassment, fear, unworthiness, confusion, discouragement, frustration, etc… Don't you think... ...it's time to stop hiding. ...it's time to start living. ...it's time to free ourselves. ...it's time to #FindTheJoy. ...it's time to truly #BeHappy. I do.
There are times when I would give nothing to keep the past the way it was...and there are other times I would just wipe it all way. Today was one of those times. It's so ironic, confusing, frustrating to me. My past combined with the actions of the present makes me who I am today. Today my actions speak to who I am. Yesterday's actions are in the past, but they helped shape who I have become. I am who I am today. I am not who I was yesterday, a month ago, a year ago, etc... It's very frustrating for me because I interact with people in a cyclical nature at work. People who interact with me today may or may not interact with me again for a month, six months or a year. It's those who haven't interacted with me for x amount of time who interact with me now and have a preconceived notion of who I am or rather who I was. I'll just say it, I could be a down right kibble sometimes. And if things didn't go my way or I didn't think someone was doing what I believe to be right...oh brother...look out. Sue-magedon! The key thing there is the "I". It was all about me. WAS. Past tense. I know who I am. I know how much I have changed. I know who I live for today. But sometimes, something random happens. Sometimes, someone comes out of left field and makes a triple play to the core of my being which brings doubt, worry, discouragement, confusion as to whether or not I have made any progress at all. I know I have made huge strides to be who He wants and expects me to be. But then...WHAM! It's like a sucker punch to the gut. The wind gets knocked out of me. I sat there, today, staring and wondering...did that conversation really happen? Did that person really say that about me? How in the world could that be? Don't they see me for who I am today? And then I think that it could have happened because that is who I used to be. It hurts because I am trying to be the person I know God wants me to be. I know it shouldn't affect me like this. I know I should keep on walking my walk. I know this, but I sit here stalled. Confounded. Confused. Doubting. I want to whack myself in the head and say - "Get with it, Sue! Listen to what you tell everyone else! Can't you see that what "they" say doesn't matter?!?! Repeat after your own self these things... I am anointed. I am empowered. I am cherished. I am worthy. I am strong. I am courageous. I am forgiven. I am His." But, still, I find myself sitting here wondering...and then beating myself up because I know I shouldn't wonder. So crazy. .....long pause..... It's time to put on the armor and beat the crap out of the stupid chatterbox in my head. The chatterbox is going down. It's with His help that I will wield the sword that delivers the killing blow. My final thought for the night...Down with the chatterbox!
Keep it all in. So many of us seem to do that quite a bit these days. I know I'm guilty of it at times. I want hold on to everything going on with all my might. I don't want to give it up. I don't want to share the real truth. I want to keep all my fears and worries and burdens locked deep inside. I hold on to them with every bit of strength within me. I grasp on to them as if they are oxygen to my soul. And I build a wall up around myself to keep everything barricaded inside. But when I hold on to these things they become like an anchor. An anchor weighing down my heart. An anchor holding me in place. An anchor pulling me down deeper and deeper into the muck. They keep me stuck in the depths of despair / sadness / hurt / anger / fear / shame. It's like someone hit the pause button and I'm stuck standing there frozen in place. The longer I keep things in and the tighter I hold on, the worse things get. The lonelier I feel. The more shame and sorrow I experience. The more fear wells up inside of me. Have you ever felt that way? Not wanting to let go because you think you will... Be laughed at? Looked down upon? Made fun of? Become vulnerable? Have to rely on someone other than yourself? Open yourself up to possibly be hurt? I have. Too many times to count. But I've learned that is no way to live life. To truly be free and find peace, I've had to let everything go. I've had to share what is hurting my heart. I've had to share my deepest fears. And I've had to put it all out there and make myself completely and utterly vulnerable by sharing the real me. It's those times...the times that I freely give...that I am truly and honestly living. I mean, haven't you ever held something in for a long time? Then when you finally share whatever it is...it's like a weight is lifted off of your shoulders...and you experience a huge sense of relief. When we hold onto our hurts, worries, doubts, fears, we can't receive. When we put up walls, our minds and hearts are closed. When we are holding on, our arms and hands are clasped tightly shut.
To receive, we have to open up. Open our hearts to love. Open our minds to a new way of living. Open our arms to let others comfort us. Open our hands to receive what others have to offer us. I choose to open myself fully. I choose to do this daily. Yes, daily, because it's not easy. In fact, it's terribly difficult sometimes. Sometimes it's so difficult that I look to God for the strength and courage to do so. I have to open myself up fully so I can receive what God's son, Christ Jesus, fully opened himself up to give us. (John 3:16) Jesus opened his heart, opened his arms and opened his hands...so that you and I could have eternal life. What will it be? Keep everything closed up and stay rooted in the muck?
Or let it all go and open up to the promise of a bright and glorious future?
