Breaking

I'm sitting here on a Friday night...alone...and sad.

I don't want to be alone and my heart is breaking over and over again. Tears keep streaming down my face like an endless river going no where. Then the tears stop and I'm okay for a while. But then it starts back up again.

I don't like feeling like this. I don't like feeling sad and lonely and vunerable.

I want to call him...because I don't want to be alone...

But I won't...because I don't want to fall back into the same self destructing pattern.

For now, I'll just be alone and let my heart feel like it's breaking.

Added about an hour later: boy, I feel better...guess I just needed to get the bad stuff out...

Nevermind...breaking again... Bah! LOL!

Well, at least I can laugh about my yo-yo-ish breaking heart... Not really. :(