Gigi Moment

A couple weeks ago my sis, my friend Richard and I went and saw "he's just not that into you". I thought it was a great movie. Since then my sis and I have been having intermittent "Gigi Moments" and teasing each other about them. In the movie, Gigi is a girl who is constantly analyzing things guys do and say over and over again…watches the phone for calls/texts back, etc. All the freakish things us women do while trying to find a sign that a guy actually likes us, she does to the Nth degree. It was really quite hilarious - well, hilarious, but sadly true to some extent.

I had a "Gigi Moment" last night and did not sleep at all… I lay awake in bed and just listened to Paul breathe…

Why? Well…we had a long conversation about the last couple years of our lives and dating and how we happen to get to where we are today. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, Paul brings up the subject of marriage. No, no, not what you are thinking! He says that he can see himself getting married again, he misses having someone to come home to, but that given the emotional state of his daughter, he couldn't get married. He asked me what I thought about marriage. I told him that my greatest fear was being alone; that obviously I'm okay being alone, but I do want to be with someone. That if I couldn't be married then I wanted to be in a committed relationship.

Paul said other things to me like… "I knew after our third date that we were a couple." "You're a keeper." "You're really great with kids." "I'm able to be me when I'm with you." (or something to that affect)

When he made the comment about the third date, I told him about my conversations with Richard and my sis about whether or not I should ask him (Paul) to take his profile off of match after our third date. They told me it was too soon, but after all the crap I'd been through with Drew… So I told Paul that I went to turn mine off anyway and saw that he had taken his down. I told him he didn't know how much that meant to me… I told him I was like "woohoo" and made these silly arm movements. I looked up at him all smiles and he was smiling back. :)

So why was I up all night? I had a Gigi freak out - his comment about no marriage right now just threw me for a loop and that's all I could focus on. I've said so many times over the past couple years that I don't want to get married again…but that really isn't true. I think I just hadn't met the person whom I wanted to be married to. I can honestly see myself with Paul down the road. I can see us spending time with his kids, time with my daughter, doing things together and just being happy. And I am falling, if I haven't already, in love with him. So the no marriage thing just resonated in my head, playing over and over and over again. All I could think was that this was something that I wanted and that it may not happen in the way I've been imaging it or ever.

OMG! I just went back to add the snippet about the third date and match profile and realized that we both felt the same way after our third date. That we both knew that we wanted to be with the other person. Wow… Okay, my heart is smiling.

I still think I have to say something to Paul. I let too many things go unsaid with Drew and it ate me up inside. I don't want the same thing to happen again.

Just typing all this out has made me feel better. And it's made me realize that perhaps Paul and I are on the same page. That maybe he brought up the marriage comment because he was thinking about it and wanted me to know where he stood on the topic? I don't know…there I go over analyzing again.

I do know that I have to stop analyzing and over analyzing and stop having these silly little "Gigi Moments".