Imperfect Perfection

It's been a very interesting vacation.  Very interesting to say the least.  I've discovered and have been reminded of some things about myself.  Not only through introspection, but from listening to other's viewpoints of me as well.

I've been reminded that I'm extroverted (for those who really know me, you know this is somewhat of a mystery to me), that I'm interesting, adventurous, independent, cool, look younger than my years and that I'm brave.  

I can't tell you the number of strange looks I've gotten when I arrived to my breakfast, lunch or dinner reservations.  It's been mostly looks of surprise...of wonder...of confusion...when I say party of one.  A hostesses actually asked me why I would be travelling alone.  She was completely bewildered and could not understand it.  I couldn't understand why she couldn't understand.  It was a pretty funny conversation - she not understanding and me trying to convince her that she should try it.

I actually enjoy my alone time.  I recharge.  I wind down.  I do what I want...when I want.  And if I decide I don't want to do what I have planned...I don't.

There have been moments...very fleeting moments when I wish I had some companionship...but just as quickly as they came...poof...they were gone.

On top of all that, I get to meet some very interesting people.  Again, if I want to.  I met a marvelous couple from Rhode Island and some really nice folks from Georgia and Illinois.

...anyway...I digress...

There have also been some revelations...

I've know for a very, very, very, very long time that I'm broken.   That  I'm damaged.  That I'm no where near qualified to be doing what I am doing...

And guess what?

I no longer care.

Well, okay, I suppose I care a little bit.  But not nearly as much as I used to.

You see, during some of my reading, I was reminded that all the great biblical heroes were also unqualified.  Moses was a murderer.  Jacob was a liar, a betrayer and sort of a thief (stealing his brother's blessing and birthright).  Gideon was a coward - hiding in a wine press...who the heck does that?  Even David did some pretty unsavory stuff...  And look at James...it's thought that he didn't believe his half-brother was God until after He died and rose from the dead.

Yup, I think I'm in some pretty good company.  In fact, we all are.  All of us who are broken and beaten.  All of us who feel unworthy and down trodden.  All of us who have been through the wringer and around the block a time or two or ten.

Whether we realize it or not, it's through our weaknesses that we are able to relate with one another.  And it's through our trials and tribulations that we actually find common ground with one another.

We don't have to be perfect.  If we look at God's track record in choosing those He works through...that becomes very obvious.  God doesn’t work in and through perfect people; it's actually quite the opposite.  I’m coming to realize that it's through our imperfections that we become perfect.  I'm not sure if that makes sense...but...even though we aren't perfect we are perfect in God's eyes.

It's through God's eyes that we must begin to see ourselves so that we can truly live the life we are intended to live.

It's through His eyes that we must see ourselves.

And I know, without a doubt, that it is truly because of Him that we are able to do all things and then some.