Getting Rid of the Gunk

I’m spending the week pet sitting for my sister.  I'm actually staying at her house.  

Disclaimer for some of the info below:  I don't mind doing this and I'm extremely happy that I am able to help her out.  I would do anything for my sis.  

Any who, since I'm not at home, I've been a little out of my element and not doing the things I normally do.  

This morning while Yukon, her dog, and I were out walking, I started evaluating the past 96 hours and came to a few realizations.  Well, maybe not realizations, but confirmations of things I've thought about before.

For one, I love, love, love condo life.  I do not miss having a house and all the upkeep that goes with it.  Who wants to water hanging baskets and pots every night?  Not me.  Who wants to cut the lawn and make sure it’s edged and weed free?  Not me.  This may be the life for some...but it's not for me, I love my condo.

Another thing is that although I occasionally have thoughts about having another dog, pet sitting cures me of this want. Not that I don’t love my furphew, because I do…even though I may call him Satan and Stink Bomb, I love him.  Feeding in the morning.  Walking.  Picking up poop.  Hair everywhere.  Letting him out to do his business.  Letting him in from doing his business.  Feeding at night.  More pooping.  It’s a lot of work and takes a good amount of time.  I’m happy in my pet free condo.  I did mention I love my condo, right?

The other thing is TV and how our viewing choices impacts me.  I am so over it.  I do not have cable at home.  I sheepishly admit that I have been watching the Lifetime Movie Network and I must say…I have allowed it to warp my thinking.  And it happened so quickly.  Within a few nights.  It’s crazy.  And I didn’t even realize it was happening.  Until this morning that is.

Last night, I was sitting there watching some movie which I can’t even recall the name of and before I knew it I was thinking about the past (Ugh!!!!!!  WHY???) and balling my eyes out.  I started thinking my life was a little out of whack.  Thinking that maybe I needed something else to complete myself.  WTHeck is that all about?  I mean, seriously, WTHeck?

It’s no wonder us women have such high expectations and want the perfect life.  The perfect life according to mass media that is.  So many of these movies’ messages is that if you don’t have a man, something is wrong with you.  That if you don’t have the perfect life, according to mass media and the cultural norm, that you should actively pursue it.  

Crazy.

I love my life.  I do not need a man to make me feel complete.  I don’t need things to make me happy.  I don’t need to conform to what the world thinks my life should be life to be content.

I have peace.  I have joy.  I have contentment.  

Looks like I am going to have to peel back this new layer of gunk.  And good thing it's just a thin layer.  I am going to stop being complacent about things because I am out of my element.  I am going to get back to being intentional in all I do.  

The things we surround ourselves with, the things we listen to, the things we indulge, yes indulge, in (like binging on Lifetime Movies)…they all impact us...er, um I mean me.  They impact our thoughts and our actions.  And if we are not careful…if we are not intentional…we can allow those things to take us down a slippery slope which leads to nothing good.  Or rather, "No Good", as my gramps used to say.

Needless to say, there will be no more Lifetime Movie Network in this girl’s future.

So, I’m peeling it off.  I’m owning my choices.  I’m acknowledging that I need to refrain.  I don't like the slippery, gunked up slope of the cultural norm.  I am moving back to being consistent and intentional because not conforming requires 24/7 intentionality.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Imperfect Perfection

It's been a very interesting vacation.  Very interesting to say the least.  I've discovered and have been reminded of some things about myself.  Not only through introspection, but from listening to other's viewpoints of me as well.

I've been reminded that I'm extroverted (for those who really know me, you know this is somewhat of a mystery to me), that I'm interesting, adventurous, independent, cool, look younger than my years and that I'm brave.  

I can't tell you the number of strange looks I've gotten when I arrived to my breakfast, lunch or dinner reservations.  It's been mostly looks of surprise...of wonder...of confusion...when I say party of one.  A hostesses actually asked me why I would be travelling alone.  She was completely bewildered and could not understand it.  I couldn't understand why she couldn't understand.  It was a pretty funny conversation - she not understanding and me trying to convince her that she should try it.

I actually enjoy my alone time.  I recharge.  I wind down.  I do what I want...when I want.  And if I decide I don't want to do what I have planned...I don't.

There have been moments...very fleeting moments when I wish I had some companionship...but just as quickly as they came...poof...they were gone.

On top of all that, I get to meet some very interesting people.  Again, if I want to.  I met a marvelous couple from Rhode Island and some really nice folks from Georgia and Illinois.

...anyway...I digress...

There have also been some revelations...

I've know for a very, very, very, very long time that I'm broken.   That  I'm damaged.  That I'm no where near qualified to be doing what I am doing...

And guess what?

I no longer care.

Well, okay, I suppose I care a little bit.  But not nearly as much as I used to.

You see, during some of my reading, I was reminded that all the great biblical heroes were also unqualified.  Moses was a murderer.  Jacob was a liar, a betrayer and sort of a thief (stealing his brother's blessing and birthright).  Gideon was a coward - hiding in a wine press...who the heck does that?  Even David did some pretty unsavory stuff...  And look at James...it's thought that he didn't believe his half-brother was God until after He died and rose from the dead.

Yup, I think I'm in some pretty good company.  In fact, we all are.  All of us who are broken and beaten.  All of us who feel unworthy and down trodden.  All of us who have been through the wringer and around the block a time or two or ten.

Whether we realize it or not, it's through our weaknesses that we are able to relate with one another.  And it's through our trials and tribulations that we actually find common ground with one another.

We don't have to be perfect.  If we look at God's track record in choosing those He works through...that becomes very obvious.  God doesn’t work in and through perfect people; it's actually quite the opposite.  I’m coming to realize that it's through our imperfections that we become perfect.  I'm not sure if that makes sense...but...even though we aren't perfect we are perfect in God's eyes.

It's through God's eyes that we must begin to see ourselves so that we can truly live the life we are intended to live.

It's through His eyes that we must see ourselves.

And I know, without a doubt, that it is truly because of Him that we are able to do all things and then some.