Into the first two chapters of Genesis, God created everything and then on the sixth day he created man in his image. And because he wasn’t quite finished…as a grand finale, God created woman.
Genesis 2:21-22 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
1 Corinthians 11:7 … woman is the glory of man.
Think about it….I mean, let’s stop and think about it. The world was not complete without woman.
The world was not complete without us.
We – You and Me – all of us women – we are the glorious finishing touch of the creation of the world!
The world wasn’t right without us. We are needed. We are required. We are wanted.
Not only are we, women, the finishing touch, we are created in God’s image. We are his feminine image.
Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
So what does all of this tell us about God?
God longs for romance.
God longs to share life with us.
God has a beauty to unveil.
God is relational.
How many of us define ourselves by our relationships and what’s going on with them?
I’m a mom. I’m a sister. I’m a daughter. I’m a business woman.
What if my sister is mad at me? What if my daughter isn’t talking to me. What if I screwed up royally at work?
What is the definition of ourselves then?
And how many of us believe this relational definition of ourselves is a weakness?
I used to.
Until I realized that my being relational is a direct reflection of God being relational.
We are made in God’s image. We want relationships. God wants a relationship with us.
Think about it. God must be truly hurt/sad/lonely when we are not working on our relationship with him. He must truly care about us. He must really and truly love us. We must have really and truly captivated his heart. And if there is any doubt that God longs for your love, just flip open your bible and look to the greatest commandment.
Matthew 22:36-38 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.
He could have commanded us to do ANYTHING, yet he replied with love me. And not just love me. But love me with all your soul and all your mind. I mean WOW. He’s practically begging us to love him!
That’s like us when someone we love is the center of our world. We long for them. We want to be with them all the time. We want to play a intricate part in their life. We want to be their priority just like they are our priority.
Again, what does this mean? God is vulnerable. God is jealous. God has yearnings and desires. …just…like…us… He longs to be desired just like us. And we know this to be true because we are made in his image!
So after God commanded us to love him, the next verses in Matthew takes the love relationship a little further.
Matthew 22:39-40 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
It’s also reinforced in John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
Throughout the bible we hear how important love is. Romans 13:10 tells us that love is the fulfillment of the law.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Describes what love is… Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Romans 12 talks about how love looks when put it into action.
Romans 12:9-11 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
Romans 12:17-18 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
It’s so important to love one another because if we aren't, we are sinning. We are disobeying God’s commands which results in sin. Sin separates us from God. We can’t be close to God if we are sinning. In fact, the bible actually tells us that sinning actually equals death.
Proverbs 10:16 The wages of the righteous is life, but the earnings of the wicked are sin and death.
Romans 6:23 The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Proverbs 6:20-23 My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them always on your heart; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life,
Sin is death. Sin kills life. Whenever we sin we are killing something in our lives. Sins like lying, cheating and betrayal can kill a relationship between two people. Sin destroys trust. Sin brings death to those who partake in it.
So if we aren’t loving God and everyone, we need to repent – change our ways – and turn from sin back to the Lord. And when we turn back to the Lord, where is he? Is he a mile down the road and we have to run back to find him? Nope. He’s standing right there…nose to nose with us. He forgives us and rejoices in our love for him.
Pretty powerful when you think about it. Love is everything. Love actually allows us to see the beauty in things. Without love, everything is dark, dreary, hopeless.
God’s image is one of beauty. Everything about him is beautiful. Not just outward beauty but more importantly inward beauty. God gave Eve both a beautiful appearance and a beautiful spirit…so he has given it to us. Again, we are made in his image…his image of beauty.
Beauty. Beauty is so many things to us.
Beauty speaks to us. It says all should be well. It says all is okay. That all is good.
Beauty invites us in. It says, come sit with me and relax for a while. Flickering fire, beach, driving down a country road, sunset, good book, sound of a babbling brook…these things invite us in and ask us to stay a while.
Beauty comforts…it’s healing soothes the soul.
Beauty inspires us to a higher calling and asks us to become better.
Beauty takes things to a higher level.
Beauty is the most essential and misunderstood quality’s of God…and therefore the most misunderstood of our feminine qualities as well. I’m not sure about all of you, but I have more often than not wound myself up into a tizzy over beauty. I mean, who doesn’t long to be beautiful and desired. We all struggle…society places such unrealistic expectations on us…and we struggle to achieve.
We want to be pursued and sought after. We want to be known. Giving to others part of our souls takes time. We just can’t let anyone know and have all of us right out of the shoot. It’s a slow process. It’s an unveiling of our beauty.
In short...
We are the crown of creation. The finishing touch.
Without love, we aren’t able to see the beauty in God, others or in ourselves.
God longs for a relationship with us, he longs to comfort and protect us, he longs to get to know us, he longs to be our number one priority…
We bear the image of God…so we long for all of those things, too.
What we may once had thought to be weaknesses are actually glorified through God and should be rejoiced in.
Musings on Chapter 2 of Captivating by Stasi and John Eldredge
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Love Life
How many people can honestly say they love their life?
My guess is not many.
It's taken me 48 years, but I can honestly say I love my life.
It's not a perfect life. It's not always a happy life. But I have and continue to find peace with who I am and where I am going.
I stumble. I fall. I get up and I do it again.
I can do it because I choose love.
God is love.
1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
I choose God.
If you're lost...look to God.
I know...
I love God and I love my life.
My guess is not many.
It's taken me 48 years, but I can honestly say I love my life.
It's not a perfect life. It's not always a happy life. But I have and continue to find peace with who I am and where I am going.
I stumble. I fall. I get up and I do it again.
I can do it because I choose love.
God is love.
1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
I choose God.
If you're lost...look to God.
I know...
I love God and I love my life.
Proverbs 3:17
Mrrr!! Mrrr!! Mrrr!! This morning I woke up and as like everyday, pulled the covers over my head and wished I didn't have to get out of bed at the sound of an alarm. I hit the snooze and dazed off and on with my mind on a hundred different things.
After the second snooze, I began my morning thanks and prayers. I don't let my feet hit the carpet of my bedroom floor before I thank God for everything I have and pray for others. The last two mornings I've been praying for my needs which is unusual. I normally don't ask our Lord for anything.
Today I asked for guidance. I needed direction and words to speak at a group tomorrow. I had stayed late at work yesterday trying to find the words on what I thought I wanted to talk about. I did this without any success and truly struggled to come up with something to say about what I thought I should be talking about. So, this morning I prayed for direction.
My morning bible reading sparked a new train of thought! The Lord provided inspiration and off I went. I was happily clacking away on my iPad only to look at the time and realize I was super late. Ruh Roh! So it was off to the shower and then my daily skin care routine. I sometimes like to listen to my Jesus music while I get ready and my inspiration was only reinforced by the first song that played. Needless to say I was thanking our Lord again!
I have to admit that when I used to hear people thanking God for anything...I used to roll my eyes. Now I honestly believe God is the reason things work out. It's through him that we are able to do all things. God truly IS great!!! Needless to say, there wasn't anything that was going to ruin my God inspired good mood.
I left work early for a dental appointment and my mood only escalated as I was leaving the dentist office. You see, my hygienist and I were laughing as she was walking me out. I've been going there for about 30 years, so I really enjoy catching up with her. I don't recall exactly what we were talking about, but I told her that I was truly happy. She looked at me and told me that she could tell. I must have looked puzzled as I asked her "Really?". She told me that I looked at peace. I told her that I finally am at peace for the first time in my life. We hugged. :)
I almost cried on the way to my car. Peace. I was so elated to hear that it was THAT evident. That someone could see there was a difference in me. That I wasn't crazy thinking I had changed so much. Someone confirmed what I knew was true. How awesome. How comforting. My life verse had been verified.
Sometime last year, I participated in a book study. We were challenged to find a life verse. I am so blessed to say that mine was something I strived for my entire life and can now say is true. And I know that it is only through the relationship that I have with our Lord which makes it possible.
He ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. Proverbs 3:17 NIV
After the second snooze, I began my morning thanks and prayers. I don't let my feet hit the carpet of my bedroom floor before I thank God for everything I have and pray for others. The last two mornings I've been praying for my needs which is unusual. I normally don't ask our Lord for anything.
Today I asked for guidance. I needed direction and words to speak at a group tomorrow. I had stayed late at work yesterday trying to find the words on what I thought I wanted to talk about. I did this without any success and truly struggled to come up with something to say about what I thought I should be talking about. So, this morning I prayed for direction.
My morning bible reading sparked a new train of thought! The Lord provided inspiration and off I went. I was happily clacking away on my iPad only to look at the time and realize I was super late. Ruh Roh! So it was off to the shower and then my daily skin care routine. I sometimes like to listen to my Jesus music while I get ready and my inspiration was only reinforced by the first song that played. Needless to say I was thanking our Lord again!
I have to admit that when I used to hear people thanking God for anything...I used to roll my eyes. Now I honestly believe God is the reason things work out. It's through him that we are able to do all things. God truly IS great!!! Needless to say, there wasn't anything that was going to ruin my God inspired good mood.
I left work early for a dental appointment and my mood only escalated as I was leaving the dentist office. You see, my hygienist and I were laughing as she was walking me out. I've been going there for about 30 years, so I really enjoy catching up with her. I don't recall exactly what we were talking about, but I told her that I was truly happy. She looked at me and told me that she could tell. I must have looked puzzled as I asked her "Really?". She told me that I looked at peace. I told her that I finally am at peace for the first time in my life. We hugged. :)
I almost cried on the way to my car. Peace. I was so elated to hear that it was THAT evident. That someone could see there was a difference in me. That I wasn't crazy thinking I had changed so much. Someone confirmed what I knew was true. How awesome. How comforting. My life verse had been verified.
Sometime last year, I participated in a book study. We were challenged to find a life verse. I am so blessed to say that mine was something I strived for my entire life and can now say is true. And I know that it is only through the relationship that I have with our Lord which makes it possible.
He ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. Proverbs 3:17 NIV
Friday, August 21, 2015
Invitation Accepted
One by one women began arriving. Excited. Nervous. Smiling. Pensive. One by one they took their seats. Soon the auditorium was filled with the women participating in a book study I was leading with the campus minister’s wife. The book…Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by Stasi and John Eldredge.
We had speakers lined up for each session and I was slated to speak at our first session. Me. Speaking in front of a good percentage of the women who attended service at our campus on a regular basis. About my life. Talk about nervous!
And so I started by sharing some small group basics and how the study began…
...here is my story...
Well, I was leading a small group here at the campus this spring. For one of the meetings, a woman and I were the group…that’s right, just the two of us. That particular session was on the subject of perfectionism. She and I hadn’t really shared too much about ourselves before we got started…let’s just say that by the end of a couple hours we definitely connected with one another and we each knew we had made a new friend.
After Scars series ended, we wanted to continue our friendship…I suggested we read the book Captivating. A mentor recommended it to me about a year ago, it was just sitting on my desk gathering dust and she had the book on her shelf as well. We both fell in love with the book. Ah ha moments and revelations about ourselves filled the next several weeks. And although neither of us initially would have thought we had anything in common…we couldn’t have been more wrong.
Little did we know that beginning our study would lead to begin not only healing our hearts..but that it would touch so very many other women’s lives as well.
Look around the room. All women. All unique. Do we really know what’s going on under the surface? As women, we do our best to look totally put together on the surface…but I’m guessing it may not be completely true if we take a deeper look into our hearts and souls.
Take me for example. There are times I look in the mirror and am not happy. There are times I’m ashamed of the woman I see staring back at me. The life I’ve led up until a couple years ago was not the life I thought I would have.
I was raised catholic. My parent’s divorced when I was getting ready to enter sixth grade. I remember going to work with my gramma at Tiger Stadium and getting home to a house less my dad. He was there. And then he wasn’t. It was like he abandon us. Like he abandoned me.
So it began…I was broken…
I tried filling the hole in my heart with all kinds of things. Mostly looking to boys and men to affirm my sense of self, to fill the void, to fix my broken heart. The more I looked to men, the worse I felt about myself. The more shame I experienced...
I would give myself, well, my physical self anyway, and then there I would be at the end of yet another failed relationship and I would be alone again. But I wasn’t going to fail…I would succeed…my way.
I’d just try harder. Be better. Be more of what I wasn’t and less of what I was. I could do this. I was sure of it.
I actually married someone because I was too afraid to disappoint my family. Disappoint them again. I knew it wasn’t right and I did it anyway. Instead of dealing with it, what did I do? Turned to the arms of another man. Smart right? Nothing shameful about that, right? What happened…I wound up pregnant. (I have to mention that my daughter is truly a blessing!)
But that relationship didn’t last either. So it was another failure…more shame…more regret…
I longed for someone to pay attention me. To focus on me. To seek me. I wanted to be someones number one priority. I wanted to matter.
I met a man who became my second husband. I thought I would be married to him forever. Because I had my tubes tied after I had my daughter, we turned to fertility treatments to have a child of our own. Five rounds of IVF (invitro fertilization), $50000 later…and there we were sitting in the church parking lot hearing the voicemail that said our last attempt was a Big Fat No. I was broken again. I had failed as a woman. I shut down. So what did I do? I slammed the door shut in God’s face. How could He let this happen? I was angry and bitter and depressed. Like I said, I shut down and, well, my husband drank. I gave him the option to choose the bottle or me…he chose the bottle. I left to protect my daughter – I didn’t want to lose her, too.
Too easy, too hard, too whatever…and no matter the reason, because I left, it was my fault…. So the cycle continued with me never being good enough and continually filled with despair, regret and shame…and to only try harder the next time.
I can remember a conversation with one of my last boyfriends. I was running down Hines Drive and he was rollerblading. This was during my fanatical running phase – oh yea…if I didn’t have a man to freak out over, I’d pour my heart into something else. Anyway, I can recall listing things out to this guy that were more important than me. He told me I was right. What did I do? Turn and run for the hills? Nope. I TRIED HARDER! Tried harder to move up on his list of priorities. Needless to say….I failed again.
Which takes us to my last boyfriend. Talk about going overboard…I just knew he was the one. So I had an estate sale and I sold everything…everything…down to the spices in my kitchen cabinet to be with this guy. I re-homed my dogs. I short saled my house. I did what the disciples did…dropped it all and followed along…and this guy wasn’t even God. At first it was awesome… But then reality set in. He was broken, too, and wouldn’t or couldn’t put my needs as a priority, but I could do it, I could fix it. Broken ole me…I was going to make it work if it killed me. I mean, how could I not try? I gave up everything. How could I face people if I didn’t make it work? Well, things spiraled out of control...and ended with both of us acting equally horrible in different ways.
I was lost. I was without a home. I was alone without any place to go. And I had nothing to put in a place even if I had one. I wound up coming back to the town I had always vowed I would never come back to. I cried every night for over two years. I’m not exaggerating. I cried every single night.
But life had to continue, so I started over from scratch. In fact, just about everything I have today has been acquired in the last three or four years…everything including my faith in God.
But life had to continue, so I started over from scratch. In fact, just about everything I have today has been acquired in the last three or four years…everything including my faith in God.
How did my faith burst into being? Mary Kay. I’m guessing you’re thinking – Mary Kay? Seriously? Really? Makeup? And my response is – Yes, that’s right.
You see, my daughter got pregnant. Dropped out of college and moved in with her fast food working boyfriend. I freaked. I had to be able to help her and my regular full-time job wasn’t going to cut it.. So, I started selling Mary Kay.
Did you know that Mary Kay’s philosophy is God first, family second and career third? Neither did I. Event after event, God was slipping into my life. Before even looking for a church, I joined a bible study on Gideon led by a Mary Kay Director. And after a hearing a pastor speak at event, I knew it was time to find a church.
So, what finally stopped the cycle of looking to men to fill the hole in my heart? God. I had finally opened myself to God. Instead of slamming the door shut in God’s face, I had, finally FINALLY accepted his invitation to begin a relationship with Him. A real honest to goodness relationship with Him.
My way of life had always centered around me…it was all about doing what I wanted when I wanted to make myself feel better. Instead of feeling better, all I was doing was diving deeper and deeper into sin and further and further away from God. I finally began to find peace when I shifted my focus from myself to God.
I had always felt unseen, unsought and uncertain…aware of my failings…filled with shame and despair…always telling myself to try harder.
It was only when I began guarding my heart that I began to heal. Our hearts are a direct reflection of our souls and the core of our being. It’s from our hearts which everything flows.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
I was becoming cognizant, I mean really biblically cognizant, of right and wrong. I began choosing to be happy and looking at the positive side of things. I chose to go back to some of those I wronged and apologized. I started walking the walk…which meant I was beginning to guard my heart.
Our hearts…our precious hearts… Within our hearts live our desires. Our hearts are a direct reflection of God, therefore, our desires are a direct reflection of God.. Unfortunately, for many of us, our desires are often buried in shame or embarrassment…but they are still there, under the surface, waiting and longing to be fulfilled.
Stasi and John Eldredge believe that women’s desires fall into three categories:
I know I’m far from perfect. I know I’ve made mistakes. But all of that is the past. The past is the road which led me to where I am today. I am thankful and happy to say that I now know that I am loved and forgiven by the only one who truly matters. God. God loves me and forgives me…daily….even though I have failed him and fail him daily. He loved me before I was born. He loves me regardless of what I’ve done and what I do. God loves me.
And God loves you. Yes YOU. He loves YOU. He wants a relationship with YOU. He invites YOU. He longs for YOU. He knows YOU. He forgives YOU. He desires YOU.
It’s not about where we’ve been…but where we KNOW we are going.
It’s about HIM. For HIM. Because of HIM.
God purposefully chooses the weak and despised for spreading His word because He gains the most glory when doing so. And God knows fully well how weak and despised I’ve been…and perhaps that is why I share my story with you. So that you know that you are not alone. So that you know you have a sister in Christ who has walked a walk similar to yours. So that you know you are pursued and desired by Him. And so you know that He loves you no matter what.
1 Corinthians 1:26-31 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”
We had speakers lined up for each session and I was slated to speak at our first session. Me. Speaking in front of a good percentage of the women who attended service at our campus on a regular basis. About my life. Talk about nervous!
And so I started by sharing some small group basics and how the study began…
...here is my story...
Well, I was leading a small group here at the campus this spring. For one of the meetings, a woman and I were the group…that’s right, just the two of us. That particular session was on the subject of perfectionism. She and I hadn’t really shared too much about ourselves before we got started…let’s just say that by the end of a couple hours we definitely connected with one another and we each knew we had made a new friend.
After Scars series ended, we wanted to continue our friendship…I suggested we read the book Captivating. A mentor recommended it to me about a year ago, it was just sitting on my desk gathering dust and she had the book on her shelf as well. We both fell in love with the book. Ah ha moments and revelations about ourselves filled the next several weeks. And although neither of us initially would have thought we had anything in common…we couldn’t have been more wrong.
Little did we know that beginning our study would lead to begin not only healing our hearts..but that it would touch so very many other women’s lives as well.
Look around the room. All women. All unique. Do we really know what’s going on under the surface? As women, we do our best to look totally put together on the surface…but I’m guessing it may not be completely true if we take a deeper look into our hearts and souls.
Take me for example. There are times I look in the mirror and am not happy. There are times I’m ashamed of the woman I see staring back at me. The life I’ve led up until a couple years ago was not the life I thought I would have.
I was raised catholic. My parent’s divorced when I was getting ready to enter sixth grade. I remember going to work with my gramma at Tiger Stadium and getting home to a house less my dad. He was there. And then he wasn’t. It was like he abandon us. Like he abandoned me.
So it began…I was broken…
I tried filling the hole in my heart with all kinds of things. Mostly looking to boys and men to affirm my sense of self, to fill the void, to fix my broken heart. The more I looked to men, the worse I felt about myself. The more shame I experienced...
I would give myself, well, my physical self anyway, and then there I would be at the end of yet another failed relationship and I would be alone again. But I wasn’t going to fail…I would succeed…my way.
I’d just try harder. Be better. Be more of what I wasn’t and less of what I was. I could do this. I was sure of it.
I actually married someone because I was too afraid to disappoint my family. Disappoint them again. I knew it wasn’t right and I did it anyway. Instead of dealing with it, what did I do? Turned to the arms of another man. Smart right? Nothing shameful about that, right? What happened…I wound up pregnant. (I have to mention that my daughter is truly a blessing!)
But that relationship didn’t last either. So it was another failure…more shame…more regret…
I longed for someone to pay attention me. To focus on me. To seek me. I wanted to be someones number one priority. I wanted to matter.
I met a man who became my second husband. I thought I would be married to him forever. Because I had my tubes tied after I had my daughter, we turned to fertility treatments to have a child of our own. Five rounds of IVF (invitro fertilization), $50000 later…and there we were sitting in the church parking lot hearing the voicemail that said our last attempt was a Big Fat No. I was broken again. I had failed as a woman. I shut down. So what did I do? I slammed the door shut in God’s face. How could He let this happen? I was angry and bitter and depressed. Like I said, I shut down and, well, my husband drank. I gave him the option to choose the bottle or me…he chose the bottle. I left to protect my daughter – I didn’t want to lose her, too.
Too easy, too hard, too whatever…and no matter the reason, because I left, it was my fault…. So the cycle continued with me never being good enough and continually filled with despair, regret and shame…and to only try harder the next time.
I can remember a conversation with one of my last boyfriends. I was running down Hines Drive and he was rollerblading. This was during my fanatical running phase – oh yea…if I didn’t have a man to freak out over, I’d pour my heart into something else. Anyway, I can recall listing things out to this guy that were more important than me. He told me I was right. What did I do? Turn and run for the hills? Nope. I TRIED HARDER! Tried harder to move up on his list of priorities. Needless to say….I failed again.
Which takes us to my last boyfriend. Talk about going overboard…I just knew he was the one. So I had an estate sale and I sold everything…everything…down to the spices in my kitchen cabinet to be with this guy. I re-homed my dogs. I short saled my house. I did what the disciples did…dropped it all and followed along…and this guy wasn’t even God. At first it was awesome… But then reality set in. He was broken, too, and wouldn’t or couldn’t put my needs as a priority, but I could do it, I could fix it. Broken ole me…I was going to make it work if it killed me. I mean, how could I not try? I gave up everything. How could I face people if I didn’t make it work? Well, things spiraled out of control...and ended with both of us acting equally horrible in different ways.
I was lost. I was without a home. I was alone without any place to go. And I had nothing to put in a place even if I had one. I wound up coming back to the town I had always vowed I would never come back to. I cried every night for over two years. I’m not exaggerating. I cried every single night.
But life had to continue, so I started over from scratch. In fact, just about everything I have today has been acquired in the last three or four years…everything including my faith in God.
But life had to continue, so I started over from scratch. In fact, just about everything I have today has been acquired in the last three or four years…everything including my faith in God.
How did my faith burst into being? Mary Kay. I’m guessing you’re thinking – Mary Kay? Seriously? Really? Makeup? And my response is – Yes, that’s right.
You see, my daughter got pregnant. Dropped out of college and moved in with her fast food working boyfriend. I freaked. I had to be able to help her and my regular full-time job wasn’t going to cut it.. So, I started selling Mary Kay.
Did you know that Mary Kay’s philosophy is God first, family second and career third? Neither did I. Event after event, God was slipping into my life. Before even looking for a church, I joined a bible study on Gideon led by a Mary Kay Director. And after a hearing a pastor speak at event, I knew it was time to find a church.
So, what finally stopped the cycle of looking to men to fill the hole in my heart? God. I had finally opened myself to God. Instead of slamming the door shut in God’s face, I had, finally FINALLY accepted his invitation to begin a relationship with Him. A real honest to goodness relationship with Him.
My way of life had always centered around me…it was all about doing what I wanted when I wanted to make myself feel better. Instead of feeling better, all I was doing was diving deeper and deeper into sin and further and further away from God. I finally began to find peace when I shifted my focus from myself to God.
I had always felt unseen, unsought and uncertain…aware of my failings…filled with shame and despair…always telling myself to try harder.
It was only when I began guarding my heart that I began to heal. Our hearts are a direct reflection of our souls and the core of our being. It’s from our hearts which everything flows.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
I was becoming cognizant, I mean really biblically cognizant, of right and wrong. I began choosing to be happy and looking at the positive side of things. I chose to go back to some of those I wronged and apologized. I started walking the walk…which meant I was beginning to guard my heart.
Our hearts…our precious hearts… Within our hearts live our desires. Our hearts are a direct reflection of God, therefore, our desires are a direct reflection of God.. Unfortunately, for many of us, our desires are often buried in shame or embarrassment…but they are still there, under the surface, waiting and longing to be fulfilled.
Stasi and John Eldredge believe that women’s desires fall into three categories:
- to be romanced: to be seen, sought after, fought for and desired…to be pursued and be someones priority.
- to play a role in a great adventure: we want to be warriors (standing up for something or someone), we want to be needed, we want to make a difference.
- to be beautiful: we want to be delighted in – like when we were little and twirled round and round in a flirty skirt or playing dress up. It’s more about internal internal beauty which beams out.
::sigh::
I know I’m far from perfect. I know I’ve made mistakes. But all of that is the past. The past is the road which led me to where I am today. I am thankful and happy to say that I now know that I am loved and forgiven by the only one who truly matters. God. God loves me and forgives me…daily….even though I have failed him and fail him daily. He loved me before I was born. He loves me regardless of what I’ve done and what I do. God loves me.
And God loves you. Yes YOU. He loves YOU. He wants a relationship with YOU. He invites YOU. He longs for YOU. He knows YOU. He forgives YOU. He desires YOU.
It’s not about where we’ve been…but where we KNOW we are going.
It’s about HIM. For HIM. Because of HIM.
God purposefully chooses the weak and despised for spreading His word because He gains the most glory when doing so. And God knows fully well how weak and despised I’ve been…and perhaps that is why I share my story with you. So that you know that you are not alone. So that you know you have a sister in Christ who has walked a walk similar to yours. So that you know you are pursued and desired by Him. And so you know that He loves you no matter what.
1 Corinthians 1:26-31 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
