Denver

Wow... What can I say... We've been emailing and IMing today. We are both on the same wavelength and everything we each write is exactly what the other wants to say to the other or is what the other thinking...

31 days and then we'll know if we get along as well in person as we do online.

The connection we have is surreal...just surreal... I smile every time I see his name next to an unread email in my Inbox...and he does the same.

I can't wait...I don't want to wait...

And what happens if we click and get along so effortlessly fabulous in person...

He's there, I'm here...

We are both single...so who knows...

And as of today, I know we are both having the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same...everything...

Denver...you can't come to Michigan soon enough...

Relationship Recap

So I wiped out both of my blogs...the old and the more recent and started this one back up....

McD and I haven't been dating for a several months now...since April sometime. Things just didn't work out. I didn't like his kids, I wasn't fond of the way he always wanted to be around me, I wanted to venture out and make new friends and actually DO things and he did not...blah, blah, blah... I felt smothered and like I needed to get out and just breathe...to dance under the stars and in the rain with abandon... I felt like I couldn't do that with McD. I knew that McD and I were over back in December, but just couldn't find it in myself to end it...it's the whole not wanting to say something because you'll hurt the other person thing - sound familiar? Any who...I actually had a fling while in Germany for work. Not proud, but no regrets on my part - it made me realize that I needed to make some changes in my life.

I do not hear from Elvis. In fact, I run into old mutual friends and they tell me that they never hear from him either... Hopefully, he is doing well.

I hope that both McD and Elvis are doing well. I don't wish ill will on either of them...

Right now I'm just trying to figure things out... Taking it one day at a time and trying (ha!!!) not to over analyze things.

I ran into Drew a couple months ago (my god, I can't believe it's been a couple months)...and we've been seeing each other since then...

Both Drew and I are on Match.com... I check the site and so does he. We haven't talked about "relationship status" and quite frankly, I'm not sure I'm ready to do that. I like Drew (OMG, did I say that?!?!?!?!?!?!), but I'm afraid to dip my toes into the serious relationship pool again.

I don't know if we are exclusive in his mind...in my mind, we are not. If we were, then I would think we would have had the "relationship status" conversation by now and neither of us would be keeping up on the Match thing. Maybe I'm just kidding myself. Maybe I'm hiding behind meeting new people and what have you, but I'm just not ready right now... And I do not want to hear that Drew is not ready and doesn't want to be exclusive - how selfish is that?!

Tomorrow Drew is coming over for dinner. He asked me to go to the gym with him Tuesday a.m., but I have an appt at Friend of the Court I forgot about Tuesday a.m. (I know, I know...how the hell could I forget).

This past weekend I talked briefly with one of Drew's buddies. He told me that Drew was really affected by the breakup of his engagement. I'm not sure how long ago that was, I think over a year. Drew's bud also said that Drew is now commitment shy...hello! So am I! Drew and I are like two peas in a pod...I've even said/written that to Drew on more than one occasion.

So I'm dating and trying to not over analyze things. Not doing well on not over analyzing, but trying to enjoy...

There is so much more I could say, but I'm not comfortable putting it all out there any longer. This is my avenue to let my feelings out and I'm not certain I feel okay doing that any more... I write to let things out, not for anyone's entertainment, not for anyone's judgment...but just for me... I need to get beyond what other people think, even though I know that what I think is the most important thing, that other people do not know me or the entire story, etc..., before I can completely be so open again...

I so need to talk about my friend in Denver whom is coming out to stay with me for a long weekend in August... ::sigh:: ...but right now, I just can't do that... Not only because I don't need assvice from fucking idiots, but because I am not sure how I feel about it any longer. And until I figure things out in my own head, I don't know what to say. I will say that if my friend from Denver was here, that I believe in my heart that I would be torn between two men... I find myself torn now and Denver is so far away and that there is most likely no hope for anything more than a weekend in August... But until that weekend comes, I cannot be certain that it couldn't be more or that the feelings I have are real or not. I need to see him in person. I need to talk with him and spend time with him so that I know in my heart once and for all...

So much confusion... I feel torn...and uncertain...

But when I am with Drew there is no confusion.

When I am writing or chatting or texting or talking with Denver, there is no confusion there either...

But when I am alone with my thoughts, with my feet hitting the pavement during my runs, with the rope hitting the floor at the gym, etc...I feel nothing but confused...

I like Drew. I enjoy my conversations with Denver. I don't know what to do...which means that I'm not ready to commit...maybe be committed, but not commit! LOL!!!

So until I figure things out...or until me and whomever have a "relationship status" conversation that makes a relationship exclusive... I am going to have fun. I am going to try to enjoy the time I spend with whomever and make it the best possible time I can spend with them. And I will have no regrets and try my best not to over analyze things.

That's the recap... That's my relationship status in a few hundred words. It seems so, so...trivial and trite...but the feelings I have about so many of the things I have just written about are real and deep and burn to the depths of my soul...

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom

Boy, what a Saturday!

I got up, did some stuff around the house and then decided to run the dogs. I ran Zeus and it started sprinkling and decided to run Zoey anyway. I also noticed that the dirt around the sidewalk block I had replaced had caved in and I had two ginormous sink holes around it - great... So, Zoey and I head out and about half way through the course, it started pouring...Zoey and I were drenched. I figured since I was wet anyway that I'd grab the shovel and fill in the sink hole.

I am most certainly the crazy dog lady on the corner because I was out there ranting and raving the entire time - LOL!!! 45 minutes later, sink hole filled and I'm feeling like a limp, wet, cold noodle...

Drew called and we decided to go down to the Downriver Cruise...without the Shelby because it looked like rain. He picked me up at my place and met my daughter again - met her previously about 10 yrs ago. E had a graduation party to go to, so she was going to be gone all evening...and I told her that I'd pick her up if she needed a ride home. Off we went...drove around, walked a bit, went to see a friend of his son play in a band at the marina, drank some beers... The weather cleared and we drove back to his place to get the Shelby. Of course, we have to wipe it down and make it shine. I had wheel duty...

Wow, what great fun toddlin' down the road in the Shelby along with all the other classic cars. Lots of looks and cheers to burn rubber... Drew reved the engine a few times, but hard to burn rubber when you have 10 ft. of space between you and the next car.

We stopped in the park, had a beer, then headed back to marina. Drew took his buddy's son out for a ride in the Shelby while I talked with his buddy. Okay, while I got the 20 questions/comments from his buddy about what was going on with Drew and I... Drew's a good guy, Drew's hesitant about commitment, you guys look good together, how long have you been dating, etc, etc...

Any who... the clouds are rolling in from out of no where and the sky is getting black and Drew and I start freaking out because the car may get wet... Yes, I know, I was worried, too! LOL!!! We get back to his place without a drop of rain touching the car and Drew makes us some fruit and crackers... We hung out for a while and eventually picked up my daughter from a graduation party. I'm still starving when we get home, so I make some tuna fish (yum at 2 a.m.! LOL!!!) and finally head off to bed...

All in all what started out as a crappy day wound up to be a pretty good one!

Go Tigers!

Heading downtown to Comerica Park for the Tigers game this afternoon with Drew. It looks like it's going to be a great day today, highs in the low 80's and only a 20% chance of rain - cool, cool! :)

Turns out that Drew may have been wanting to get some brownie points with me... He thought it would be great if I could go with him, but is going on a charter salmon fishing thing the next day in the U.P., so maybe next time... I guess this explains his taking things "one day at a time" comment about our relationship status. Which is cool with me! :)

I think we both have an inkling of a thought that we may not be the "one" for each other, but for now we are having a great time hanging out, doing things together, etc... In fact, we are both members on the Match site and we both still check the site to see what's going on. I know because you can tell how active someone is.

So...I'm thinking that Drew and I aren't dating and I just freaked out a bit - I have a tendancy to over analyze sometimes. In any event, I may broach the subject with him after the game today...but maybe not...I dunno. I like what we have now and I don't want to ruin it, so I may just go along for the ride...one day at a time... ;)

I actually met a guy from Match for drinks last night. We had a blast. He's the third gent I've met from the site and the only one I'd be interested in seeing again. He's the cute, funny bald guy...LOL! Okay, so that's how he referred to himself and I have to say that I can't disagree.

Okay, I need to get my butt in gear, I have to do some stuff around here and then get ready for the game.

Go Tigers!!!!

The Weekend

This was a wonderfully relaxing weekend...

Saturday morning Drew picked me up around 10:30 and we went out for breakfast. From there we went to watch one of Drew's friend's sons in a baseball tournament. It was a lovely day, the sun was out, a breeze was keeping things cool...we leaned against the fence and talked for over an hour while watching the game. After that we drove over to my sis' house, had a few beers and then Drew drove me home around 5 pm. I relaxed more and then headed back to my sis' house for an evening party. Although before he dropped me off, Drew asked if I wanted to go workout with him in the am. and I said yes.

So, Sunday a.m., I get up and do some grocery shopping. Drew picks me up by 10 a.m. and off we go to the Rec. Center. Drew goes off to the pool to swim and I jump rope, run and lift some weights. We meet in the whirlpool and then head outside to lay in the sun for a good hour or so. So...relaxing. We decide to leave and head to the showers. Once done, we stop at the store, pick up some beer and pretzels...Drew buys us some lemonade from a kid selling it outside the store...so sweet!...then it's over to his place to feed the fish in his pond and pack up the Shelby. We relax on the patio with a beer before heading out...then drive down to the park where we find a spot by the lake. We sit at a picnic table for a few hours, drinking beer, eating pretzel sticks and talking about everything and nothing... The sky starts clouding up, so we head back to his place and have another beer on the patio. We snuggle a bit on the couch and then it was time to take me home as I need to pick up my daughter, "E".

Sunday was such a great day...relaxing, fun... With Drew I can just be myself and we have this witty banter between us that is so refreshing.

I honestly don't think he knows what to do with me sometimes... After showering, I beat him out and am waiting... I see him stop and wait for me...like I'm going to take forever... So he walks over to some weights and starts lifting. I ask to go back in and walk over to him. I clap my hands a couple times while saying, "Chop, chop! Let's go!" I laugh and he just looks embarrassed... The majority of patrons at the Rec. Center are Arabic and their culture doesn't look fondly upon women like me! I didn't even think about it until Drew brought it up while we were sitting in the park... Hmmm... Oh well, I thought it was hilarious! ;)

Thursday I'm going to a Tiger game with Drew and a supplier and someone else... It will be a great day as long as the weather cooperates! I've never been to Comerica Park, but have heard nothing but great things about it.

So this afternoon Drew and I were emailing and he mentioned that it would be great if I could go up north with him in August when he does his 10k open water swim... HUH?!?!?! Lord, I'm not ready for this!!!! This means that we are actually "dating", right??? ACK! LOL!!!

I was just enjoying our time together, not worried about any pressure to be anything...just going with the flow...this just floored me!

Anyway, before I left the office, I emailed him back asking for clarification whether or not he was asking me to go with him...we'll see how he responds...

::sigh::

Any who...the weekend was one of the best ones I've had in ages...even if I didn't get a lick of anything done around the house! It was great not worrying or thinking about anything...and wonderful just relaxing and being me! :)

Happy Friday!!!!

I woke up this morning energetic and feeling positive.

Even with all the crap at work, the endless hours of yardwork, the dogs eating more shoes...etc...I am feeling pretty darn good today! :)

Plus, it's the first evening of the weekend - wooohooo!!!!

Lots of good stuff planned for the weekend. My friend Richard is coming over tonight with some Kolsch, so I'm sure he'll want to give me a therapy session...lol! I think it's him that needs the session, but, hey...who am I to say. Richard is like the big brother I never had, so it will be good to hangout with him for a couple hours. Plus, I'll be hangin' with him and D2, his girlfriend, tomorrow for a bit at my sis' house...so that'll be nice, since I haven't seen either one of them in ages!!!

Tomorrow I'll be seeing my friend Drew (previously referred to as BC). I think (???) we are going to take his Shelby out for a ride to watch a friend of Drew's son play in a hardball tournament. Then later in the evening I'll be going to my sis' house for her birthday party...not sure whether or not Drew will join me...but either way will be fine with me...although I would like him to join me. Should be a fun relaxing day! :) It's always fun and relaxing to hang with Drew - no drama! He's really laid-back, so how could it not be relaxing...

Sunday...it's all about ME! Errands, yardwork, lounging in the sun, etc...whatever "I" want to do! :)

As for now...Happy Friday!!!! :)

...don't I look happy and mischevious?!?! LOL!!!!

Hope everyone has a good one! :)

It's all about me....

I work full-time, have my daughter (16) part-time, and am the furmom two crazy Siberian Huskies, so it's a wonder I don't have any grey hair yet!

Right now I'm in process of building up my network of friends, again, since my ex got all the friends from the divorce... ;)

I love working out - I run, okay jog, my dogs (one at a time), jump rope and do some light weights.

Like watching hockey, but not really any other sports unless I'm there. Lions games are fun, but the Lions are not so good...!

I'm not into camping...my idea of camping is the Holiday Inn...

I'd much rather vacation somewhere warm and tropical or someplace exciting and new like Italy, Australia, Caribbean islands, Europe...

I do not have credit cards. If I can't pay cash, I don't buy.

I love being around people and being social, but at the same time, I love my "me" time and do not mind being alone.

I seem to be all over the map with music these days...and live music of just about any kind...love it!

I may have a boring day job...but I do like to have fun! :)

I tell it like it is and say what's on my mind...only to deal with the repercussions later...

I'm very independent and like to do things for myself, so don't get upset when I don't ask for help. But when I do ask, I really and truly need it!

I like holding hands, kissing, cuddling...etc, etc...

I will say that the man I'm with always gets treated like a king.

I've been around the block a couple times and am not in the mood to play any games... I like to know where I stand at all times... And if someone isn't interested or wants to go their own way, I'd rather have them say so, then not say anything at all...

Should I mention I can write on and on about anything, nothing??? But at the same time, I can be a little tentative on the phone/in person when meeting someone new...

...and what am I looking for in a man???

Someone with similar likes, interests, who is in shape and whom I click with...

I don't like to be too particular about what I want because everyone is different and you can't put labels on people... I think if you do that, you'd likely miss out on the person of your dreams... Plus, you really can't categorize everything you're looking for in someone and sometimes what you think you are looking for isn't really what you want!

Fresh! Start

Oh yeah, that's right...a fresh start...

Wiping the slate clean and starting a new! :)