Bathroom Blunders

This isn't a typical post...it's kinda funny and quite hilarious now that I am able to sit back and laugh about it.

So about a month ago, the glamster came running in on me in the bathroom.  I had taken off my socks and was going to flush the toilet.  He startled me and the sock...  The sock fell into the toilet as the swirling water was making it's way down into the great unknown.  Yup.  The sock flushed down the toilet.

The glamster and I stood there looking at each other with wide eyes.  I believe he actually said, "Oh my gosh".  Luckily I have a 6 ft auger.  So out it came...but no sock was to be found.  Luckily, I have two full bathrooms.  So that toilet sat idle...and we used the other bathroom.

Last week I decided to host what I called the Third Annual Ornament Exchange and Celebration.  I think I had about 25 ladies in my place last year...and if I was gonna do it again, it was time to get the toilet unclogged.  I'd need both bathrooms functioning with 25 ladies.

The plumber came this morning.  I'll call him Jimmy cause I think that was his name.  My memory is not what it once was....but I digress.  We flushed the toilet a couple times and it wasn't good.  I sat there shaking my head "no" as Jimmy watched the water swirl while from time to time look at me.  

Out to the van Jimmy went.  Jimmy brought in his own 6 ft. auger (same one I have, so I guess I made a good purchase when the glamster got something else stuck in the same toilet).  Several attempts were made with the auger. Alas, no sock could be found.  And the toilet still wasn't flushing right.  Jimmy looked at me and said, "I'm going to have to take the toilet off."  

Off comes the toilet.  No sock.  Jimmy looks at me and tells me he's going to have to go get the big guns...  That would be the electric auger.  I assumed Jimmy was going out to the van...but he had to go back to the main office (only a few miles away).  So I waited.  And waited.  It seemed like eternity and I wanted to go into the office.  

Jimmy finally arrives back and in he comes with three ginormous thick cloth tarps.  Did I mention I have off-white carpeting?  Down go the three tarps so the auger could make it's red carpet entrance.  Luckily after several attempts with the auger something (hopefully the sock..but who knows?) let loose and water started flowing.  Not quite how it should...but it was flowing.  He said if it acted up again they would have to snake a camera down there...and if it was something out where-ever the only way to get to it would be to break through the floor...did I mention I live on a slab????  I believe my exact words were, "I see dollar signs in my future..."

Well, back together the toilet goes.  Jimmy tells me to flush frequently throughout the day - so much for going into work - and that the company will bill me.  

So now I'm at home...flushing...all day.  Exciting.  Oh and don't forget about the toilet water cleanup.  My white tile and its grout hasn't been as white as it is now for a while!  LOL!

What to do...what to do???  Oh I'll do some home projects I've been putting off.  Let me tell you, I barely made it through the first one.

I have an ornamental shower rod which the little rubber pads fell off of.  This was several months ago.  The tub has been curtain-less since then.  I had the rod with curtain and liner still attached to it in my spare room.  

I find the krazy glue in the junk drawer and off I go into the spare room.  I apply a generous amount.  Okay, the glue came out like a water fall... I think nothing of it and attach the rubber to the end of the shower rod...and hold it there.  I wanted to make sure it was firmly affixed before I removed my fingers. I go to remove my fingers and my middle and third fingers did not remove.  They were FIRMLY affixed to the end of the rod.  Yes.  FIRMLY.  AFFIXED.  

I was in the back bedroom with a shower curtain rod with curtain and liner FIRMLY AFFIXED to my left hand.  I tried pulling the fingers off...but dang did it hurt.  There was no pulling anything off.  I'm screaming by this point.  Using my right hand, I pull the rod with curtain and liner all the way through the house to the bathroom which contains fingernail polish remover.  I have to pull the rod with curtain/liner fully into the bathroom and close the door to open the small bathroom closet containing the polish remover.  I cannot begin to describe how difficult and painful it was to maneuver to reach the pot of gold that was going to save my fingers.  Did I mention I was screaming?  

I get the polish remover out and try pouring onto my fingers which I'm sure are getting huge blisters on them.  The polish remover pours all over my freshly bleached bathroom tiled floor...  My fingers are not moving or removing and I am screaming again.

I reach in the closet for a cotton ball and start pouring remover and dabbing it while trying to hold the rod with my affixed fingers which makes it hurt even worse...  I was quite contorted and my fingers were burning.  (I wish I had video now...LOL!)

So I pull all of this stuff - remover bottle, cotton ball, rod with curtain/liner flapping behind into the kitchen.  I'm truly struggling to hold the rod and dab my fingers.  While I'm dabbing, I notice my other hand's fingers are starting to stick together.  AHHHH!!!  What???  No, this can't be!  But it's happening.  Crap.  More screaming.  I get a knife out of the drawer and start to scrape away at the point where the skin is affixed to the rod...but that hurts worse.  Now I'm certain I am going to have contact blisters on my poor affixed fingers.  

I begin freaking out and considering going to the hospital.  Then I think to myself that I would just look like a complete moron.  So I nixed that idea right away.

So, what should do I do?  I know! Take a picture and send it to my friend Betty.  I'm so laughing at myself now.  It's what everyone would do, right?  Share their plight with a friend...  Oh man (rolling eyes at myself now)...

I put the phone down and ask Siri how to unstick fingers stuck with krazy glue...because that's what anyone would do next, right?  I get to the krazy glue site and it says to soak fingers in acetone.  I look at the phone and I'm like...really?   I'll just pour this quarter bottle of polish remover into a giant bowl and stick the end of the rod and my hand it.  Seriously though, I have the rod propped against the counter and this didn't seem feasible at all.  

I decide to put the rod with curtain/liner up on the breakfast bar for some leverage.  I'm not sure why, but I find it necessary to remind that the curtain and liner are attached to the rod.  So now the cupboards containing the bowls are behind me and to the left.  My left hand is somewhat holding the rod up and my right hand is doing the rest of the holding.  I can't reach anything!

More contorting and screaming.  I have to reach backwards with my right hand to open the cupboard and feel around for a paper bowl...luckily within reach.  I'm thinking I would be pretty good at playing Twister at this point.

I get the bowl and put about a quarter of the polish remover in it.  Thankfully I'm able to hold the bowl up to my fingers.  So now it's doubly burning.  I'm also freaking out because I would hate for my acrylic nails to fall off.  (Third world problems, right?)  That's not all because now all of my fingers are sticking together...the glue is coming off...but not where I want it to.  More screaming.

I decide that I just need to start prying my middle finger off.  I begin to roll it back and forth while pulling on it.  And I wasn't pulling on it gently.  By this point, I'm scared, annoyed, frustrated and tired of this crap.  But wait...Freedom!!!!  A finger is free!!!  So...I do the same with the other one...  This one is more stubborn and my other fingers are beginning to stick together again.  Nooooo!  I really wish I had this on video.

At long last, my fingers are free.  I scrub my hands in polish remover...so gross...glue is all over both hands.  And still is...and likely will be for days.  This is only one finger.  The tops of my hands are worse...the acetone turned the glue white.  And it was E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E.

But...the shower curtain is back up.  Mission accomplished.  Krazy glue...take that!  Ha!

Next time you come to my house, make sure to sneak a peak at the ornate rod closest to the toilet.  You'll see remnants of this bathroom blunder. LOL!!!

Like I told Betty, "I can't make this shit up.  And remember I'm at home because I flushed a sock down the toilet."  "I so wish I would've been drinking when I did that and then it would at least make some excuse for it LOL"!

Oh, and all the while I'm typing this, I'm sporadically flushing the toilet...and wishing I had a video.  Dang, did I say that I wish I had a video?

Even when life happens I am able to #BeHappy and #FindTheJoy...

Middle Management

How are you at managing your “middle”?

I know it’s an odd question.  But stop and think about it.

In our lives, there is always something ending, there is always something beginning and we are always in the middle of something.  Our ability to manage our reactions and emotions in the “middle” will determine the path of our lives.

Again, stop and think about it.  What happened the last time you were in the the “middle” of it?  If you’re like me, middle reactions are not always the greatest and middle emotions are not always well managed.

God’s promises are always there for us.  God wants us and yearns for us to receive them.  How we manage our middle will determine whether or not we achieve and are open to receiving those promises.

We need to stop letting our battles overcome our blessings and begin ensuring that our story is relevant. We need to keep sight on what is good.  When we are in the middle, we lose sight of our blessings.  When we are in the middle, those blessings may seem small. We can’t let that misconception rule our lives.  We need to reign over perspectives.  We need to be intentional with our emotions and reactions.

Why?

Our emotions and reactions dictate how others will respond.

Our emotions and reactions dictate our outlook on things.

Our emotions and reactions directly impact our future.

If we want positivity in our lives, we must maintain today’s story.

Story?  What’s my story?

We need to maintain our story because we fight the enemy today with today’s story. Yesterday’s story is old and withered and we may no longer believe in it.  We need to dig deep and find even the tiniest of miracles in our lives today.  And then we must tell that story.  Tell it to ourselves and others.  The stories we tell ourselves and others have a profound impact.  

If our story is about how awesome we are, how blessed we are, what a great five minute workout we had...we'll exude positive vibes.  If our story is about how we were stuck in traffic for 20 minutes, how much we hate all the commercials, how horrible we are at __fill in the blank__...we'll exude some pretty bad juju.

David fought a giant with a  tiny rock. Our story doesn’t have to be ginormous.  It can be a telling of one of the tiniest things.  One of my tiny stories is that a little ole white haired woman gave me a cart without accepting a quarter back at Aldi.  Small...yet selfless and gave me joy today.

We need to stop and think about the story we are telling ourselves today and how we manage our "middles".

The story we tell ourselves and our middle management play a huge part in determining whether or not we can #BeHappy and #FindTheJoy.

Thanks to Steven Furtick for the topic and message!