Bathroom Blunders

This isn't a typical post...it's kinda funny and quite hilarious now that I am able to sit back and laugh about it.

So about a month ago, the glamster came running in on me in the bathroom.  I had taken off my socks and was going to flush the toilet.  He startled me and the sock...  The sock fell into the toilet as the swirling water was making it's way down into the great unknown.  Yup.  The sock flushed down the toilet.

The glamster and I stood there looking at each other with wide eyes.  I believe he actually said, "Oh my gosh".  Luckily I have a 6 ft auger.  So out it came...but no sock was to be found.  Luckily, I have two full bathrooms.  So that toilet sat idle...and we used the other bathroom.

Last week I decided to host what I called the Third Annual Ornament Exchange and Celebration.  I think I had about 25 ladies in my place last year...and if I was gonna do it again, it was time to get the toilet unclogged.  I'd need both bathrooms functioning with 25 ladies.

The plumber came this morning.  I'll call him Jimmy cause I think that was his name.  My memory is not what it once was....but I digress.  We flushed the toilet a couple times and it wasn't good.  I sat there shaking my head "no" as Jimmy watched the water swirl while from time to time look at me.  

Out to the van Jimmy went.  Jimmy brought in his own 6 ft. auger (same one I have, so I guess I made a good purchase when the glamster got something else stuck in the same toilet).  Several attempts were made with the auger. Alas, no sock could be found.  And the toilet still wasn't flushing right.  Jimmy looked at me and said, "I'm going to have to take the toilet off."  

Off comes the toilet.  No sock.  Jimmy looks at me and tells me he's going to have to go get the big guns...  That would be the electric auger.  I assumed Jimmy was going out to the van...but he had to go back to the main office (only a few miles away).  So I waited.  And waited.  It seemed like eternity and I wanted to go into the office.  

Jimmy finally arrives back and in he comes with three ginormous thick cloth tarps.  Did I mention I have off-white carpeting?  Down go the three tarps so the auger could make it's red carpet entrance.  Luckily after several attempts with the auger something (hopefully the sock..but who knows?) let loose and water started flowing.  Not quite how it should...but it was flowing.  He said if it acted up again they would have to snake a camera down there...and if it was something out where-ever the only way to get to it would be to break through the floor...did I mention I live on a slab????  I believe my exact words were, "I see dollar signs in my future..."

Well, back together the toilet goes.  Jimmy tells me to flush frequently throughout the day - so much for going into work - and that the company will bill me.  

So now I'm at home...flushing...all day.  Exciting.  Oh and don't forget about the toilet water cleanup.  My white tile and its grout hasn't been as white as it is now for a while!  LOL!

What to do...what to do???  Oh I'll do some home projects I've been putting off.  Let me tell you, I barely made it through the first one.

I have an ornamental shower rod which the little rubber pads fell off of.  This was several months ago.  The tub has been curtain-less since then.  I had the rod with curtain and liner still attached to it in my spare room.  

I find the krazy glue in the junk drawer and off I go into the spare room.  I apply a generous amount.  Okay, the glue came out like a water fall... I think nothing of it and attach the rubber to the end of the shower rod...and hold it there.  I wanted to make sure it was firmly affixed before I removed my fingers. I go to remove my fingers and my middle and third fingers did not remove.  They were FIRMLY affixed to the end of the rod.  Yes.  FIRMLY.  AFFIXED.  

I was in the back bedroom with a shower curtain rod with curtain and liner FIRMLY AFFIXED to my left hand.  I tried pulling the fingers off...but dang did it hurt.  There was no pulling anything off.  I'm screaming by this point.  Using my right hand, I pull the rod with curtain and liner all the way through the house to the bathroom which contains fingernail polish remover.  I have to pull the rod with curtain/liner fully into the bathroom and close the door to open the small bathroom closet containing the polish remover.  I cannot begin to describe how difficult and painful it was to maneuver to reach the pot of gold that was going to save my fingers.  Did I mention I was screaming?  

I get the polish remover out and try pouring onto my fingers which I'm sure are getting huge blisters on them.  The polish remover pours all over my freshly bleached bathroom tiled floor...  My fingers are not moving or removing and I am screaming again.

I reach in the closet for a cotton ball and start pouring remover and dabbing it while trying to hold the rod with my affixed fingers which makes it hurt even worse...  I was quite contorted and my fingers were burning.  (I wish I had video now...LOL!)

So I pull all of this stuff - remover bottle, cotton ball, rod with curtain/liner flapping behind into the kitchen.  I'm truly struggling to hold the rod and dab my fingers.  While I'm dabbing, I notice my other hand's fingers are starting to stick together.  AHHHH!!!  What???  No, this can't be!  But it's happening.  Crap.  More screaming.  I get a knife out of the drawer and start to scrape away at the point where the skin is affixed to the rod...but that hurts worse.  Now I'm certain I am going to have contact blisters on my poor affixed fingers.  

I begin freaking out and considering going to the hospital.  Then I think to myself that I would just look like a complete moron.  So I nixed that idea right away.

So, what should do I do?  I know! Take a picture and send it to my friend Betty.  I'm so laughing at myself now.  It's what everyone would do, right?  Share their plight with a friend...  Oh man (rolling eyes at myself now)...

I put the phone down and ask Siri how to unstick fingers stuck with krazy glue...because that's what anyone would do next, right?  I get to the krazy glue site and it says to soak fingers in acetone.  I look at the phone and I'm like...really?   I'll just pour this quarter bottle of polish remover into a giant bowl and stick the end of the rod and my hand it.  Seriously though, I have the rod propped against the counter and this didn't seem feasible at all.  

I decide to put the rod with curtain/liner up on the breakfast bar for some leverage.  I'm not sure why, but I find it necessary to remind that the curtain and liner are attached to the rod.  So now the cupboards containing the bowls are behind me and to the left.  My left hand is somewhat holding the rod up and my right hand is doing the rest of the holding.  I can't reach anything!

More contorting and screaming.  I have to reach backwards with my right hand to open the cupboard and feel around for a paper bowl...luckily within reach.  I'm thinking I would be pretty good at playing Twister at this point.

I get the bowl and put about a quarter of the polish remover in it.  Thankfully I'm able to hold the bowl up to my fingers.  So now it's doubly burning.  I'm also freaking out because I would hate for my acrylic nails to fall off.  (Third world problems, right?)  That's not all because now all of my fingers are sticking together...the glue is coming off...but not where I want it to.  More screaming.

I decide that I just need to start prying my middle finger off.  I begin to roll it back and forth while pulling on it.  And I wasn't pulling on it gently.  By this point, I'm scared, annoyed, frustrated and tired of this crap.  But wait...Freedom!!!!  A finger is free!!!  So...I do the same with the other one...  This one is more stubborn and my other fingers are beginning to stick together again.  Nooooo!  I really wish I had this on video.

At long last, my fingers are free.  I scrub my hands in polish remover...so gross...glue is all over both hands.  And still is...and likely will be for days.  This is only one finger.  The tops of my hands are worse...the acetone turned the glue white.  And it was E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E.

But...the shower curtain is back up.  Mission accomplished.  Krazy glue...take that!  Ha!

Next time you come to my house, make sure to sneak a peak at the ornate rod closest to the toilet.  You'll see remnants of this bathroom blunder. LOL!!!

Like I told Betty, "I can't make this shit up.  And remember I'm at home because I flushed a sock down the toilet."  "I so wish I would've been drinking when I did that and then it would at least make some excuse for it LOL"!

Oh, and all the while I'm typing this, I'm sporadically flushing the toilet...and wishing I had a video.  Dang, did I say that I wish I had a video?

Even when life happens I am able to #BeHappy and #FindTheJoy...

Middle Management

How are you at managing your “middle”?

I know it’s an odd question.  But stop and think about it.

In our lives, there is always something ending, there is always something beginning and we are always in the middle of something.  Our ability to manage our reactions and emotions in the “middle” will determine the path of our lives.

Again, stop and think about it.  What happened the last time you were in the the “middle” of it?  If you’re like me, middle reactions are not always the greatest and middle emotions are not always well managed.

God’s promises are always there for us.  God wants us and yearns for us to receive them.  How we manage our middle will determine whether or not we achieve and are open to receiving those promises.

We need to stop letting our battles overcome our blessings and begin ensuring that our story is relevant. We need to keep sight on what is good.  When we are in the middle, we lose sight of our blessings.  When we are in the middle, those blessings may seem small. We can’t let that misconception rule our lives.  We need to reign over perspectives.  We need to be intentional with our emotions and reactions.

Why?

Our emotions and reactions dictate how others will respond.

Our emotions and reactions dictate our outlook on things.

Our emotions and reactions directly impact our future.

If we want positivity in our lives, we must maintain today’s story.

Story?  What’s my story?

We need to maintain our story because we fight the enemy today with today’s story. Yesterday’s story is old and withered and we may no longer believe in it.  We need to dig deep and find even the tiniest of miracles in our lives today.  And then we must tell that story.  Tell it to ourselves and others.  The stories we tell ourselves and others have a profound impact.  

If our story is about how awesome we are, how blessed we are, what a great five minute workout we had...we'll exude positive vibes.  If our story is about how we were stuck in traffic for 20 minutes, how much we hate all the commercials, how horrible we are at __fill in the blank__...we'll exude some pretty bad juju.

David fought a giant with a  tiny rock. Our story doesn’t have to be ginormous.  It can be a telling of one of the tiniest things.  One of my tiny stories is that a little ole white haired woman gave me a cart without accepting a quarter back at Aldi.  Small...yet selfless and gave me joy today.

We need to stop and think about the story we are telling ourselves today and how we manage our "middles".

The story we tell ourselves and our middle management play a huge part in determining whether or not we can #BeHappy and #FindTheJoy.

Thanks to Steven Furtick for the topic and message!

I am.

Let's see...where was I.  Oh yes, the "I am's"...

Over the course of 10 days, here is what I ended up with.  

1. I am compassionate.
2. I am a mom.
3. I am a glamma - I don’t feel like a “grandma”.
4. I am persistent.
5. I am honest.
6. I am a Christian struggling with her faith.
7. I am empathetic.
8. I am a friend.
9. I am a sister
10. I am playing it safe.
11. I am brave.
12. I am beautiful.
13. I am loving.
14. I am intuitive.
15. I am a leader.
16. I am structured.
17. I am an ambivert.
18. I am authentic.
19. I am thorough.
20. I am direct.
21. I am truthful.
22. I am smart.
23. I am a teacher.
24. I am a writer.
25. I am driven.
26. I am a white girl.
27. I am His.
28. I am discerning.
29. I am a planner.
30. I am thoughtful.
31. I am a caregiver.
32. I am a counselor.
33. I am a Director (on a Board of Directors).
34. I am a popcorn lover.
35. I am a good listener.
36. I am organized.
37. I am a defender.
38. I am a student.
39. I am funny.
40. I am young at heart.
41. I am detail oriented.
42. I am loved.
43. I am needed.
44. I am cherished.
45. I am stylish.
46. I am willing.
47. I am a winner.
48. I am moving forward.
49. I am unique.
50. I am a warrior.
51. I am surrendered. 
52. I am unstoppable.
53. I am respected/respectful.
54. I am inspired.
55. I am reborn/made new.

"I am sure I'll have to refer back to these from time-to-time." ;)

Finally Forward

Today was very interesting...very interesting indeed.  I feel like I am finally getting unstuck.  I feel like am moving.  I feel like I am finally able to say that I am looking forward to...

...what is to come. 
...the impact I can make. 
...learning more about myself.
...growing in knowledge.
...helping others.
...the future in general.
...going to the dentist tomorrow to ready my molar for a crown....but not really.  (Popcorn 2...Sue 0 - yup, that would make for two broken teeth due to biting a popcorn kernel.)

And with that, it's time to add nine things "I am" which will take the list to a whopping 19...

1. I am compassionate.
2. I am a mom.
3. I am a glamma - I don’t feel like a “grandma”.
4. I am persistent.
5. I am honest.
6. I am a Christian struggling with her faith.
7. I am empathetic.
8. I am a friend.
9. I am a sister
10. I am playing it safe.
11. I am brave.
12. I am beautiful.
13. I am loving.
14. I am intuitive.
15. I am a leader.
16. I am structured.
17. I am an ambivert.
18. I am authentic.
19. I am thorough.

10 I am’s

Lately, I’ve been struggling with who I am.  So I’m taking a challenge from one of my life BODs (Board of Directors).  For the next 10 days, I will be making statements about who I am.

Here goes today’s...

1. I am compassionate.
2. I am a mom.
3. I am a glamma - I don’t feel like a “grandma”.
4. I am persistent.
5. I am honest.
6. I am a Christian struggling with her faith.
7. I am empathetic.
8. I am a friend.
9. I am a sister
10. I am playing it safe.

Reservation Cancelled

Yes, you read the title right.  The reservation for my Pity Party table of one has been cancelled.  

It had to be cancelled.  There is no way it could stand. 

What you may not understand is that the reservation wasn’t cancelled by me.  

It was cancelled by the one greater than me.

It was cancelled by the one who defeated His opponent time and time again.

Yes, he reigns victorious and is the ultimate prize fighter.

He tells me my reservation is cancelled.

He tells me that I am promised eternity.

He tells me that I am chosen.  

He tells me that I am his beloved.  

He tells me that I am loved.

He tells me that I am forgiven.

He tells me that I am worthy.

He tells me that his power is within me.

He tells me that he is strong when I am weak.

He tells me that he is gracious when I am callous.

He tells me that he is peaceful when I am worrisome.

He tells me that he is what I am not.

He tells me reservation cancelled.

He tells me and I listen to he who is I Am.

Beyond...

I was invited to be interviewed during a worship service at church last night regarding how the last three years have impacted my life.  Not sure why, but I feel compelled to share my thoughts here on the questions that Brett asked me.

How did I get involved with Southpoint?

Well, I started selling Mary Kay to help my daughter and glamson financially.   Little did I know that Mary Kay’s philosophy is God first, family second, career third.  Naturally, God was part of every meeting and event I attended.  At one of the retreats I attended, I connected with a Director who invited me to attend a bible study she was going to be leading on Gideon.  Mind you, even though I was raised catholic, I was not attending church and had actually walked away from God back in 2006.  Plus, I’d never cracked open a bible, so I was a little nervous at first.  Shortly after that study ended, I attended another retreat where I heard a pastor speak….which led me to do some church shopping at the beginning of 2014…and I was hooked on the first church I tried - Southpoint.

A few months after attending Southpoint, I decided I needed to surrender my life to Christ and got baptized.  Then, a couple weeks later, became a member.  Oh and I can’t forget about joining a group – it was only natural for me to join a group given that is how I was re-introduced to God.

How has Southpoint changed my life?

My life has take a complete 180!  And it started with turning control over to God…. My way of life had always centered around me…it was all about doing what I wanted when I wanted to make myself feel better.  Instead of feeling better, all I was doing was diving deeper and deeper into sin and shame and further and further away from God.  I finally began to find peace when I shifted my focus from myself to God.  

Today, I’m involved in groups, ministry and events here at Southpoint, I volunteer outside of church on a regular basis and I’m at church every weekend…most weekends multiple services.  I read my bible and am convicted to live intentionally.

Proverbs 3:17 NIV Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.

That’s the verse I chose when asked to pick a verse that I wanted to strive for while participating in a c-group here at Southpoint.  Peace.  It’s something I had been looking for my entire life.  And now I finally have it.  Several months ago, I realized that the “HER” was wisdom…and with wisdom comes peace.  Wisdom is more precious than rubies…it’s what binds us with Christ.  Christ Jesus is peace…he’s the way, the truth and the life.

How did you get involved in Beyond? (Beyond is an initiative at Southpoint to go Beyond ourselves, our walls and our community by giving of our time, talents and treasures.)

I have to be honest…in the past, when giving would come up, I would cringe or roll my eyes and think…oh brother, not this again.  But something changed for me even before the Beyond initiative…it actually happened during some group discussions when we were doing an Andy Stanley study on the Enemy Within.  That discussion really made me stop and think about where my money was going and how little I was actually giving back to God.  I mean, think about how much God has given us.  How much he has given me.  I upped my giving, but only by a smidgen, after that. 

Then Beyond Initiative was introduced…  Initially, I was afraid to think about increasing my giving, so I rationalized that serving God and others was enough.  I mean I was leading groups, serving in a few ministries, filling in where needed at weekend services and volunteering in the community once a month…and thought…that’s good enough.

Well, last summer during the leader retreat I was really challenged to see where my money was going and if I was doing all that I could.  And when I thought about it, the answer was no, I wasn’t.  But at that time I didn’t do anything about it.  Because…well, giving more was scary.

Then a couple months later I was challenged again when I met with Mark and Cindy at my condo.  They asked me to consider what I could do, in addition to what I was already doing, and to pledge to begin doing it in October.  Oh boy…super scary.  After giving it much thought and prayer, this time, I took the plunge and doubled my giving.  And because I’m either all in or all out…I began giving more as soon as I decided that I was going to do it.  Not only that, but I decided to start putting the same amount towards my retirement as well.

And so far, it’s been okay.  In fact, better than okay.  Even though my budget is completely red, somehow it always turns green right when I need it.  I didn’t realize it, but after I committed to giving more is when things really started going right.  Because I intentionally stepped out in faith for God…our Lord was more than happy to help me out as well.  Within three months I had my credit card paid off for the first time in literally 20 years!  On top of that, I was able to take a much needed vacation to the Dominican Republic without charging it.  And little did I know but God was actually preparing my finances for my daughter’s surprise of I’m pulling my wedding up by 1.5 years!  By the grace of God, within a matter of three months, I was able to help give her a wedding of her dreams…and I plan on having that paid off by this coming March.  

Today, my budget is still red…but somehow it always manages to turn itself green right when I need it.  I know that God is with me and blessing me in so many ways…and I'm sure so many ways I’m not even aware of.  I’ve actually been considering upping my giving again.  But after hearing Shelene Bryan talk at the Extraordinary Women conference last weekend, I felt lead to sponsor a child.  It really doesn’t fit my budget, but I’m now sponsoring Bania who was born on the day I became a member of Southpoint – March 23, 2014.  And I know without a doubt that God will provide a way for me to continue to do this.

Beyond isn’t only about money…it’s also about our time and talents.  After last year’s GoServe week (Southpoint goes out into the Downriver community), I decided to make a commitment to give more of my time and partnered with the DRMM.  Now, on third Saturday of each month I lead a group of people who goes downtown to serve lunch to the homeless.  We’re scheduled out through this calendar year and signups are posted to the GoServe site. 

I think the Beyond initiative has helped me strive to grow to become a true follower of God.  Its helped push me to give of myself – my money, my time, my talent.  Its helped me realize that my life is not about me…but rather about what I can do for others in the name of Jesus.  Most importantly, it helps me continually look beyond myself. 

Because of Southpoint and Beyond, I have come to know such a great peace.  Such great peace in such a short amount of time.  My life verse is my life.  (Proverbs 3:17 Her ways are pleasant ways and all her paths are peace.)  Of course, my life is not all butterflies and rainbows, but that’s okay.  I know God has my back. 

I pray that everyone can feel and experience the relief and joy of relinquishing control to God.  Getting connected, serving, giving back…  Because it’s not about us.  It’s about God.  Once we intentionally and consistently give control to God is when we find and are filled with His spirit.

I suppose the long and the short of it is that I’ve become intentional.  I love that word.  Intentional.  I have joy in my life now and I can’t see myself ever going back to the way I used to live.  God is truly great.