This will be the first of many running/training entries, I'm sure!
Today I ran 4 miles in 37.4 then slowed the pace for another half mile or so...
Added some weight lifting and stretching before and after.
WoooHoo!!! I'm on my way!!!! And I'm stoked!!! :)
Monday, July 7, 2008
Simply Sunday
Sunday was just what the doctor ordered…
I slept in, ran some errands and then Drew and I went on a four/five mile nature walk, went back to his place had a couple beers, talked…came over to my place, walked the dogs, then grabbed the paper, I made some dip and we sat out back sipping beer, eating tortillas 'n dip and reading the paper. We watched a few innings of the Tigers' game and then Drew went home…only to have the Tigers win in the 15th inning - about time!!!! He'll be coming over Wednesday for dinner…and will be gone for a four day weekend golfing extravaganza.
During our walk, I convinced myself that I am going to run a marathon next year. I need to have some goals and what better to get my mind and body in shape! :) So I did a little research and I am on track for a marathon in 2009! :) Drew's behind me and he's already given me some insight to things, so I have the beginnings of a cheering section…Woohoo!!!
Things are lookin' brighter already! :)
I slept in, ran some errands and then Drew and I went on a four/five mile nature walk, went back to his place had a couple beers, talked…came over to my place, walked the dogs, then grabbed the paper, I made some dip and we sat out back sipping beer, eating tortillas 'n dip and reading the paper. We watched a few innings of the Tigers' game and then Drew went home…only to have the Tigers win in the 15th inning - about time!!!! He'll be coming over Wednesday for dinner…and will be gone for a four day weekend golfing extravaganza.
During our walk, I convinced myself that I am going to run a marathon next year. I need to have some goals and what better to get my mind and body in shape! :) So I did a little research and I am on track for a marathon in 2009! :) Drew's behind me and he's already given me some insight to things, so I have the beginnings of a cheering section…Woohoo!!!
Things are lookin' brighter already! :)
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Disastrous!
Yesterday could not have gone any worse...
Of course, it started out great. I was excited and nervous to meet Denver... He gets into the car and we chat...he leans over and we kiss. It was better than I imagined it would be...and I don't have to say it because he says it - better than he thought. Just like always, saying exactly what the other is thinking. So, we go back to my place and are having a good time. We're in the kitchen chatting, he comes over to me and kisses me for the second time. That was it, we couldn't stop...all I'll say is unbelievable...better than either of us imagined...
So, we are sitting on the couch eating grapes, when my phone starts ringing. I don't answer it the first time, but then it gets to be annoying so I go see who it is because maybe it's important.
Restricted Number pops in the screen. I shouldn't have answered it, but I did. It was her. I hung up and she called back. I answered (stupid, I know!)...she said she was his wife, wanted to know what was going on between Denver and I, that she had hired a private investigator, that she had documentation showing something was going on and that she wanted to talk to me. I told her that she needed to talk to him not me, that I'd been told she is not his wife, that if she continued calling that I was going to get a personal protection order against her (doubt I could but it sounded good at the time) and hung up. And I turned my phone off.
Denver just sat there stunned. He didn't want to talk about it, instead he asked if I could take him back to his dad's. Here I am sucker punched in the gut, just like him, and he didn't want to talk? I was hurt, disappointed, sad, floored, pissed...
Driving him back, I tried to get him to talk. I asked how he was doing. I asked what he was thinking. He's worried that she is going to be calling all of their friends and it will get back to his work. He's afraid of losing his job because about 15 people have been fired for being online at work. I ask if she would really do something like that and he says yes. Somewhere in the conversation, I told him that I wondered what other information she had on me. And I thought that she most likely did a background check on me and Lord knows what else, if she hired a PI...wonderful.
He said he was sorry that I was dragged into the middle of this. Really? No shit, me, too!!!
He asked to be dropped a bit from his dad's so he could walk, try to clear his head and think, so I did. He kissed me good-bye and said he would call later...
I started driving back home and called my sis. I needed to talk to someone. She seemed to think that because he left like that that he is married or something more is going on that I don't know about. That I should have given him the phone. That he should have taken the phone from me and told her to leave me alone... Etc, etc... But being a naive person, being so wrapped up with him emotionally and so very much wanting to believe Denver, I was having a problem listening to her...
I get home and pour a very strong drink and decide to go lay in the sun. I laid out for three hours and four drinks... Fried - in all senses.
So during my basking in the sun, I texted Denver around 3ish...only to be more disappointed. He only said he would call me soon, that he needed time to think and, lastly, whether or not I had talked to her. WTF? You have got to be kidding me. I tell him I need to talk because I don't understand that if it's over with her and he's not married why he left like he did and that I was feeling confused...and he responds like that?! I respond back that I really need to talk and that no she hasn't called.
Around 6:30 I text him again asking whether or not he is going to call and that I don't know what to think and feel stupid. He texts back that he will call around 8pm.
I'm laying on the couch. He calls shortly after 8. He sounded terrible. I ask if he is okay, he says no. He says he needs to get back to CO to straighten things out and will call me ASAP on a secure line...and oh, by the way, have you talked to her? WTF AGAIN! Not only am I not getting answers, he doesn't even ask how I am doing... I say no, why? He says that she texted him that she talked to me and I agreed to tell her everything. I tell him no, she hasn't called again. He says he has to go and hangs up.
You've got to be fucking kidding me... I couldn't believe it.
After the drinks, the sun, the crying, the fretting, the worrying, etc...I had the biggest mother fucking migraine I'd had in about a year! I snorted some Migranal (it's a nasal spray) to get rid of the migraine and went to bed crying...
And ya know what? I don't give a flying fuck if the bitch reads this. If she hired a PI, I'm guessing they have ways to find things like this...but I don't give a damn...she must have all our emails and texts by now, so she already fucking knows everything. In fact, if she calls again, I think I may just talk to her...
And what am I going to say to Denver when he finally calls me, if he calls me. I feel so pissed and confused right now. Although a part of me wants to believe that he is feeling like crap and just can't talk and is completely floored by all of this...naive on my part??? Probably... ::sigh::
I had such high hopes and feel like the world came crashing down around me leaving me in a pile of rubble...
I felt and still feel so many things - pissed, hurt, disappointed, played, used, sad, frustrated, confused, alone...trying not to cry, again, because I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes right now...
Mostly, I need a hug.
I just want a hug and to forget about yesterday which turned out to be a hideously, disastrous day.
Of course, it started out great. I was excited and nervous to meet Denver... He gets into the car and we chat...he leans over and we kiss. It was better than I imagined it would be...and I don't have to say it because he says it - better than he thought. Just like always, saying exactly what the other is thinking. So, we go back to my place and are having a good time. We're in the kitchen chatting, he comes over to me and kisses me for the second time. That was it, we couldn't stop...all I'll say is unbelievable...better than either of us imagined...
So, we are sitting on the couch eating grapes, when my phone starts ringing. I don't answer it the first time, but then it gets to be annoying so I go see who it is because maybe it's important.
Restricted Number pops in the screen. I shouldn't have answered it, but I did. It was her. I hung up and she called back. I answered (stupid, I know!)...she said she was his wife, wanted to know what was going on between Denver and I, that she had hired a private investigator, that she had documentation showing something was going on and that she wanted to talk to me. I told her that she needed to talk to him not me, that I'd been told she is not his wife, that if she continued calling that I was going to get a personal protection order against her (doubt I could but it sounded good at the time) and hung up. And I turned my phone off.
Denver just sat there stunned. He didn't want to talk about it, instead he asked if I could take him back to his dad's. Here I am sucker punched in the gut, just like him, and he didn't want to talk? I was hurt, disappointed, sad, floored, pissed...
Driving him back, I tried to get him to talk. I asked how he was doing. I asked what he was thinking. He's worried that she is going to be calling all of their friends and it will get back to his work. He's afraid of losing his job because about 15 people have been fired for being online at work. I ask if she would really do something like that and he says yes. Somewhere in the conversation, I told him that I wondered what other information she had on me. And I thought that she most likely did a background check on me and Lord knows what else, if she hired a PI...wonderful.
He said he was sorry that I was dragged into the middle of this. Really? No shit, me, too!!!
He asked to be dropped a bit from his dad's so he could walk, try to clear his head and think, so I did. He kissed me good-bye and said he would call later...
I started driving back home and called my sis. I needed to talk to someone. She seemed to think that because he left like that that he is married or something more is going on that I don't know about. That I should have given him the phone. That he should have taken the phone from me and told her to leave me alone... Etc, etc... But being a naive person, being so wrapped up with him emotionally and so very much wanting to believe Denver, I was having a problem listening to her...
I get home and pour a very strong drink and decide to go lay in the sun. I laid out for three hours and four drinks... Fried - in all senses.
So during my basking in the sun, I texted Denver around 3ish...only to be more disappointed. He only said he would call me soon, that he needed time to think and, lastly, whether or not I had talked to her. WTF? You have got to be kidding me. I tell him I need to talk because I don't understand that if it's over with her and he's not married why he left like he did and that I was feeling confused...and he responds like that?! I respond back that I really need to talk and that no she hasn't called.
Around 6:30 I text him again asking whether or not he is going to call and that I don't know what to think and feel stupid. He texts back that he will call around 8pm.
I'm laying on the couch. He calls shortly after 8. He sounded terrible. I ask if he is okay, he says no. He says he needs to get back to CO to straighten things out and will call me ASAP on a secure line...and oh, by the way, have you talked to her? WTF AGAIN! Not only am I not getting answers, he doesn't even ask how I am doing... I say no, why? He says that she texted him that she talked to me and I agreed to tell her everything. I tell him no, she hasn't called again. He says he has to go and hangs up.
You've got to be fucking kidding me... I couldn't believe it.
After the drinks, the sun, the crying, the fretting, the worrying, etc...I had the biggest mother fucking migraine I'd had in about a year! I snorted some Migranal (it's a nasal spray) to get rid of the migraine and went to bed crying...
And ya know what? I don't give a flying fuck if the bitch reads this. If she hired a PI, I'm guessing they have ways to find things like this...but I don't give a damn...she must have all our emails and texts by now, so she already fucking knows everything. In fact, if she calls again, I think I may just talk to her...
And what am I going to say to Denver when he finally calls me, if he calls me. I feel so pissed and confused right now. Although a part of me wants to believe that he is feeling like crap and just can't talk and is completely floored by all of this...naive on my part??? Probably... ::sigh::
I had such high hopes and feel like the world came crashing down around me leaving me in a pile of rubble...
I felt and still feel so many things - pissed, hurt, disappointed, played, used, sad, frustrated, confused, alone...trying not to cry, again, because I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes right now...
Mostly, I need a hug.
I just want a hug and to forget about yesterday which turned out to be a hideously, disastrous day.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Drama...who needs it???
So last night, I laid low and hung out with the doggies...
Around 10ish I texted Denver and he texted back that he had something to tell me after talking with his brother.
I get a restricted call sometime around 1 a.m. . . . I've been getting a lot of restricted calls as of late... Any who, the call went something like this: I answered and a woman asked if Brian was there. I thought of McD and said, no, no Brian here. She asked if I was sure. I said yes. I asked if she was calling my number a lot. She asked if my number was xxx-xxx-xxxY. All the numbers were correct except the last one. I told her no, that wasn't the number and hung up. (Now I'm thinking that the order of things may have been a bit different...I can't recall, too groggy.) I thought that was odd and almost called the number as soon as I hung up.
Around 3:30 a.m. I get a text from Denver. He asks if I'm up and can he call. Duh, you just woke me up! LOL!!! So we talk and he tells me that his brother told Denver that his whatever she is has been calling his brother's wives asking what is going on with him (Denver), that she hired a private investigator and that she had some information for him when he got back that he wasn't going to be happy about. I think about Drew, but didn't think it was the right time to tell him and decide to tell him when I see him tomorrow. I tell him about the restricted calls and the conversation that I had with the woman who called. We talk a little longer and at the end I tell him that I'm going to call the number to see if there is a Brian there. I call the number and it goes to a woman's voicemail (just tried the number again and voicemail)...no Brian there. I text Denver that it wasn't a Brian and oh well we can talk about it more later today, x o, hope he sleeps well.
Then I laid awake for an hour...
I'm about ready to text Denver to see what time he wanted to get together cause I feel the need to run a few miles... Seeing I've been up about an hour and a half and have updated my myspace, checked email, am in progress of doing two loads of laundry, folded another load, swept, vacuumed, washed dishes, did a little dusting, cleaned the doggie litter box and now just wrote all this...I have energy to burn!!!!
All I can think is...Drama...Who needs it??? (and part of me thinks I brought it on myself...ugh!)
Around 10ish I texted Denver and he texted back that he had something to tell me after talking with his brother.
I get a restricted call sometime around 1 a.m. . . . I've been getting a lot of restricted calls as of late... Any who, the call went something like this: I answered and a woman asked if Brian was there. I thought of McD and said, no, no Brian here. She asked if I was sure. I said yes. I asked if she was calling my number a lot. She asked if my number was xxx-xxx-xxxY. All the numbers were correct except the last one. I told her no, that wasn't the number and hung up. (Now I'm thinking that the order of things may have been a bit different...I can't recall, too groggy.) I thought that was odd and almost called the number as soon as I hung up.
Around 3:30 a.m. I get a text from Denver. He asks if I'm up and can he call. Duh, you just woke me up! LOL!!! So we talk and he tells me that his brother told Denver that his whatever she is has been calling his brother's wives asking what is going on with him (Denver), that she hired a private investigator and that she had some information for him when he got back that he wasn't going to be happy about. I think about Drew, but didn't think it was the right time to tell him and decide to tell him when I see him tomorrow. I tell him about the restricted calls and the conversation that I had with the woman who called. We talk a little longer and at the end I tell him that I'm going to call the number to see if there is a Brian there. I call the number and it goes to a woman's voicemail (just tried the number again and voicemail)...no Brian there. I text Denver that it wasn't a Brian and oh well we can talk about it more later today, x o, hope he sleeps well.
Then I laid awake for an hour...
I'm about ready to text Denver to see what time he wanted to get together cause I feel the need to run a few miles... Seeing I've been up about an hour and a half and have updated my myspace, checked email, am in progress of doing two loads of laundry, folded another load, swept, vacuumed, washed dishes, did a little dusting, cleaned the doggie litter box and now just wrote all this...I have energy to burn!!!!
All I can think is...Drama...Who needs it??? (and part of me thinks I brought it on myself...ugh!)
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Finding it Difficult to Concentrate...
...on anything besides Drew and Denver (Can't refer to him by name because it's so uncommon and easily searchable!)...
I've been in such a melancholy mood today.
Monday evening Drew came over for dinner and then Tuesday when we got up, we went to th Rec. Center again. Did I mention that Drew has a toothbrush in my toothbrush holder?!?! How the hell did that happen?! LOL!!! After working out we laid out for a while afterwards. He asked if I would go with him to watch him do an open water swim and I said okay. So, I got up early, went to the store for beer and pretzels... Drew picked me up around 7:45 a.m. and we went out to Kensington Park. Drew did his 4 mile open water swim while I laid on the blanket sunning myself, singing along to Kid Rock and did a couple word finds... We then laid out a bit more, Drew fished...it was very relaxing and we had a great time together...as always... Afterwards, we went out for lunch - yummy and filling! Drew dropped me at my place and said he would come back around 7 p.m. He left without so much as a kiss or hug...just like him... So I let my food digest and then went out on a 5.3 mile run, showered and was ready just in time for Drew to arrive. We were going to walk the dogs, Drew loves them!, but it looked like rain, so we stayed in, had some beer and played scrabble, laid around, went to bed...this a.m. we got up and didn't get out of bed until almost 11 a.m.
Last night, I got a text from Denver, three texts to be exact, asking me to text him ASAP. So I texted him back when I fed the dogs at 6 a.m. Then I dreamt about meeting Denver, he was young, like I remember him from 25 years ago... I was running around naked trying to find my phone and freaking out because I was naked and couldn't find my phone...weird! Denver texted back around 10 a.m. that his mom passed away and I texted him after Drew left. I did tell Drew that a friend texted me last night when I got back in bed at 6 a.m. and that his mom passed away when we finally got out of bed.
Denver and I talked briefly today. I think we are going to meet this weekend at some point. I was so sad for him/excited that we were going to meet that I forgot to ask how long he was going to be in town and when he thought we may actually meet - Doh!
Since Drew left and Denver called, I've been so melancholy... All I can think about is the two of them...
Drew because he is here and I think we are both starting to like each other...
Denver because I am sad for him and want to know (BADLY!) whether or not we actually click in person...and because I like him, too...
And both Drew and Denver, because if Denver and I actually do click like I think we will...I have no clue what will happen.
Right now I know that Denver and I are having the same feelings because we've actually talked/written each other about it.
Drew and I really haven't talked and things seem to be going very well, but because Drew isn't touchy/feely/kissy type guy, it's very difficult for me to read how he is feeling. I mean even this morning when he was leaving he really didn't hug me like a boyfriend would hug a girlfriend. Or at least how I think a boyfriend/girlfriend should hug! LOL! But we do talk about everything. He has told me that his friends are asking what's going on with us...that he doesn't bring women around his friends....and he has been doing all of that with me... So... ????
It's been about two months since Drew and I started seeing each other. It's been around three or so months since Denver and I started corresponding and talking.
It's all so confusing to me... I guess I'm not used to the dating scene. I dunno.
Then there's Joe, the cute funny bald buy... He's really nice and we get along great, too. One of his workers saw us out at dinner the other day and apparently mentioned to all of Joe's workers that he was seen out with a "hot chick" Me? A hot chick??? Okay! LOL!! Better than being called an old bag or a pop tart I suppose... ;)
So that's the long and the short of it. I like Drew. I like Denver. And just getting to know Joe. I feel like I'm on an episode of the Bachelorette!
How do people do this dating thing and stay sane? I feel like I'm losing my freakin' mind! Oh, wait, I've already lost it! LOL!!!!
I do know that I want to be sure that I am finding the right man. I do not want to go another year or more of dating one person only to come to the conclusion that he isn't the one...
And with the exception of today...I've been having a lot of fun lately... Even my workout today sucked, no concentration...
Any who, guess I should make some dinner and feed the dogs. I think I'm just going to lay low tonight. I don't think I'd be very good company for my girlfriends, so I'm flyin' solo!
Maybe after I eat I'll feel better...
Turkey Taco Salad - yum - my favorite!!! :)
...and be able to concentrate...
I've been in such a melancholy mood today.
Monday evening Drew came over for dinner and then Tuesday when we got up, we went to th Rec. Center again. Did I mention that Drew has a toothbrush in my toothbrush holder?!?! How the hell did that happen?! LOL!!! After working out we laid out for a while afterwards. He asked if I would go with him to watch him do an open water swim and I said okay. So, I got up early, went to the store for beer and pretzels... Drew picked me up around 7:45 a.m. and we went out to Kensington Park. Drew did his 4 mile open water swim while I laid on the blanket sunning myself, singing along to Kid Rock and did a couple word finds... We then laid out a bit more, Drew fished...it was very relaxing and we had a great time together...as always... Afterwards, we went out for lunch - yummy and filling! Drew dropped me at my place and said he would come back around 7 p.m. He left without so much as a kiss or hug...just like him... So I let my food digest and then went out on a 5.3 mile run, showered and was ready just in time for Drew to arrive. We were going to walk the dogs, Drew loves them!, but it looked like rain, so we stayed in, had some beer and played scrabble, laid around, went to bed...this a.m. we got up and didn't get out of bed until almost 11 a.m.
Last night, I got a text from Denver, three texts to be exact, asking me to text him ASAP. So I texted him back when I fed the dogs at 6 a.m. Then I dreamt about meeting Denver, he was young, like I remember him from 25 years ago... I was running around naked trying to find my phone and freaking out because I was naked and couldn't find my phone...weird! Denver texted back around 10 a.m. that his mom passed away and I texted him after Drew left. I did tell Drew that a friend texted me last night when I got back in bed at 6 a.m. and that his mom passed away when we finally got out of bed.
Denver and I talked briefly today. I think we are going to meet this weekend at some point. I was so sad for him/excited that we were going to meet that I forgot to ask how long he was going to be in town and when he thought we may actually meet - Doh!
Since Drew left and Denver called, I've been so melancholy... All I can think about is the two of them...
Drew because he is here and I think we are both starting to like each other...
Denver because I am sad for him and want to know (BADLY!) whether or not we actually click in person...and because I like him, too...
And both Drew and Denver, because if Denver and I actually do click like I think we will...I have no clue what will happen.
Right now I know that Denver and I are having the same feelings because we've actually talked/written each other about it.
Drew and I really haven't talked and things seem to be going very well, but because Drew isn't touchy/feely/kissy type guy, it's very difficult for me to read how he is feeling. I mean even this morning when he was leaving he really didn't hug me like a boyfriend would hug a girlfriend. Or at least how I think a boyfriend/girlfriend should hug! LOL! But we do talk about everything. He has told me that his friends are asking what's going on with us...that he doesn't bring women around his friends....and he has been doing all of that with me... So... ????
It's been about two months since Drew and I started seeing each other. It's been around three or so months since Denver and I started corresponding and talking.
It's all so confusing to me... I guess I'm not used to the dating scene. I dunno.
Then there's Joe, the cute funny bald buy... He's really nice and we get along great, too. One of his workers saw us out at dinner the other day and apparently mentioned to all of Joe's workers that he was seen out with a "hot chick" Me? A hot chick??? Okay! LOL!! Better than being called an old bag or a pop tart I suppose... ;)
So that's the long and the short of it. I like Drew. I like Denver. And just getting to know Joe. I feel like I'm on an episode of the Bachelorette!
How do people do this dating thing and stay sane? I feel like I'm losing my freakin' mind! Oh, wait, I've already lost it! LOL!!!!
I do know that I want to be sure that I am finding the right man. I do not want to go another year or more of dating one person only to come to the conclusion that he isn't the one...
And with the exception of today...I've been having a lot of fun lately... Even my workout today sucked, no concentration...
Any who, guess I should make some dinner and feed the dogs. I think I'm just going to lay low tonight. I don't think I'd be very good company for my girlfriends, so I'm flyin' solo!
Maybe after I eat I'll feel better...
Turkey Taco Salad - yum - my favorite!!! :)
...and be able to concentrate...
Unexpected Chain of Events
Denver's mom passed away last night. He's been in town since yesterday. All I know about her death is that she had a clot in an artery...
How very sad... I wish I could be there for him... But given the circumstances, I will probably only see him for a few hours this trip.
Over the last couple weeks he broke off his relationship with the woman he was/is living with. I think he is selling her the house. Given the timing, it would not be appropriate for me to make any sort of appearance.
I just talked to him - he's staying with his brother and will be coming down this way at some point...and it looks like we are going to meet in person while he's here...
I wish the circumstances were different.
I feel so badly for him and his family...such a loss...
On one hand, I feel so sad for him/his family; yet, on the other, I'm excited to be finally meeting him...
Life is filled with unexpected chains of events...
How very sad... I wish I could be there for him... But given the circumstances, I will probably only see him for a few hours this trip.
Over the last couple weeks he broke off his relationship with the woman he was/is living with. I think he is selling her the house. Given the timing, it would not be appropriate for me to make any sort of appearance.
I just talked to him - he's staying with his brother and will be coming down this way at some point...and it looks like we are going to meet in person while he's here...
I wish the circumstances were different.
I feel so badly for him and his family...such a loss...
On one hand, I feel so sad for him/his family; yet, on the other, I'm excited to be finally meeting him...
Life is filled with unexpected chains of events...
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