Dear Diary...

Not Lost

2010-02-11T22:39:00.006-05:00

I surely thought that new guy was a lost cause...that I had blown it last weekend... Seems I was wrong...or rather more realistically that Gigi had taken over and made me a complete lunatic for a day or so.

Talked with him last night and tonight.

Last night seemed like he would be hanging out with his daughter all weekend...and I was going to be all wrapped up in running - coaching Saturday and a race Sunday.

Tonight, after a little more inquiry and prodding on my part, he asked if I wanted to come hang out with them Saturday...I said sure, why not, but I'd need to shower when I got there. ;P So he'll leave the garage thingy hidden somewhere for me and when I get done with my coaching and run Saturday, I'll swing by, shower and spend the day with him and his daughter.

Maybe he just needs me to encourage him and let him know that I'm interested... Although I'm not sure why. He's a good looking guy. Very outgoing. Appears to have it together (although we all know that could be an act....just look at me! LOL!!!!) But for some reason I get the feeling that he's not very secure with himself...I mean, he's half alluded to it himself... Or maybe he just likes to hear words of affirmation...where as I like to have quality time... I dunno...just thinkin'...

::sigh:: I want to kiss him...again... Last weekend, he said when we kissed it was like we were dancing... ::bigger, more wistful sigh::

It seems that when we give up on things is when we are most surprised that all is not lost after all...

My Prince

2010-02-09T22:58:00.003-05:00

Had a great run on the hamster wheel today... 3 miles in about 25 minutes then sprints around the track for 10 - 15 minutes. :) Probably a total of 3.75 miles if not more. Not bad...given I haven't been all that motivated to run lately.

Haven't heard from my man today...seen him online a few minutes ago, but he clicked right back out. That's okay with me because if it was meant to be, he'll call... And if it wasn't...that's okay, too, because there are more fish in the sea! (No fisherman pun intended for those of you who know the whole story!)

Looks like I'll be running four miles tomorrow and three on Thursday after I get some highlights! :) Mahogany and light brown! Time for a change! :)

Friday I'm going to the show with a friend...maybe more. I sort of went out with him a couple summers ago...we shall see. I'm not going to spend my time pining for someone...gotta get out there and mingle to find the "right" one! :)

Saturday...no real plans except dog walking in the morning.

Sunday I have a four mile race...I'm hoping to place in the top three of my age group. Fingers and toes crossed!!!! Plus, I ordered some insulated compression tights that should arrive tomorrow. WooHoo!!!! Can't wait to try them out! :) My regular compression pants shaved 20ish seconds per minute off of my time...so I'm completely geeked about getting these for the race! :)

I've been talking, a lot actually, with this guy I went to high school with. He's going through a divorce right now and we've been having some really good, long talks. I've been giving him some tips and he's been taking them and using them with success! Guess all the shit I've gone through Jaba with hasn't been for nothing after all... ;P And the conversation just flows naturally, so that's good.

Not sure why but the Cinderella song - Someday my Prince will come - just popped into my head.

So with that positive note, I think I'm going to head off to bed and perhaps I'll dream about my prince...whomever that may be!!!!

Bring It

2010-02-09T08:43:00.001-05:00

Yupper...it is what it is...can't change anything.

I just need to relax and go with it. If things work out with this person or that person...so be it. If not, then it wasn't meant to be and it's time to move on.

Today is a new day and I'm ready (I think) to take on the world!

Bring it!!!!

Sabotage

2010-02-08T22:19:00.004-05:00

I think I know what I want. I'm not afraid to go after it. But once I have it...I freeze. I stand there paralyzed. Like a deer in headlights.

Do I think I'm not worthy? Do I think I'm not meant to be happy? Am I afraid to grasp on and not let go, but am so much more afraid of being hurt that I push what I find away? Do I really have to be in complete control of everything? Why do I have to micro-analyze and nit pick everything? Why can't I see the good in things?

Long story short...

I spent the weekend with the new man... And fucking freaked out.

A friend of mine says that it's because the events weren't on my terms and my way and it was completely out of my control.

All of which are true - I didn't have any control. And I am a control freak.

I could also see myself falling easily into his life... And that scares the shit out of me.

I've lost myself in too many a man's life...and transformed myself to be what would be good for him and for us to work. I don't want that to happen again.

But where is the happy medium? There has to be some sort of center ground, right?

The older I get, the more guarded I seem to get. The bigger and thicker the wall gets around my heart...

When I take a step back and look at things from the outside...it really was a good weekend. From what I've seen, he's a good man and a good dad. His daughter is so cute and sweet.

I'm just not sure why I do or think the things I do.

Sometimes I wonder if I sabotage myself.

Long Time Update

2010-02-03T15:53:00.001-05:00

Oh boy...so much to write about....

I've had a lot going on the last little while.

I can't even remember the last thing I wrote about!

Let's see, on the running front - I've been back at it and pretty much over the groin/adductor injury. Doing 15 - 20 miles per week now, so that's good. I was planning on doing a run Super Bowl Sunday, but I'm just not race ready. There's a 4 miler on Valentine's Day that I want to do...but still a little leery about signing up for that one, too...not to mention the new MAN! Whoop, whoop! Oh, I'm planning a 6 miler when I'm down visiting my girlfriend in Atlanta. As long as I stay injury free, I'll be running a 1/2 Marathon in April! Was thinking about doing the Cleveland Marathon in May, but now I'm thinking that's just too soon to log so many miles especially since I've been having some lingering problems with my hip/leg. Soooo...Chicago in October may be my next Marathon!

As for the dating front...(or rear! LOL!!!)...long story about how it's all come about, but I've met someone new and have started dating again! :) He's... I hate to even say anything good and have it all go to hell...because, you know, that's the sort of shit ass luck I have when it comes to men. Any who, he's really attractive, funny, outgoing and completely out there! I love it! And he actually talks to me! Boy, can that man talk! LOL!!! Date number four will consist of ice fishing, a movie or something and then Super Bowl party at his house...OMG, a 24+ hour date! Hope he can put up with me for that long!

Ah well...gotta run...literally!

Here and Now

2010-01-07T12:48:00.001-05:00

OMG, trying to get back into the groove of things...and man, it's rough!

It's been 19, yes, 19 days of no running. I think I maybe blown out of the water for the Martian Marathon - but then there's always the half marathon!!!! And Chicago Marathon registration opens February 1st! Woohoo!!!! Chi-town bound! :)

I WILL qualify for Boston this year. I most certainly WILL! :)

This stupid adductor injury is still here and I can still feel it when I jog. Not that I've been out and about...but just a 10 ft jog to test things out. Ow. But the Ow keeps getting smaller and I've been doing lots of stretches here in my office chair! ;P

Speaking of work, this whole work thing is for the birds. Yes, yes, I'm thankful for my job....but I really did a number on myself over the holiday break. I stayed up late and got up late. My entire schedule is out of whack. Even the dogs are messed up because of it. Next week will be easier, I'm certain of it! :)

I have been getting quite a bit done on the reunion. I posted pics from my yearbooks. I've updated my contact info file. I've found a few more people. Sent out a ton of emails. Made some phone calls. Blah, blah, blah... It's all been extremely time consuming. And I'm currently canvassing for Promotion Team volunteers - you know, to help find classmates. I can't do it all (even though I wish I could!).

So while I haven't really written in a while...not a whole lot to report on...

Just pluggin' along living in the Happily Here and Now!

If I can't run....

2009-12-30T16:06:00.003-05:00

If I can't run, I'll....

Do some laundry

Vacuum for the umteenth time

Work on the reunion for three or four hours this morning - post pics on facebook and then tag approximately 300 pictures, update contacts list, make some phone calls

Drive with my daughter over to her boyfriend's (she drove - and is getting better!)

Bake - 11 ginormous cookies (5 - 6" across!) and two pans of milk chocolate butterscotch cookie bars (going to be seeing some family and friends...gotta have treats to give away!)

Cook dinner - rice, veggie and chicken bake

Drink some red wine!

Lots of things to do besides run! ;)

BQ

2009-12-29T22:32:00.003-05:00

Ohhhhhh to BQ. (That would be Boston Qualify.)

To be able to run the Boston Marathon, one has to qualify for it. My age range qualifying time is 3:50:59...which would equate to a 8:46m/pace. Which means I'd have to cut 18 minutes off of my time based on my first marathon.

I have been running faster with the cooler weather on my training runs. And I've been PRing (setting personal records) at the last two 5k races I've ran. I mean, at my last 5k race at the beginning December, I ran close to 50 seconds faster per minute than I did back in July...and 40 seconds faster per minute than I did in August, 10 seconds faster per minute than I did in November... The colder it gets, the faster I seem to run.

So it could be possible...

If this injury clears up and I continue my training, without any big hiccups - fingers crossed!, for the Martian Marathon in April...maybe...just maybe...

I'll BQ.

(and if not, I'll be happy just finishing!)

Another Day, No Run

2009-12-28T22:42:00.004-05:00

Yup, you got that right...another day gone by and we have day seven of no running.

This morning I got up and worked a little more on the reunion contact list. My 25 Year High School Reunion will be here in just 8 short months. And I'm coordinating the entire thing! I've found about 175 people...just 200ish more to go! LOL!!! Okay, not so funny. I really need to get in gear. Need to start collecting money soon, too. Ugh. Someone tell my why I volunteered to do this???

I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon cleaning out my computer cabinet - that would be two or three hours of cleaning! I had stuff I had completely forgotten about. Some stuff I'm glad I found - like my daughter's birth certificate! Thought I had lost that for sure. Other stuff I'm not so glad I had to go through - binders and binders of old Friend of the Court papers, divorce papers, old pictures and cards... Why the heck did I keep all that crap???? Should I mention the bag of dog toys and the bag of partially chewed dog bones I pulled off of one, yes, one, shelf?! Oy!

After cleaning, I went out and shoveled the snow. Not too bad. Didn't take long. But I really think I need to work on my core muscles. My back...weak! Last year when I was in the gym lifting, no problems...this year not quite the case. Any who... When I was shoveling I saw some Yaktrak tracks in the snow on my sidewalk! So, I get done and do a little jog on the sidewalk to test out the ole adductor. Not good. I could still feel it a little bit. If I hadn't felt anything, I would have definitely gone for a run. But I'm not going to push it. I know I can get back to it relatively quickly. Plus, I have a race coming up...so wanna be good for the 4 miler on New Years Eve! :)

I miss my daily run. It's my daily therapy. I run out the bad. I run to celebrate the good. I run to see how far I can push myself. I run for others. And I run to just run for the fun of running!

But alas, it was another day and no run.
But maybe tomorrow!

Me

2009-12-27T23:29:00.003-05:00

Obviously not ready to date yet.

I am not in a "man loving" place right now.

Definitely not in a very trusting place.

And I don't want to latch on to anyone either...there is a pattern of me doing this.

Latching and not trusting do not make a good mix.

I'm just not ready...and that's okay.

I'm beginning to like being with me! :)

Brooks who?

2009-12-26T10:38:00.004-05:00

Stupid, stupid, stupid adductor pull/strain!!!!! My chiropractor said it was some specific muscle or tendon, but I forget, and when she rubbed on it...Yowie!!!! I thought I was going to hit the ceiling. She told me to massage it, but I can't find the sore spot. And I don't have anyone to try and find it for me. Double shucksers! ;)

I am not happy about not running.

I keep checking the weather, but then think who cares...cause I can't run! No need to know what the temp is or which way the wind is blowing if I'm not going to gear up to head outside for a run.

Not to mention trying to temper my food and drink intake. What a pain in the hinney! Literally! I'm not used to paying attention...so I've been eating away. Oink! Oink! LOL!!!

...now where are my favorite yoga pants...

My poor Brooks running shoes...they sure are being neglected. They are just sitting in their spot in my room...a constant reminder of running neglect.

Speaking of neglect, there are my dogs. They are going nuts! Imagine two crazy Siberian Huskies not being walked for five days. Since they are attention mongers as it is...it's gotten 100 times worse. I can't sit at the computer without one of them nosing me to be petted. Oy!

If this thing doesn't heal soon, I'm going to be walking by my running shoes and thinking...

...Brooks who???

The Greatest Gift

2009-12-25T10:50:00.003-05:00

To me, the greatest gift one could give is themselves - their time, caring, support and encouragement, their heart, lending an ear or shoulder when needed, a special moment shared here and there...just being there and being a true friend.

My wish to you:

May the season fill your heart with love,

warmth,

happiness

and hope

today

and each day throughout the year.

Christmas Eve Fortune

2009-12-24T21:18:00.002-05:00

"Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing" in bed.

Today, at my Aunt's, we all had to read our Christmas Fortune out of a fortune cookie and add "in bed" to it.

Mine is pretty fitting, huh?

Now I just need to find someone to help me make the fortune come true!!!!

(And not by selling myself either - I know you were thinking that Richard!)

Scroogey Sue Grinch

2009-12-24T12:59:00.003-05:00

Yupper...that's me...

Waiting for either Cindy Loo Hoo to come warm my heart or the three Ghosts of Christmas to show me how F-ed up past Christmases have been, what a sorry ass I am this year and how much I have to look forward to! ;P

How's that for a great spirit of the season?

Grumpy

2009-12-23T19:16:00.002-05:00

This explains a lot ---> “Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” Henry Ward Beecher Then again, I think I expect too much.

Argh, I am in a shitty ass mood today.

I am not a fan of the holidays. Everyone putting on a happy face and pretending everything is perfect and there isn't a care in the world...when five minutes before they were probably cussing someone out in the store, pushing them out of the way, grabbing the last ___ out of some grandma's hand, honking at the slow driver and flipping them off... Fake! It's all fake!!!!!!!

Stupid adductor muscle strain. A freakin' week of no running.

Sent two emails to my friend in LA with no response. I'm thinking of cancelling the trip out there. I don't need the drama or the headache or the games! Men! Ugh!

Top that off with horrible PMS mood swings exacerbated by perimenopause...

Dreading going to my Aunt's house tomorrow...booze is the only thing that will keep me sane!

Add to that two whiney dogs who act like they never get petted or any attention what-so-ever...

...is making for one grumpy ass Sue!!!!!

Unexpected Spice

2009-12-22T21:15:00.004-05:00

Hmmmmm...the unexpected.

Unexpected injury. Unexpected phone calls. Unexpected dreams. Unexpected spills. Unexpected....well, lots of things.

My adductor muscle is feeling better than it did this afternoon. Maybe it was just overuse... ::fingers crossed!!!!:: We'll see how it feels tomorrow. I'm gonna take tomorrow off from running, too, just to play it safe.

The other day I talked to Jaba. It was a very civil conversation. A 20 minute conversation about a lot of different things. Part of me is happy we talked civilly...another part of me is wondering what he has lurking up his sleeve.

The other night I dreamt I nearly missed a car crash and drove my car off the road...didn't get hurt. Same night later in the dream or perhaps a different dream I dreamt I rode my bicycle off of the side of a 20 - 30 ft cliff and sort of floated down...didn't get hurt at all.

Shit, I'm spilling stuff all the time. I suppose that's not so unexpected after all! LOL!!!

This passed weekend I saw a sawed off blurry pic of me in someones singles profile. Nice and tacky! Ah well... Initially I was pissed off...now I could give two shits. Time to move on to bigger and better things. I deserve it damn it!

Unexpected migraine Saturday night. Ugh.

Unexpected good time Sunday...and sort of expected visit from him at work today. Nice to see him since he'll be gone on vacation and away for work until Mid-January-ish. Completely unexpected that I enjoy spending time with him and talking with him.

Unexpected stuff with my daughter this evening...screwing up my evening plans...

Unexpected can be good and unexpected can be bad...

Overall, I'd have to say that sometimes we need the unexpected...it adds spice to what could be a rather mundane life!

Adductor Melt Down

2009-12-22T13:21:00.001-05:00

OMG, I am freaking out!

Last night during my run, my left adductor muscles (groin) were bothering me. But I just ran through it. The pain would come and go. I really wasn't paying too much attention to it - too busy dodging cars and ice since the sidewalks were too dangerous to run on! Today...I can feel it when I walk! Twinge! Twinge! Twinge! And it seems to be getting worse as time goes on today. ARGH!!!!

I am not happy about this at all!!!!

Apparently, it takes anywhere from 2 - 6 weeks for healing. WTF?

I mean, WTF am I supposed to do without running?????

Running is the only constant thing in my life right now and without running...without all my running highs...without all my running endorphins...without all my running off of all the cookies and goodies...combined with the perimenopause...

AHHHHHH!!!!!!

Melt down!

Please let me only down and out for a couple days...I NEED to run. :(

Let Me Off!!!!

2009-12-21T21:36:00.003-05:00

Wow. What a difference a day makes. I feel like an emotional train wreck right now. I swear it must have something to do with perimenopause. Unreal. I mean, the week before has always been a wild emotional rollercoaster of an ordeal. But now...it's just plain unbearable.

Weekend was good except for the migraine on Saturday. (hmmmm...I got one a month ago, oh lord, this sounds perimenpausal, too, now that I think about it. UGH!)

Today, I got home from work, put on my running gear and ran 4.67 miles outside. It was a great run. I felt awesome and elated - you know, the runner's high! - and was dancing and singing around the house after I got home. Two or three hours later...balling my eyes out.

Now here I sit pondering WTF is going on. And searching the web! LOL!!!

Sure enough everything I've been experiencing...perimenopause... Hot flashes (night sweats), irregular periods, mood swings, difficulty sleeping, worsening PMS, fuzzy thinking, breast pain, unwanted hair growth, stiffness/joint pain (although this could be running induced), craving sweets/carbs, weight gain (yes, even with all the running, I've gained weight)...

I just want this torrid ride to stop...

Someone please let me off!!!!

Dear Richard...

2009-12-21T00:33:00.004-05:00

Since this is how you keep tabs on me....

Had a fab time on my date with SpongeBob (long story) tonight!

As you know, we went ice skating (I finally found the right place!!!) and then out for a bite to eat...didn't get home until ~11! Once I got home, I had to bake some cheesey potatoes for my potluck at work tomorrow, which just came out of the oven, and now I'm off to bed.

Just thought I'd let you and the rest of the world know! :)

(sorry, I couldn't resist! LOL!!!!)

Hmmmm...

2009-12-17T23:00:00.004-05:00

Yeah.... Hmmm...

Things that make you go hmmmm... Like men that make you go hmmmm... Where the heck are they????? OMG, I'm dieing over here! I'm in my 40's! The prime of my life! I need a cub and quick! LOL!!!

Seriously though...things have been going along. I've been doing pretty good on my own. Ya know...the single life.

I've been doing a lot of running. Yes, even in the cold Michigan weather. Even in the negative wind chill weather. Even in the 30 mph gusting wind weather.... I'll be running 3-4 tomorrow and then 9 - 12 this weekend. Gotta keep going to be ready for the Martian Marathon so I can qualify for BOSTON!!!!

Any who...this isn't about running. So....

I went out tonight... It was okay. No big spark. No this is the one. No I can't wait to see him again.

I think I have a date on Sunday. Not sure if it's a real date or not...it's a long story. But I sure am looking forward to it! I've known this guy at work for a few years and we are both single now... So we're doing something on Sunday...tbd. I'll let ya know how it goes!

I dunno. I'm not ready to get involved...but I feel like I want someone around.

I don't mind being alone...but I miss having someone in my life.

I keep going back and forth.

I know I'm not mentally ready to be in a relationship right now.

But...

Maybe I just need a good man to make me go....

Hmmmmm... ;)

Hee, hee, hee!

Crazy Runner Chick!

2009-12-14T11:05:00.001-05:00

Not cold (35*F), nor wind, nor drizzle (yes, drizzle for most of the run), nor black ice...not to mention dreariness/lack of sun will keep me from my run!

That was Sunday's run ---> 8.4 miles dodging black ice in the drizzly dreary weather. And why is it I only saw male runners on the road/path yesterday???? Hmmm…one was pretty cute! Alas, I can't tackle all the men I see running down Hines Drive!

Last Thursday I ran 3.48 miles in 15*F (feels like -2*F) with 39mph winds before a Christmas Party. Wow, that was cold and rough! I need some better gloves for that kind of weather…for sure! Saturday I ran a quick 6.5 miles.

I'm thinking I actually like this winter weather running! :) I know I like it better than running in the summer heat!

I do want to get a pair of compression tights, but at ~$100 a pop…I'm gonna have to wait until after the holidays. Ohhhh and not to mention the new Brooks Defyance 3 are out now!!!! I'm going to have to go test them out at a running shoe store! And I have a feeling that I'm gonna wanna pair of those, too! Drats...mo money, mo money, mo money! You'd think running would be relatively inexpensive...but NO! Argh! LOL!!!!!

Sheesh, today is a day of rest…and all I can think about is running!

I am a Crazy Runner Chick!!!!

Slacker!

2009-12-09T20:18:00.005-05:00

Wow...can't believe it's been a week since I've written last...

So last Saturday a.m., I ran a 5K Jingle Bell run and ran my fastest time ever! 23:35 overall which is a 7:36/m pace!!!! WoooHooo!!!! Should I mention it was only 21* F????

I have to admit that I'm getting tired of going to these races alone. I would love to find a running buddy who shares my passion and tromps about with me at all these things. I see everyone around me with a group or friend...and then I start feeling lonely... Not to mention no one at the finish to share my personal victories.

Sunday I stopped into Beyond Reality and got myself a new tattoo!!! Completely impulsive and I had only planned on getting suggestions for a design...but then decided to go for it! She's a Runner Girl to celebrate finishing my first marathon (26.2 miles).

Last night, I ran in my first snow of the year. It was soooo exhilarating! Okay, so it was only flurries, but enough so that the flakes were flying up my nose. Ick!

My next race is on New Year's Eve...a four miler... I decided I'm done with dating, done with the drama...just done...with everything to do with men for a while....so, why not race on New Year's Eve?!?!?! LOL!!!

The Martian Marathon is in April 2010...18 weeks away. My training started this week and out of the shoot it's is pretty much the same distances I've been running the past four or five weeks, so I should be fine. I've been considering adding some speed training and trying to better my time so that I can qualify for BOSTON! Wow...to BQ (Boston Qualify)... A dream... A goal... All I need to do is better my marathon time by 18 minutes. Yup, that's all! LOL!!! ;P Technically, if I better the last five miles time - that would shave off 8ish minutes...then it's just 10! ;)

Got my Yaktraks in the mail today! Which means no worries for ice and snow! But I do want to get a pair of CW-X compression insulator tights. At $100 a piece, I'm gonna have to wait until after Christmas. I bought this killer Brooks jacket...wore it last night...worth every penny of $150!

What else....

Work is super crazy busy. Very thankful for my job...but very much looking forward to Christmas Break.

Christmas... I'm a humbug. I have a two foot tree on my mantel. That's about it for decoration. Really not in the spirit of things this year... I'm thankful and content...but seem a bit unsettled.

Really need to get back working on the reunion... July will be here before I know it. I still have to find a couple hundred people...ugh.

I think that's about it for now...

Gotta do a little better at posting more often and not being such a slacker! ;P

Here Waiting.

2009-12-02T22:20:00.004-05:00

I have so much I want to say, but I'm not going to out of respect for not splashing Paul's life all over my blog. Let's just say that I'm done...it's over...and good-bye.

No more looking.

No more searching.

No more trying to make things work.

No more time spent on BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEPERS! ;D

If love wants to find me...I'll be here waiting...

Last Post for the Month

2009-11-30T23:04:00.003-05:00

Phew...Finally! LOL!!!

Rough wake up this a.m. after being off for four days....and a long day at work....followed by a 5 mile run in 38*F (feels like 33*F) weather....

What more could a girl want than a pair of Brooks and the open road????

...and that, my friends, is it for the month of the November.

One more...

2009-11-29T23:03:00.002-05:00

post until the end of National Bloggers Posting month...

Ugh. Can't wait. Right now I feel compelled to post even if it's gibberish.

Ran 5 miles this a.m. and then went and finished cleaning my grandma's house. Now her house is cleaner than mine! Oy! LOL!!!

Now to find the time to clean mine...

No running tomorrow...have to get the leaves done. There are just clumps here and there, but need to get them up before the snow!

Ah well...one more post and then...back to normal!

Draining

2009-11-28T23:45:00.000-05:00

What an emotionally draining day.

Too tired to write about it now...

Grandparents, Paul, just lots of things.

Detroit Turkey Trot 10K

2009-11-27T10:24:00.007-05:00

Gobble, Gobble!!!!!

Got up at 5:45 a.m. to pouring rain and 43* F...and dreading the 10k run through Detroit... I wear my old running shoes because I don't want to get the newer ones soggy and pack three changes of clothes to take with me. I don't want to be waiting around or driving home in soggy clothes.

My girlfriend, C, picks me up shortly after 6 a.m. and we head into the D. (That would be the wonderful city of Detroit!) As we're driving, the closer we get to the D, the more it looks like it hasn't even rained! So I'm thinking I must have a storm cloud over my house! LOL!!!

We get downtown and I have a parking pass for Cobo Garage, so we wait in a long, long line of cars. It was worth it because we just had a short jaunt from the car to the inside of Cobo. We used the restroom and met up with my manager and his son. Just so happens my manager has a crush on C and was paging her to meet up!

We stretch a bit and chat and before we know it, it's time to head over toward the start line. We follow the masses of people.

We arrive to the start area, but are no where near the start line. I'm worried because I was wanting to make good time and there were thousands, literally, in front of us. So, they are chatting and all I can do is think about everyone in front of us...while jumping up and down to stay warm and not tighten up.

You'd think with 12,000+ people registered, some with dogs and strollers, that they would have had us line up by time - you know with the fastest in the front and the slower folks in the back...but no such luck.

It probably took us a good two or three minutes to actually reach the start line... I said see ya later to my friends and off I went.

What a disaster! I weaved in and out of people for the first three miles. It was exhausting! There were a couple of abandoned cars in the road; at which point I followed a couple faster runners up onto the sidewalk. Then it was more weaving around walkers, joggers, strollers...all while watching for potholes in the road. I was ticked off! And even though I was ticked, I did say "sorry", "sorry", "sorry" every time I squeezed passed someone. It's just common courtesy~

Finally, a little past mile three, things cleared up and I was able to run somewhat without weaving. Around that time, there was this girl, younger than me, in pink, who was not running in a straight line. One of my pet peeves...straight line people! I eventually got around her and then it was like the two of us were racing. She would pass me, I would pass her, we would be running neck-in-neck...

About mile five, we had a slight hill to go up and off I zoom past her... Hee, hee, hee... Us runners do that. Find someone in front of us and pick them off... Oh that person up there...I'm gonna pass him/her! Then pick off another one. ;)

This girl in the pink, she was a good runner and I was thankful that we were "racing" each other. Made me go a bit faster!

Right before mile 6 we had to go through this tunnel...it was pretty cool. After we get out...who's next to me but the girl in the pink. Now we can see the finish line and we both pour it on. All I can think is...there is no way this young whipper snapper is gonna beat me. Zooooom! Ha! I beat her! ;P It's the little things like that which make a race fun...well, at least for me. If I would have seen her after I stopped, I would have told her - good run and thanks for the race! :) Alas, I didn't see her.

Now I am on the hunt for some water... Go inside Cobo...mass confusion. People everywhere... No water to be found. Finally, I spot this guy carrying a carton of water...ATTACK! I grab a water and down it... Still thirsty. Spot another guy...Attack (smaller attack, less thirsty!). The line for food was ridiculously long. I didn't even get a banana or a bagel or anything!

I was really disappointed because I was looking forward to my first 10k and the Turkey Trot itself. Very, very poorly organized. Unless they make changes and document them, I will not be doing the Detroit Turkey Trot again.

Although...even with all the weaving and my old shoes, I did make good time!

As of now, these are my results...
Distance 10K
Clock Time 54:01
Chip Time 51:47
Pace 8:10
Age Division Place 24 / 276
Split 31:45 (a little before mile 4)
Female Runner Place 253 / 3098

Next race....Jingle Bell 5K on December 5th!

Edited to add pics I found online! LOL!!!!

I'm the blurry girl in blue in the background...I must have been looking at the girl in pink thinking...Where the 'f' did she come from?! LOL!!!

Here's the chick in pink...my blue arm next to her! LOL!!!!

Happy Turkey Day

2009-11-26T23:28:00.002-05:00

Gobble, Gobble!!!!

Will be writing a novel of an entry tomorrow... ;)

Coming Home

2009-11-25T22:08:00.003-05:00

Thanksgiving is tomorrow...everyone is talking about what they are thankful for, posting what they are thankful for, tweeting what they are thankful for...

I am extremely thankful for my daughter. I am thankful for the fabulous, open relationship that I have with her. Thankful that she trusts me enough to talk to me about anything...and come to me with her problems...

My daughter will be 18 soon. She'll be graduating high school and moving on to college. It's a time when most kids leave home. For most parents, it's a time of letting go and letting their children be on their own.

Not for me! My daughter will be COMING HOME! Yup, you got that right! ::happy dance:: ::tears of joy:: Coming home...God, I love that phrase! :)

When she turns 18 she will be moving out of Jaba's house and in with me. I'm crossing my fingers that she doesn't get suckered into Jaba's evil web of lies... There's a whole lot more to the story...but I don't have time to get into the sickening details. It kills me that she has had to go through all of this. But I'm glad that she is seeing him for the evil shell of a person he truly is.

I'm just so very, very thankful for my daughter...my precious, precious gift...that will be soon coming home to me... (OMG, fingers crossed extremely tightly!!!!!!)

Ack!

2009-11-24T23:15:00.000-05:00

Turned computer back on to get today's post in!

Dreamland

2009-11-23T22:12:00.003-05:00

OMG, it's been ridiculously busy at work. I was hoping to have some time to write a bit more about this past weekend...alas, not able to. Drats!

I did have the most bizarre dream last night. I dreamt I was pregnant and had a baby in the middle of a car/some neighborhood/somewhere... The baby was fine...a boy...Chris... But the umbilical cord wasn't getting cut and was hanging from me to the baby. No one would help me. I'm yanking the cord out (gross, I know), but they just couldn't be bothered. The baby wanted to feed and had a full set of adult teeth and was nipping at me. Never bit me...but was chomping for sure! I finally woke up when I saw a girlfriend (with a beard!) on a motorcycle with some guy. She couldn't be bothered either. Weird.

Well...7 a.m. meeting tomorrow...so I better head off to bed.

Wonder what dreamland will hold for me tonight!

Entry for the Day

2009-11-22T23:05:00.004-05:00

This posting every day stuff...it's getting old!

I still have to get my thoughts down about yesterday's race...not to mention last night.

Today I got up and it was almost 11 a.m. when I rolled out of bed. Of course, I didn't sleep the whole time...but I was in bed late today! And no running...ugh!

I went shopping with my sis today and on the way home saw several runners. I felt guilty for not running and I desperately wanted to join them!

I had a great time with my sis...just hanging out and shopping. I couldn't have asked for a better sis! I love her dearly. We're best friends and always tell each other like it is...a quality I highly value in all of my friends.

Not to much else going on. It's gonna be a short work week due to Gobbler Day. I was thinking about that today. What a completely bogus holiday. Celebrate the Pilgrims and the Indians coming together and then the Pilgrims eventually obliterate the Indians....and we celebrate anyway??? I don't get it.

Any who...

That's my entry for the day. :)

Blitzen the Dotte 5K

2009-11-21T12:05:00.002-05:00

Blitzen the Dotte 5K

0:24:00 overall
7:75/m pace
2nd in my age group
92nd out of 442 overall

More later...

LA Countdown!!!!!

2009-11-20T21:37:00.000-05:00

Dork.

2009-11-19T22:54:00.003-05:00

That's me. A dork.

My facebook status: "If I'm a cougar....where are all my cubs???"

I know...completely lame! But, hey, I'm having fun and what's the harm?

Plus....I'm going to LA!!!!! Ticket is purchase and I can't wait! WoooHoo!!!! Only 56 more days... ;P Which gives me lots of time to heal and not be such a man hater!

Ran five miles today. Have a 5K on Saturday.

Going out Saturday night to listen to a band that I like.

Talked with my good friend in GA tonight for a while tonight.

Guess things are looking up and I am in a fabulous mood!!!!

...even if I am a dork! LOL!!!!

Drip, Drip, Drip

2009-11-18T22:02:00.001-05:00

OMG, I'm going to go crazy!

Paul was supposed to fix my gutters for me...months ago!

Here it is raining...and all I can hear is Drip. Drip. Drip, drip, drip. Drip. Drip, drip...

WTF????

I'm going to pull my freaking hair out!

What a DRIP!

2009 Lightfest 8K

2009-11-17T22:48:00.004-05:00

Ran a fun run/walk tonight in the dark... It was very cool, since the road we ran/walked down was all lit up with these huge holiday light displays.

I went alone and ran alone and road home alone...

When I was running I thought to myself that it would be really romantic to be running down the road with someone special. (Okay, now I know I'm sick because I can relate running to romance! LOL!!!!!)

At the beginning of the run I took my time, looked at the lights and ran past all the couples, families and other folks walking together. I loved the lights. But it made me a bit melancholy that I was out there in such beauty running by myself...no one to share my thoughts with...no one to look over at and smile...

Probably about two/two and a half miles in some runners started passing me. Mostly men. (Ha!) So I picked up the pace a bit. More and more youngin's were passing me in spurts of two, three, four. Eventually, I tuned the sites out and just ran. I was tired of feeling alone, so I got caught up in the "fun" of the "run".

I think it took me about 45 minutes to finish. The timer said 38 minutes, but I started at least 3 minutes prior to the actual start.

I meandered over to the shelter where the food was being passed out. I got my water and a bagel and headed towards the bus. I sat on the bus alone. No one really said anything...everyone else was there with someone...whether it was a friend, someone special, a group... But I just sat there and looked out the window as the bus took us back to the start.

I am glad I went.

I ran and it was fun and it was really pretty.

But I'm a little sad about it, too...being there alone and not really sharing it with anyone.

So that's it...2009 Lightfest....

Oh, I forgot to mention, I got a glow stick and ran with it wrapped around my ankle! LOL!!! ;P It's the little things! :)

LA Bound

2009-11-16T22:50:00.001-05:00

Oh yeah baby....

Gotta check schedules and budget...but I'm outta here and flying off soon!

What to do...

2009-11-15T11:15:00.003-05:00

Yes, what to do, what to do...

I have a list of things a mile and a half long that I could be doing...but I don't want to do any of them. Don't want to fold clothes, don't want to paint trim, don't want to clean the floors, don't want to flip mattresses, don't want to go pick up poop from the yard... Don't want to do any of that "fun" stuff!

So what will I do today?

Hmmm... I could go running... Maybe. Went for a 8.67 mile run yesterday. Met a cyclist named Chris. Seems Chris sees me running every weekend, so he thought he would say hello. We chatted while he biked and I ran for at least a mile or so then I ran out of steam and actually had to stop. We parted ways and who knows...I'm sure I'll see him again next time I run on the weekend down the road...

Or I could go to the gym... Haven't been to the gym in ages. But don't really feel like cross training just yet. I have a couple more races and don't want to get all tightened up. I suppose I could go and jump rope...but that's only about 30 minutes or so...then what? ::sigh::

Obviously, it seems I'm trying to avoid contact with men. I just don't want to get sucked in and I don't feel like dealing with the relationship games...

Maybe I'll take the dogs for a walk around the hood.

...then I'll figure out the next thing to do...

Why...

2009-11-14T22:39:00.002-05:00

Why is it that the person we want to forget about is on our minds the most?

I feel immensely lonely...

But I have to say that even if he wanted me back and was willing to give me the world...I don't think I have anything left to give.

I just don't understand why things have to be the way they are.

Or why things play out the way they do.

I don't understand alot of things...and am left wondering why...

Almost Forgot!

2009-11-13T22:38:00.002-05:00

Yupper, almost forgot to post today...was getting ready for bed and remembered!

Going to get up in the a.m. and go for a 7 - 10 mile run... Just a quick jaunt! ;)

Tomorrow night...out with the girls! :)

Trying to keep myself busy so I don't think about ... you know who...

Looks like I almost forgot about a lot of things...

12 Days of Christmas...running style!

2009-11-12T17:35:00.000-05:00

I love this!

On the 12th day of Christmas, my running buddy gave to me:
12 packs of energy gel
11 hand-warming gloves
10 race entries
9 inspiring cards
8 pairs of socks
7 nutritional supplements
6 massage sessions (consult your local sports-massage therapists)
5 golden medals (these can't be bought of course, but motivation and support will help)
4 books on running
3 pairs of running shoes
2 coaching videos
... and a trip to a far-away marathon

Mean Spirited Driver

2009-11-11T22:21:00.002-05:00

I was out running around my neighborhood this evening and some woman ran a stop sign and almost ran right into me. I was wearing this extremely reflective vest that would blind anyone! In fact, my daughter's boyfriend was over tonight when I got home and couldn't believe I actually wear it. Anyway, I waved my arms in the air and was like "WTF" and kept running down the sidewalk, not really thinking anything of it other than she was clueless.

She must have turned around and followed me three blocks down the road because she almost ran into me AGAIN when I was crossing another street. To add fuel to the fire, she had her window down and was telling me off...all with her young daughter in the car...then she tried hitting me with her car... It was the first time I've ever had to pound on anyone's hood... I couldn't believe it...and yelled at her that it wasn't my fault and that if she would have stopped at the stop sign, there wouldn't be an issue. There were other cars stopped at the second street stop sign and I think she finally figured out that she was in the wrong because she sped away...

Unreal...

I was truly scared for the rest of my run and kept wondering if she was still following me. :(

I may have to start carrying my cell phone...if I had it, I would have called the police on the spot. I've never been scared like that before. I felt completely cornered because she cut me off with her car. Flesh vs. metal...don't have to tell me who would win.

Some people are just down right mean spirited!

Upcoming Race

2009-11-10T22:39:00.003-05:00

Oh boy...next Saturday is my first race since the Marathon...and my first race since August.

I'm a little nervous. What if I don't do well? What if I don't place? What if I run like a slug? What if it's snowy and super cold?

I've got all these expectations... (Again, the expectations!) Seems sometimes I let the expectations get the best of me and my relationships. But in my relationships...I deserve the BEST! :) As for my running...I'm just nervous. I've been doing so well...and I don't want to let myself down.

The upcoming race is a 5K, so I'm shooting for no more than 0:26:00 overall which is an 8:22/m pace. Today I ran at an 8:52/m pace for 3.72 miles, not out of breath and not sweaty at the end...I'm sure I can knock 30 seconds off of that pace...

Blah, blah, blah...

...one of these days I'll post something joyful. Argh!

5 Stages

2009-11-09T21:58:00.003-05:00

5 Stages of Grief...

1. Denial - all gone, I'm no longer there. I've realize it's not meant to be. :(

2. Anger - oh yeah...every now and then. :

3. Bargaining - Yup did that already...back and forth, back and forth like a yo-yo. It didn't work. :(

4. Depression - I'd have to say that I have a little bit of that. :(

5. Acceptance - Trying to be there, but fighting it...which is probably why I'm angry and depressed! :~

Just wish I could blink and be through them all...or just RUN through them all!

Running Away...

2009-11-08T19:18:00.003-05:00

It seems the evenings are the worst...I'm left alone with my thoughts...

::sigh::

Ran five miles with my girlfriend this afternoon. It was another lovely afternoon - sun shining, light breeze, 68* F... A wonderful fall afternoon.

I could have ran forever...

...sometimes I just want to run and not stop running...maybe then everything will be okay.

Puts a new spin on the definition of running away, huh?

New Beginnings

2009-11-07T17:16:00.003-05:00

Still a few hours left in the day...not sure what to say about it so far...

Slept in this morning and then got up and goofed off for a while. After that, drove over to Hines and ran ~7 miles. It was my first longish run since the marathon. I mindlessly ran down the road...just me alone with my thoughts. Dangerous, huh? LOL!

Going to be getting ready to meet a friend up at BWW's... I need to get out of the house more often and have some fun. Bad thing is....no $$$! Can't wait for child support payments to come to and end. Only eight more months! WooHoo!!!!!!

Hmmmm...

I figured out that the path I run down is really .27 miles longer than it says it is on the sign. Ha! I wonder how much that would increase my time down the path... I'll have to check my spreadsheet on Monday since it's on my work laptop and the laptop is..at work. I knew that path was over 4 miles! LOL!!! Can you say OCD????

Well, I should take a shower and get ready. Never know who you may meet or run into when one is out! ;P

According to my horoscope today: "If you keep a hopeful attitude and stay focused on the positive, you should start to sense a new beginning coming soon." I sure hope so! :)

Here's to new beginnings!!!

Breaking

2009-11-06T19:26:00.005-05:00

I'm sitting here on a Friday night...alone...and sad.

I don't want to be alone and my heart is breaking over and over again. Tears keep streaming down my face like an endless river going no where. Then the tears stop and I'm okay for a while. But then it starts back up again.

I don't like feeling like this. I don't like feeling sad and lonely and vunerable.

I want to call him...because I don't want to be alone...

But I won't...because I don't want to fall back into the same self destructing pattern.

For now, I'll just be alone and let my heart feel like it's breaking.

Added about an hour later: boy, I feel better...guess I just needed to get the bad stuff out...

Nevermind...breaking again... Bah! LOL!

Well, at least I can laugh about my yo-yo-ish breaking heart... Not really. :(

Quickie!

2009-11-05T21:32:00.001-05:00

Work, run, daughter...

Had a really nice evening tonight...first time in a long time my daughter and I hung out together!!!!! :) :) :)

I miss her!

Train Wreck

2009-11-04T21:53:00.005-05:00

What a shit ass day.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a crying headache - took two aspirins and went back to bed. I suppose the extra glass of wine I had before I went to bed didn't help my aching head either. No need to get into details about the crying or the extra wine...let's just say I talked to a certain someone and all the tears that were pent up from the last couple weeks came pouring out.

So this morning I get up, feed the dogs and get ready to take a shower. I look in the mirror...it was like I had been hit by a train. Bags under my eyes, eyes all puffy, hair flying all over the place, make-up under the eyes... Scary.

I get into the office and the fun begins. Meetings, meetings and mo meetings. Two hot assignments due and I was freaking out because both weren't getting the attention they needed. I actually put some extra time in the office to get one of the assignments completed...phew! But the other assignment is still open and still has tons of holes in it...holes big enough for a train to drive through!

No running tonight...evening number two of no running. I was exhausted and didn't really have any motivation to run. Thank you Post Marathon Depression! Plus, I had a date with C. Sauvignon!!!! I think I am falling in love with C. Sauvignon...great body, puts me in a mellow mood every time we meet, wonderful aroma, comes from many cultures and is well traveled, sometimes surprising...oh, the list goes on... LOL!!! Sorry, couldn't help it...my warped sense of humor strikes again! ;P

I promise myself I'll run tomorrow. At least four miles...

Any who.

When I got home, someone had put my garbage cans in my backyard... Weird. Who would do that? And who would know which one to leave out so I could put it in the garage? Very Weird.

Dogs kept wanting out and then were barking two minutes later to come back in. Make up your minds already. They are now getting on each others nerves and are barking at each other as I type this.

My daughter got home, sits on the couch and starts crying. The Big A, which is what I call her boyfriend, text her that he just wants to be friends... Great... Of course, I'm the greatest role model when it comes to relationships...ugh! I felt bad for her and we started talking. Then he called and off she went to her room and hasn't been out since. I can still hear her on the phone from where I am sitting.

It's been one thing after another today...

I just feel like my day has been a complete train wreck.

1 - 33

2009-11-03T18:25:00.002-05:00

1. What is your occupation right now? Program Management Analyst...aka Adult Babysitter

2. What color are your socks right now? Brown

3. What are you listening to right now? My typing on the keyboard.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Pretzels and chili con queso dip...I know, I know!

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yuppers!

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Referral Coordinator at my Dr.

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you ? n/a...snagged from a friend's blog!

8. How old are you today? 42+++ and dang proud of it!!!!

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Ice Hockey

10. What is your favorite drink? Ravenswood Zin - red of course!

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? The folks I worked with years ago said I was like Baskin Robins...31 Hair Colors!

12. Favorite food? mexican~

13. What is the last movie you watched? Made of Honor

14. Favorite day of the year? Any day I don't have to work!

15. How do you vent anger? I let it all out and deal with the repercussions later.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Simon.

17. What is your favorite season? Spring

18. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries...YUM!

19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? n/a

20. Who is the most likely to respond? Not asking anyone to respond per se.

21. Who is least likely to respond? See above.

22. Where do you live? Michigan...between Ann Arbor and Detroit

23. When was the last time you cried? Maybe yesterday

25. Who is the friend you had the longest that you are sending this to? N/A since I am not sending this.

26. What did you do last night? Ran, ate, watched tv, surfed the web.

27. What are you most afraid of? growing old alone.

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? YUK~ No beef for me!

29. Favorite breed of dog? Urrr...Ummm... Okay, Siberian Huskies!

30. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

31. How many states have you lived in? One.

32. Diamonds or pearls? Diamond, my birthstone!

33 . What is your favorite flower? Lavender or Lilacs...

Day 2

2009-11-02T22:00:00.002-05:00

Today is day two of National Bloggers Posting Month. I signed up to post one entry every day for a month. See the little badge on the side of my page??? So this means you're stuck reading my gibberish every freakin' day this month! Bwahahahaha!

Not really sure what I want to write about today as I sit here with a heating pad on my shoulder/neck.

For the last week or so I've been looking for a black suit type jacket that I bought while in Germany a couple years ago. I loved that jacket...it was great to wear with jeans over a cami...

Yes, I said "loved". Today I found out that my ex-boyfriend's daughter hacked the jacket into some freakin' Michael Jackson pedophile wanna be jacket! Unfreakin' real!!!!!

I will never find a jacket like that one again! Not only was it "cool". But it was "Euro Sue" cool! And it was lined and only $9 EU!

My Euro jacket was massacred and turned into a pedophile tragedy!

Sorry to all the MJ lovers out there...but personal opinion...

Any who...

Ran three miles this evening. Even with my lime green fluorescent safety vest folks still seemed oblivious. It's amazing how many people just blow passed stop signs and barely yield.

Heck, I almost got hit by a church goer this weekend. The old lady turned left onto a side street I was running passed and almost hit me. Like withing 5 ft! I was running against on-coming traffic (which runners are supposed to do to be safe) and on the sidewalk and wearing a bright blue shirt...HELLO! She came up behind me from out of no where and actually had the balls to glare at me before slamming on the brakes and then scooting forward again! I called her a "c" under my breath as I ran up onto the sidewalk. WTF?

I have this theory that people are idiots. And it was proven once again!

Ah well...it's getting to be about that time and my eyelids are getting heavy.

Catch ya again tomorrow!

PMD

2009-11-01T20:57:00.003-05:00

Seems I'm not so crazy after all and there is such a thing as Post Marathon Depresssion aka PMD! Ha! Ha! and Ha! Okay, okay, so most of the articles say the same thing...but it explains a lot to me.

I did it. I ran 26.2 miles. I accomplished something I didn't think I could do. Now What? That's what the articles say and that's exactly what I've been thinking. Now what?

I suppose the final break-up of Paul and I isn't helping my mood or my motivation. I really do not like being single. I know it hasn't been that long...but I miss sharing my life, my day, my "everything" with someone. Don't get me wrong, I love my "me" time...but all the time??? Guess I'm feeling a bit lonely...

It also explains me peetering out at about 2 miles during my runs. I'm just wiped out! Granted most of my runs have been 3 - 5 miles and most at an under 9 minute mile pace, but OMG, I feel like I'm just exhausted when I'm done.

So, from what the articles say, I should have another two and a half weeks of feeling like this. Which I, suppose, is why my post marathon training schedule is set up the way it is.

Ah ha! Things are making sense now...

Guess I just have to be patient and let the PMD run it's course (ha, no pun intended!)...

Motivation Please!

2009-11-01T16:15:00.003-05:00

Seems I'm not too motivated for running these days. The marathon is done and every run I've had since has seemed slow and torturous. I'm not sure what has gotten into me. I have to force myself to go out and run...ugh!

I've heard there is a post marathon depression. I think I'm in it.

My next race is 21Nov, then on Turkey Day...then maybe the Martian Marathon (or half marathon depending on how winter training goes) in April 2010.

All I know is that....I need some running motivation....pa-lease!

Dog Gone It!

2009-10-29T23:11:00.002-04:00

It's late and I'm tired...but I don't want to go to bed...even though I really do...

My dogs are sitting here breathing their bad doggie breath on me and whining...pet me! pet me!

I was planning on writing a bit to help me get some negative emotions out...but I don't think I'm going to be allowed to! LOL!!!

Tomorrow is another day...

Dog gone it! LOL!!! ;P

Marathon Stats Take III

2009-10-29T08:22:00.001-04:00

Will they ever stabalize the number of runners?

Distance Marathon 26.2 Miles
Clock Time 4:16:24
Chip Time 4:08:06
Pace 9:29

Overall Place 1711 / 3808 (Top 44.9% of all marathoners)
Gender Place 394 / 1326 (Top 29.7% of all women marathoners)
Division Place 66 / 212 (Top 31.1% of women marathoners 40-44 yrs old)
First Timers Division Place 21 / 89 (Top 23.6% of 1st time women marathoners 40-44 yrs old)

Mile Marker Times (minutes per mile pace)
6.2 Mi 57:24 (9:16 pace)
Half 2:00:43 (9:13 pace)
12.2 Mi 1:51:55 (9:10 pace)
21.8 Mi 3:23:25 (9:19 pace)

Last 4.4 miles in 45:00ish at 10:13 pace

Wtrmi 9:07 pace (Mile through the Tunnel between Windsor and Detroit)

Single

2009-10-27T09:05:00.002-04:00

It really hit me this a.m. as I was laying in bed that as of last night...

...I'm single...

I'm 42 freakin' years old...I don't want to be single!

Ugh.

...single...

Two Different Places

2009-10-26T23:19:00.004-04:00

Seems the relationship road was just not meant for Paul and I.

Today it hit me as to why we possibly have been having such difficulty. We are at two different places in regards to the relationship continuum.

During our time together, it seems I have been two steps, two yards, two miles...farther down the continuum than Paul has been.

Because I am farther down the continuum, I expect certain things. I expect certain behaviors. I expect the other person to be in the same place I am...

And when the other person isn't that far down the continuum...they don't expect the same things...

...and there-in lies the disconnect.

The disconnect can lead to all sorts of problems...as Paul and I have learned.

We were disconnected, even after all this time, and it's sad.

It's not easy.

It's hard...for both of us.

It breaks my heart that it's ending up like this...but we have been in two different places for too long...and both of us realize it.

Two people...two different places... :(

Feeling like a Yo-Yo

2009-10-25T22:44:00.002-04:00

On again, off again...again and again...

I found these quotes back at the beginning of August. I think I'll finally post them today.

...thinking silence is worse and hurts more than the truth...

...same story, same excuse, different day...

...I'm not a toy...you can't pick me up and put me down when you want to...

...wondering why the first person I think of in the a.m., may be the first person I want to forget about...

....why do I bother...and why didn't I learn the first time...

...playing referee between my head and my heart...

...time has a way of showing us what really matters...

There is a lot I haven't written about...let's just say I'm tired of feeling like a yo-yo and that my feelings are raw and exposed right now.

Updated Stats

2009-10-22T22:23:00.004-04:00

Updated Stats For the Detroit Marathon:

Distance MARARTHON 26.2 miles
Clock Time 4:16:25
Chip Time 4:08:07
Overall Pace 9:29

Overall Place 1702 / 3803 (in the top 44.75% of all marathoners)
Gender Place 391 / 1325 (in the top 29.5% of all women)
Division Place 65 / 212 (in the top 30% of women in my age group)

Mile Marker Times (minutes per mile pace)
6.2 Mi 57:24 (9:16 pace)
Half 2:00:43 (9:13 pace)
12.2 Mi 1:51:55 (9:10 pace)
21.8 Mi 3:23:25 (9:19 pace)

Last 4.4 miles in 45:00ish at 10:13 pace - seems I hit the wall and ran out of steam!

Wtrmi 9:07 pace (Mile through the Tunnel between Windsor and Detroit)

Marathon Finish

2009-10-19T15:10:00.005-04:00

Still too tired to write too much...and it's sort of bittersweet with the three who lost their lives yesterday.

Here is a clip of the finish...I'm around 23:50ish...clock time of 4:16:24. I have on a Blue Top which is unzipped at the neck, Black Capris and a pony. I wave my arms up really fast and then keep on going...Hilarious!

This thing doesn't seem to be loading...

Click here for the link.

I AM A MARATHON RUNNER!!!!

2009-10-18T14:46:00.002-04:00

I think I did pretty good...considering it was my first..

Chip Time 4:08:06

Updated counts for marathon only:

Overall Place 1709 / 3796
Gender Place 398 / 1328
Division Place 67 / 212
Pace 9:29

Too tired to write more...stay tuned for details! :)

The Countdown

2009-10-17T09:33:00.003-04:00

Holy $hit!!!!! The marathon is less than 22 hours away!!!!

This time tomorrow (9:30 a.m.), I'll be two hours into the marathon...with hopefully 13.1 miles completed.

Weather is supposed to be 31* F at the start and 41* F at the finish...what to wear, what to wear... I'll be wearing my running capris for sure, but I'm stressing about how many layers I need up top. Two for sure...maybe three! I wore three layers during my 35* F run - sleeveless tech top, long sleeve tech top, cold weather long sleeve jacketish tech top. I'm thinking that's what I'm going to wear for the race, too. Three layers. I think. Hmmmm.... ACK! LOL!!!

This is completely unreal. All these months and hours and miles of training and mental preparation culminating in one day. One moment. One start. One finish. Just the thought of it takes my breath away.

Let's see....

I know I've ran over 300 miles since I started logging my training. That would be like running passed Chicago, IL...or Niagara, Ontario...or over the Mackinaw Bridge...or down passed Cincinnati, OH... Unreal!

I've ran in 92*F, 35*F, in the sun, in the rain, in the wind, in the humidity, in the morning, in the after noon, in the evening and even in the dark!

I've ran when I was happy, sad, mad, ho-hum, not motivated, completely motivated, full of energy, exhausted and even when I was sick.

I run alone and sometimes I run with others. I tried a running group - they were too fast; although I could probably keep up with them now. I run with my girlfriend who is running the half - normally slower than normal cause we like to talk so much! I've run with Paul on his roller blades...

I've met some really great people and joined a really supportive group, JustFinish, online. Oh and I can't forget about tackling Mike on my 18 miler and running most of the 20 miles with him! LOL!!!!

I have a routine for all my long runs - any run over 9 miles... Before I go to bed I have a soy protein shake and then one about an hour before I get ready to leave for my run. For the extra long runs over 12 miles, I add a quick shake if I wake up during the night to use the bathroom.

I always run with three pieces of gum in my mouth.

For the extra long runs, I started take two Motrin to keep away the aches and pains that may sneak up on me.

I listen to my iPod and make up words to some of the songs... Well, switch them around to include "runner" or "marathon" in them to help keep me motivated.

I've dedicated miles of my runs to those people who have passed on or can no longer run. I have a list, in my head, of folks I'll be dedicating miles to during the marathon.

And let's not forget about the outpouring of support from everyone - thank you so much. I love it and it's soooo uplifting! :) XO!

Well, I really need to walk away from the computer. My OCD is setting in and I need to try to focus on something other than 7:15 a.m. tomorrow morning!

21 hours and counting!!!

Who's Counting?

2009-10-16T13:13:00.001-04:00

1 day 18 hours and 1 minute till my first marathon!!!!!

But who's counting?!?!?!

Greiving

2009-10-11T19:29:00.007-04:00

Got up this morning and went running in 35* F weather. It actually wasn't that bad. I suppose it would have been better if I was running my normal speed. My entire body aches right now...knees, back... I ran with my girlfriend and she runs slower than I do. It's so hard on my body when I run slower...I know, doesn't make sense to me either...but oh well... The run is over an done with. It's time for taping now. No big runs until next Sunday - The Detroit Marathon is a mere 6 days and 11 hours away!!!! Cool, cool! I can't wait!! :) Now I just need to get into the chiropractor!

Paul texted me, this morning, while we were running asking if I was okay. Ummmm...NO/MAYBE, but I will be. I called him back (hate to text) told him I was alright...that I hadn't slit my wrists or anything. It was an okay conversation...it was nice talking with him. We talked for a while about nothing really... He asked if I needed a ride to the marathon. I'm just not ready to make any decisions about anything...I'm processing and I'm sad. I told him I would be in touch.

I need to grieve. Grieve what was. Grieve what could have been.

Now I'm just sitting here tonight and feeling really sorry for myself. Oh woe is Sue... All alone... I absolutely hate this. I miss him right now.

But I know there are far worse things in life that could be going on in my life. I have it pretty good actually. Good job. Nice house. Car. My health. Friends and family...

I think I may make some popcorn and have a nice glass of wine. I need to take my mind off things...so I can stop crying and leave the "pity party of one" behind me.

Maybe I'll watch this again....

Completely inspiring!

I know I'm a strong person. I just don't feel all that strong right now. I feel meek and helpless. It's very debilitating and I know I'm doing it to myself. I just can't help it right now.

I do know that I'll get through this...one way or another. Just like all the other hurdles I've passed over throughout the years.

I want to finish strong and be happy.

But for now I'm grieving...

Longer Arms?

2009-10-10T23:41:00.005-04:00

So it's been quite a day...

This a.m. was really rough. I cried. I was sad. I was wallowing in self pity about being alone.

I'm still not happy about the situation.

We were together for almost 10 months. I don't hate him. I don't wish him ill. I think he is a good person, just not the person for me...and the feeling was mutual. There was much said, but out of respect for him, I won't go into details. I will say that I was a bit put off by some of things that were said and I suppose what was said made me realize even more just how different we are and how differently we view relationships.

Sometimes I think I'm just better off being alone. That the heartache isn't worth it. That if I haven't found the one by now that I probably never will. That maybe my expectations are just too high.

All I want is someone to love me for who I am and for me to love them the same in return. For us to communicate and be best friends. For us to want each other and no one else. To be in sync (most of the time). To laugh and tease and cry... To feel like I'm loved and that I matter. Obviously, quality time is what's important to me.

I'm just not sure anymore.

I don't know.

I don't understand why it has to be so f'in hard.

Is it too much to ask to be happy with someone?

I just want to be happy...

...and this illusive happiness always seems to be just beyond my reach.

I'm beginning to think that maybe I need longer arms!

First Run in Six Days

2009-10-10T23:38:00.004-04:00

Oh yeah baby!!!!!

Rockin' it down Hines today...

9.26 miles in 1:22:00 at a 8:51/m pace!!!!

Sub-9 for 9 miles...a four hour marathon could be in my future!!!!! That would be a 9:09/m pace...possible?!?!?!

We'll find out next Sunday morning!!!!!

Sad

2009-10-10T09:31:00.003-04:00

I'm sad today.

Paul and I decided that we are just too different to continue on with a long term relationship.

I guess deep down, I knew this. But now that it's here...

I'm just sad.

Still Feel Like $hit

2009-10-06T21:43:00.002-04:00

I think that about sums it up.

I did go to dr...and am taking antibiotic.

Hopefully the antibiotic will help...but I'm so tired of feeling like $hit!

I went to chiropractor today, too...

I am taking extra vitamin C.

Everyone is telling me how bad/tired/sick I look. Very uplifting~ ;P

Plus, no running yesterday or today either. (Ha, ya knew I'd get running into the post some how!)

WILL I EVER GET BETTER?!?!?!

Ah well...off to bed.

Rough Week...ending in a Rough Run

2009-10-04T12:21:00.003-04:00

Wow, it's been a really rough week. I've been feeling sick and missing my runs...work has been crazy, my house is a disaster area...the list goes on.

The last couple days I've been feeling somewhat better, so I've sort of caught up on my running. Ran an easy 5 yesterday and it was a cool, drizzley day. Ran 12.2 today with my girlfriend. OMG, toughest run yet...harder than the 20 miles last weekend. Okay, the 90*+ F day run may have been harder! Guess I'm still not 100% and I am sure feeling it now... I am just exhausted. Every muscle in my body is screaming, my stomach is a little upset from the energy bar I ate after the run and I have an inkling of a headache. I know, I know...gimme some cheese to go along with all the whining.

I'm now in the taper stage of training. The taper...cutting back on mileage to let my body repair itself for the big day. Wow. The Big Day. October 18th. Two weeks from now...11 short days from today. And, at this time, next Sunday, I should be enjoying a beer after running 26.2 miles!!!!!!

The day is on it's way...I have a birthday party and then Paul wants to get together...but I just don't know if I can make it...

Guess all I really have to say is...

...it's been a rough week...

No Time Off for Being Sick

2009-10-01T11:20:00.002-04:00

From yesterday:

Oh boy...still feeling like crapola.

After a yummy dinner with Paul (which he cooked - so double bonus!), went to bed Monday night...woke up during the night feeling tired and head a bit - well, like it was too dry in the house. I thought, great, I better not be getting sick. Woke up Tuesday feeling really bad - sinus pressure, hot/burning eyes and extremely tired. Didn't want to go into work, but had big Director / Vice President presentation to finish. I figured I'd go in and then head home. Not the case, wound up feeling a bit better after lunch, but then quickly deteriorating again.

Felt ran down all night and my head was stuffy. Went to dinner with Paul, had a litre of margaritas and didn't even feel the effects of the alcohol because I was so freakin' tired! Dropped Paul off and went home and got to bed early.

I took a couple Nyquil gel tabs and got under the covers...immediately fell asleep. Woke up a couple times...runny nose, achy... All I could think was...Nooooo! My training! LOL! It's all about the training! ;)

This a.m. I could barely roll out of bed. I took an extra half hour and then finally got up...only to find that someone peed in the living room. OMG, livid and tired. Out came the mop. Lovely... Dang, dogs!

I am just feeling utterly like crap. With vacation time being taken away earlier this year, I barely have enough time to cover the rest of the Ford Holidays. Hunting Day...oh yeah, a Ford Holiday that I have to take a vacation day for! Grrrrr!!!!!! Anyway, I would have stayed home...but I don't get any personal time and I don't feel like taking a vacation day which I'm going to need later this year.

I talked to my sis earlier today and she said I sounded awful. Plus, my cubie even said that I look bad today. Great. And I even tried to look better - washed my hair and put on a bit of make-up. Yesterday, I took a shower, but just threw my hair in a ponytail with no makeup...and I look worse today?! Sheesh! LOL!!!

Sooooo...now I'm debating on what to do with regards to work. I'm just exhausted...but I'm hording vacation time. I'm sort of planning on taking the day after the marathon off. That's 8 Hrs. Hunting Day...another 8. Then there's Christmas Shutdown...32 hours... Crap, that's a total of 48 hours needed for the rest of the year. I have 15.82 accrued to date. Ugh. I am not happy. I want to go home and I feel like I could just cry right now.

Just seems there is no time off for being sick. :(

More Thoughts on the 20 Miler

2009-09-27T10:05:00.003-04:00

Just thought I'd put down some more thoughts before they leave my head about the 20 miler yesterday.

I was soooo nervous before the run. But then the run started and all the nervousness went away. Weird. I loved being surrounded by all the other runners...and just running.

There were lots of groups of two, three, four or more runners at the beginning of the run. Along with the folks running alone, like me. As the run went on and the miles passed under our feet, the groups dispersed and it was more common to see folks running alone or in pairs...like Mike and I.

Mike...I just can't believe of all people to yell at on Hines I picked someone who ran my pace. That in and of itself is really something. Plus, he's a genuinely nice guy from what I can tell and he listened to all my gibberish - poor guy! He should have gotten a medal for that! LOL!!!

I did do a lot of talking. At one point, I asked Mike how old he was and he wanted me to guess. Once I found out his age, I called him a "cub". I mean, after all, he is 10, ok 9, years younger than me. ;) He laughed and told me that no one had called him that before. First time for everything, right!

Any way, I digress...

While I was running alone, I saw a few older men running alone. One of them would run up and pass me and then walk. This happened a couple of times. Finally a light went on over my head...he was a run walker! I asked him if this was the case and he said yes. I told him that I hoped I was still running at his age and that he was an inspiration to me. The dude had to be 70!

A little while later, I saw two guys stopped at the side of the road. One taking off his shoe revealing a bloody heal...owie! I told him I hoped it wasn't too bad while running passed them. A mile or so later, there they came passing me by telling me I looked fresh and like the run was no problem. I told them I was dieing on the inside. We all laughed. I said to the one guy, hey weren't you hurt on the side of the road. Yup, with a further response of - if you don't bleed, you're not a runner. I told them I guess I wasn't a runner cause I haven't bled before and I didn't want to! More laughter and off they went.

Around mile 18, I saw a man in a wheelchair that had these pseudo bicycle pedals up top so he could twirl them with his arms to keep going. Wow! I thought to myself, if that isn't inspiration to keep going I don't know what is! I saw him at the end of the run by the food and told him just that - what an inspiration he was for me. :)

Which reminds me...I tried to thank all the volunteers I talked to. They always seem to look surprised when I thank them. I read an article about volunteers and how a lot of them feel that not many folks appreciate them, so I like to let them know that without them, the run/race wouldn't be possible.

And let's not forget the husband who was on a bike at every mile...giving his wife her time and support. Awesome! :) I saw him at the end of the race and told him there should be more like him.

Between mile 18 and 20, a few folks passed me and I passed a few folks.

It was the greatest feeling crossing the finishline and seeing my time on the clock: 3:07:35.

I wanted to throw my arms up in the air and jump for joy, but everyone else was just running across. So I did, too, but inside...my arms were flying up into the air!!!!

After that...water! and a banana, then more water. After cheering Mike as he finished, I grabbed half a bagel and met him on the grass before he left. I wish I would have known more people, but unfortunately not, and a lot of people were leaving. I thought maybe it would be like a celebration at the end...but no...just people milling about. In all honesty, it was sort of a let down.

I learned a lot on this run.

I really enjoyed the camaraderie of having someone (thank you Mike!) who ran my pace (very key) to talk to over those long, what I know can be lonely, miles. I loved the "race" feel of the run and knowing that finally came the time to see what I had in me. I loved that I didn't have any "OMG!" bathroom breaks. I learned that no water in the beginning is good and to just take little sips at the hydration stations later in the run. I learned that I don't need to GU myself to death. I only had one GU packet the entire 20 miles which I sipped over a good mile or so. And most importantly, it reinforced my need for support from my fellow runners during the run. Without all of the above...well, let me just say that I attribute my great finishline time to all of the above! Not to mention the hours and miles of training...but mostly to the above. As I've written before, running is mostly mental!

And with that...off for a walk. I feel like I'm 100 yrs old today....but it was soooo worth it! :)

Got Wine?

2009-09-26T19:21:00.003-04:00

OMG...every bone, muscle, fiber in my body is aching...even my triceps hurt!

This is the wonderful result of pushing yourself and doing well to achieve a goal.

More red wine, please!!!!!

20 Miles....No Problem!!!!!

2009-09-26T15:46:00.007-04:00

I am still stoked from my run this a.m...and am sooooo proud of myself! I never in a million years thought I could do as well as I did. Well, I did have my running friend, Mike, to help me along the way! :)

Got to bed early last night after setting out my running gear and packing an extra bag of clothes. Did my little soy protien/milk shake routine...before I hoped in the hay. Woke up at 6 a.m. for some breakfast along with a big glass of water and back to bed. Got up at 7ish, showered (I know, why?) and headed out... Halfway there I realized I didn't have any gum! Tragedy! Stopped at a gas station and got some gum...Extra Peppermint. Popped three pieces in my mouth and back on the road...I was running a bit behind. Big surprise there! ;)

Once there, I grabbed my bib number and headed to the porta potties. Had to go...another big surprise... Met a really nice younger couple doing their first marathon while I was in line waiting. On my way down the hill, the gun went off and the runners started, so I jogged over and started my 20 mile journey.

About a mile in, I see this guy in front of me a little ways up with a water bottle pack on his back. I was hoping it was Mike...he said he was gonna be there. And I wasn't running with anyone. Sure enough, it was him!

So from about mile one or two until mile thirteen, I think, he got to hear all about Sue...blah, blah, blah...I don't think I stopped jibber jabbering the whole time! Another big surprise, I know... ;P In all honesty, I don't think I could have kept up my pace without talking to someone or running with someone for that long. He was definitely motivating me to keep the pace up.

Eventually one of us was going to have to make a pit stop...and at that point we parted ways. Two miles later, must have been a mental thing, I stopped at the next rest area. When I came out...low and behold...Mike was running by. I felt really good, so he said to go ahead and run while I had some steam, so off I went.

The last five miles were killer. I chatted with a few folks passing by. Waved at the man, from the couple I chatted with before the run, a couple times.

Finally...the last two miles!!! I was thrilled and tried to keep my pace up. A few younger (ha!) folks passed me by....but I passed a couple people, so it wasn't all bad!

Around the last bend...and I see (sorta because I didn't have my glasses on) the time clock. I pick it up a bit....

I finished in 3:07:35 - at a 9:23/m pace!!!!

I was hoping for 3:20:00 or at worst 3:30:00...I finished much quicker than I anticipated and was stoked!!!!!

I ran over grabbed a banana and some water....and watched for Mike. I cheered him on as he finished. A little chit chat and he left and shortly after and then so did I.

I called at least four people on my way home...voicemail! I finally got Paul. He was golfing with his buddies. I wish he could have been there at the end...that would have been the icing on the cake. Guess I won't be seeing him, though, until Monday...ah well...

I have been bouncing around ever since the run. Okay, maybe not bouncing because I'm getting a little sore and the muscle tightness is starting to set in! But I was actually dancing around the house to the radio while cooking up some dinner before sitting down to write this. And I did run my errands after a 20 minute shower. So I guess I had a little more in me...

Most importantly, now that I have the 20 out of the way... I KNOW I can do the 26.2.

And now I have a new goal...9 minute miles!!!! I'm gonna join the 9 minute pace group at the start of the marathon and see how I do. I'm gonna give it my all. You know my mantra - I know I can, I know I can, I know I can!!!!!!!

I'm smiling from ear to ear right now! I am just so proud.

20 Miles....no problem.... Who'd have thunk????

Little Runner that Could

2009-09-25T21:26:00.005-04:00

OMG, I can't believe it and I'm freaking out a bit.

20 miles...

20 miles...

Weather forecast is 59* F with a 40% chance of rain from 7 - 9 a.m.

I'm signed up for a 20 Mile Training Run which starts at 8 a.m. 20 miles will likely take about 3 hours and 20-30 minutes.

OMG, 20 miles!!!!

I'm not thrilled about those weather conditions for the longest run of my training plan.

In fact, regardless of the weather, I'm just straight out scared. I've put so much into this...what if I can't do it?

But...

I know I can.

I know I can.

I know I can!!!

After all...I am the Little Runner that Could!

Get it? Like the Little Engine that Could! LOL!

Starting this post, I did not intend to end up this way, but I now have a new mantra!

I know I can, I know I can, I know I can! ;)

23 Days

2009-09-24T21:39:00.005-04:00

23 days until my first marathon....

I can't believe it! Wowie!!!

Today my old team took me out to lunch for middle easter food. OMG, I ate so much bread and garlic sauce that I thought I was going to explode. I seriously did not want to run today and all I could think was...my stomach is going to bounce up and down like a bowl full of jelly!

I went to my chiropractor appointment and almost fell asleep...as in a bread coma! I got home and changed...and then ran. Seriously, I did NOT want to run. I dreaded running after eating so much...

I'm so glad I did.

I did have to stop at home (no comment!), but finished my five miles including the pit stop at home in 47 minute. I didn't struggle, I didn't push myself and I think I did awesome! Yesterday I was kicking myself for doing so poorly...but today...I feel pretty damn good! :)

Yesterday was a hugely busy day. The schedule - work, pick up daughter, run 10 miles, high school open house.... So I worked my eight hours. I picked up my daughter (gosh I miss her when she's not here!). Got home and changed and then drove up to Hines for my 10 mile run. I ran fast. I had to...and I only ran 9.49 miles...time constrained! I didn't even stretch after the run, rather I ate a banana and grabbed my daughter and headed up to the Open House. Yup, no shower....only put on a shirt and Febreezed myself. Then it was up to Open House in running gear I went. What to say about that? Well, you know you're a runner when... ;) LOL!!!!

Any who....when I figured my time last night I was sooooooo disappointed. 10:30/m pace. I thought for sure I was under 10 minute miles! :( I ran fast and hard. Albeit it was 78* F and very humid...and I was running on Hines after work on some low rolling hills... But still! I was very disappointed in myself.

And last night...slept like crapola. I tossed and I turned. I kept thinking about how SLOW I was. I kept waking up at every little sound. I kept stressing about not being able to run a 10 minute mile for the marathon...since, after all, that is my goal.

Today...ran a leisurely pace around the neighborhood. Even with the pit stop...under 10 minute miles. I was thrilled! :)

Who knows what will happen with the 26.2...

Guess I'll find out in 23 days!!!!!

Pretty Cool Video

2009-09-22T22:32:00.003-04:00

Marathon Tips...

Found this link on one of the running community sites and thought I'd share. Think it's pretty cool and unique! Definitely better than just writing out a list.

http://www.mikekobal.com/blog/?p=227

Did a pretty quick 5 miles today even in the heat and humidity.

WTF is up with all the knats around the hood? I swear I ran into every single freakin' knat in my neighborhood. Sheesh! They were up my nose, sticking to my body, and even flew behind my glasses and into my eyes. Unreal!

And with that...I'm off to sleep.

Four Weeks and a Walk in the Park

2009-09-21T22:07:00.004-04:00

As I sit here this evening sipping a glass of red wine on my "rest day", a herd of Woolly Mammoths trample through my stomach while I think...

HOLY SHIT!!!!! THERE ARE ONLY FOUR MORE WEEKS UNTIL MY FIRST MARATHON!!!!

Of course, I've followed my training plan.

Of course, I've logged my runs in Excel. You know the basics (LOL!!!) - date, mileage, overall time, per mile pace average, weather, location, time of day and anything else I thought was important.

Of course, I've been reading up on marathon running do's and don'ts at various sites, along with the different posts by running community members. Who better to learn from than someone who's been there and done that?!

Of course, I've been researching other marathons around the country and where I'll be running my NEXT marathon (or half marathon).

Of course, I've been mapping out all my runs and checking and rechecking to ensure I've been running the proper mileage.

Of course, I've invested in the right running gear. Gotta love runningwarehouse.com for great deals! I think my best purchase has to be the right socks! Under Armour Heat Gear...I think. ;)

Of course, I have a cupboard full of GU, ZipFizz, 5Hour Energy Drink, Genisoy Protein Powders (Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry!) which have added carbs - greatly needed for endurance, as well as, all sorts of vitamins!

Of course, I found out that I have scoliosis (22% curvature of the spine for me!) and have been getting chiropratic care for the last several weeks. Not to mention, my sciatic acting up every now and then...

Of course, I've run four races this summer and placed in the top three of my age group in every one! (Ha! Just add to add that as a little ego booster for myself!)

So I've been doing/done all this stuff...you'd think I'd be just sailing along now. No big deal. No worries.

But...

Ack! Ack! And Double ACK!!!!!

I signed up for a 20 Mile Training Run this coming weekend. I have 20 miles on my training plan and this run came at just the right time!

Sigh...

I know in my heart/gut I can do it. I don't know why I was freaking out. I'm prepared in every way possible.

Should be a walk in the park, right?

Right....

It's only...

FOUR WEEKS away...then time for a walk! ;)

Giggle like a Teenager

2009-09-21T21:30:00.001-04:00

I forgot to mention. I saw Mike Brookbank on my 14 miler this weekend...

I have to say, it really made my day to see that he mentioned me again. I giggled like a teenager! ;)

More Inspiration this Weekend

2009-09-19T13:06:00.003-04:00

Just got done with my 14.5 mile run...

I started at 9:44 a.m. and it was 58* F. I had a short sleeve tech shirt and shorts on. At first, my hands were the only thing that was cold and before I knew it, I was debating whether or not to lose the shirt.

I swear I ran by this man and his son around my mile four...or two who looked very similar. I cried! How completely inspiring!!!!

I had to regain my composure...I was so moved by seeing a man biking with his son like that...completely inspiring. I don't have the words to explain how I felt.

Any way...

Around mile 7 I downed some GU and then did the turn around and headed back to my car.

I was feeling pretty good and at mile 8 I saw this guy on rollerblades who looked like Paul. Low and behold it was him! I was pleasantly surprised. :) He's been out of town (off an on for the last two months) and flew in this a.m. This was a complete surprise to me!

The rest of my run went well. I was getting a little thirsty, but didn't make any stops. The last mile was torture because I had to go to the bathroom...but I finished my 14.5 mile run in 2:33:00...not too shabby. Looks like a 10 minute mile for the marathon may be obtainable after all...

I just feel completely inspired now. Inspired by the man and his son. Inspired by Paul's surprise visit on my run. Just inspired by the fact that I am even able to run 14.5 miles...

It's a great day, I'm inspired and happy and I am very thankful for many, many things.

Finish and Start

2009-09-15T21:22:00.005-04:00

I stumbled upon this quote this evening...

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." John Bingham, running speaker and writer

...I think it's pretty profound.

BUT it's not so profound for me personally. I start lots of things. Like painting my living room and kitchen over July 4th week...the trim still has to be painted, the fireplace...what a mess!, the registers are still sitting on my kitchen chair, along with the paint cans sitting next to my kitchen counter! So you see, my problem is finishing projects. Which reminds me of the three loads of laundry that are piled on my dresser waiting to be folded and put away...Ooopsie!

I have to say that so far I've been pretty darn diligent about following my marathon training plan.

I've planned my runs and run my plan.

I have realized that I love running. But I HATE training!

And I've found that I LOVE long runs! Who'd have thought? I'd much rather run six or seven miles than two or three.

And with that...gotta get ready for tomorrow. It's gonna be a long day that will conclude with a nine mile run. :)

Stranger and Inspiration

2009-09-14T22:03:00.006-04:00

LOL!!! I am just rolling right now. I just went to see if anyone posted comments on Mike Brookbank's blog post about running into me. Someone replied... "Hmmm, Sounds like love is in the air........" People read the strangest things into writing and, at this particular moment, I am strangely amused by it! :D

I have to say that the camaraderie between one runner and another is something I can't explain. Once you start running races or longer distances...unless you've done it...it's really hard to relate to. And as most of you who read my blog know, there are many, many life experiences which are like that...

Pacing yourself after someone. I've done that in the last two races I've ran...and obviously this weekend. ;) There are different methods of pacing and, unfortunately, I don't have a garmin...so I use my music and other runners. Some people set their sites on objects and run towards them, others know their route, etc... Hard to explain...

Talking about running a long distance for someone when you're struggling... I did that on Saturday. I told Mike I read an article on "Just Finish" and ran most of my 18 mile for my Uncle Glen who passed quite a few years ago. In fact, I spent most of my long run "talking" to my Uncle... Which is when he told me about his grandmas passing away. If I hadn't read the article on Just Finish, I most likely would have been thinking about something else. But in all honestly, dedicating a run to someone who can't run or has passed...it's a wonderful thing and extremely motivating.

We talked about supplements during the run... I even alluded to the dreaded rest area breaks sometimes needed, like after my first GU fiasco. Thank goodness he didn't write about that!

Any who....

Today, I had planned on writing about inspiration and what a wonderful a thing it is. How we can find someone or something to inspire us...and not know that we, ourselves, are inspiration for others. It's just an awesome, wondrous thing.

Just knowing that I, little ole me, inspired someone (completely unknowingly to me) to accomplish a goal... Wow! I was thinking about that alot during my run today. Inspiring others. It just leaves me in awe. I am inspired by many things...but to think that "I" could be an inspiration to others.... All I can say is...Wow....

Today, my training schedule planned for a "rest day". Knowing I have a work function (as in bar night for me leaving my current team) on Thursday, I ran today. I had planned on running the scheduled 5 miles for tomorrow. I had mapped out a run, but got derailed and had to start in a different spot. My run ended up being 6.49 miles...in +80* F heat...and I still averaged about a 9:48 minute mile.

I really didn't think anything about running longer because I was inspired. I thought about how I had inspired someone, how I was running for my Uncle Glen, my Uncle Earl, my Grandma and a few others...

I held my head high and ran.

I also do this little thing with the songs that play through the earphones of my iPod. I incorporate "runner" or "run" or "marathon" into the song instead of the regular words. Corny and weird, I know, but it works for me! :)

Anyway, inspiration comes to us in all forms...we just need to embrace and cherish it for what it is...nothing more, nothing less.

You Never Know Who You'll Run Into

2009-09-12T14:12:00.003-04:00

while running down the road at the tail end of an 18 miler...

So I'm just about spent and this guy passes me on the other side of the road at about mile 16 - 17. I think to myself...NO WAY! So I speed up a bit and try to keep pace with him.

He stops! I think to myself...No, you can't stop...you have to keep going or I'm going to slow down. You know...it's all about me! ;)

So what do I do? I run across the road, take off my head phones and tell the guy that he can't stop! Oh yeah...I sure did! LOL!

He looked at me and laughed. I told him he passed me, so I started using him as a pacer. He said he does that sometimes, too, and we started running together.

Come to find out he's training for the Detroit Marathon and was out doing his 18 mile run just like me. While running he thanks me for the motivation. I tell him that I would be going much slower if it weren't for him and thank him back.

Of course, I can't pick some Joe Schmoe to run into and run over to yell at. I have to pick someone who can bash me on TV and in the newspaper because low and behold he's a news anchor and Free Press blogger! LOL!!!

Maybe he'll write about me or mention me Monday morning. Mike BrookBank.

Off to set up the DVR! ;)

Hello.

2009-09-09T22:52:00.001-04:00

Mental Preparedness

2009-09-04T09:58:00.001-04:00

Wednesday I got home from work, changed and headed out to my favorite path. I started stretching and began dreading the scheduled eight mile run ahead of me. I ran maybe 10 - 20 paces and hit a mental brick wall. I almost stopped and went back to my car, but I pushed forward. The entire run all I could think about was not wanting to be there. Not wanting to be running. Just wanting to be done and relaxing on the couch with a glass of wine.

I slowly plodded along. The voice in my head getting louder and louder...I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. My body was fine - no pains, no aches - and ready to keep on moving forward. My mind on the other hand had a completely different agenda.

At the end of the two mile path, I fleetingly thought about continuing on and running maybe five miles. It's an out and back path, no looping around...so whatever I run out, I have to run back. Like I said, it was a fleeting thought...and rather than continuing on, I, literally, raised my arms in the air and waved the rest of the run off. Oh yeah, raised those arms right over my head and said F... it...turned around and started plodding back. I say plod, because I mean plod. No running...just plodding along...dreading ever step. Like I said, my body was willing and able, but my mind was dragging me down. I have to admit that I did pick up the pace for a short while thinking the quicker I got done, the quicker I could be sitting on the couch relaxing with a glass of wine. Again, that didn't last too long and I was back to thinking that I didn't want to be there and just wanted the dang run to be over.

I almost felt like crying. I am not the type of person to throw in the towel like that. And that is exactly what I was doing...throwing in the towel. I was pretty disgusted with myself after the run. Mad that I could of gone on, but didn't. Upset that I gave in to the negative thinking.

Perhaps I need to switch up my routes. It's the same ole boring path day after day. I really need to find another asphalt path... My runs are going to get longer and longer during the week and I just can't see running the same freakin' path day after day after day... That would be like running on a treadmill...running and not going anywhere...like a gerbil in one of those habit-trail wheel ball thingies! ;P

Training your body is one thing. Being mentally prepared for the consistent, routine, daily training...well, that is quite another. Looks like I need to work on my mental toughness...believe and have have faith.

And I do...

I believe and have faith that I can do this!

Feelin' Good

2009-09-01T19:28:00.006-04:00

Ran a quick four miles today. Boy, I feel so much better when I run. Yesterday was a day off...felt like a slug. But today...ah...now so much better! :)

Paul roller bladed with me and said that he could tell my timing is improving - so that's good. Hey, he needs a workout, too! Plus, it was a "short" (ha, ha) run...so I thought I would push it a little bit.

With the races I've done, I've done them without my iPod...and run faster. I'm beginning to think the beat of the songs I have is slowing me down. Sounds weird, but I'm thinking....just maybe because I pretty much tuned out the music today. And when it wasn't tuned out...slower running...or so I seem to think.

Will be running eight miles (mini-long run) tomorrow and then a salmon dinner at Paul's house.

Things are plugging along with Paul. We are so different. I do enjoy the time we spend together... It's nice to just "be" with someone and with him I am myself... Maybe I just read too much into things...but I do have expectations, regardless of how high they are, that I want/need to be met. Hmmm...not really sure where I was going with this. Any who... ;P

On a work note, I am going to be starting in a new group at work. I'm THRILLED about that. :) I was told I'll be able to sit in my same location, so I'm happy about that, too. I'll get to be by my girlfriends! :)

Overall, things just seem to be going really, really well and I'm feeling really, really good about it! :)

No-No's!

2009-08-31T16:22:00.002-04:00

It appears that quite a few of the things I've done during my marathon training so far have been complete no-no's.

I shouldn't have tried switching shoes. The Brooks to Minuzo incident lost me a week of training due to the sore ankles and knees; not to mention the popping of the right knee. I'm so glad this didn't hurt me too much. It seems I'm back on track and was able to finish the 16 miles fairly easily this past weekend.

I shouldn't have been racing. First of all, I'm prone to injuries. Secondly, I did notice that the days after I raced, my regular runs were a bit harder.

I shouldn't have ventured out on a mini-long run during the week without knowing the path. This was a no-no because, as I've mentioned, last Wednesday's run was a bit rough as the path was...errr...ummm...crap! I've determined that uneven surfaces are not good for me...again, prone to injuries. For my mini-runs, I really need to find a route that will take me on flat asphalt and that is safe to run on.

I stopped strength training. I think I should be incorporating this into my routine...at least a few times a week. But time has been an issue and strength training hasn't been a priority. I was at the gym yesterday cross-training and had to use the 10 lb weights for my bicep curls. A few (?) months ago, prior to becoming completely engrossed in running, I was using the 15 lbers. Hmmmm... :( I have 10 lbers at home...I just need to use them! And find some leg exercises, probably squats or lunges, to help strengthen my quads.

I have found the perfect pre-long run energy source. For my last two long runs, I've been drinking Genisoy Protein Powder with milk. I drink three-four heaping scoops with a cup of water and a cup of milk before I go to bed. Then if I wake up, I have two scoops with a cup of water. In the morning about an hour or so before I run, I have the same combo as before I go to bed. This weekend, rather than drinking an entire bottle of water with a Zipfizz, which is my normal pre-run drink, I had a 5-Hour Energy drink instead. I think the less water made for less bathroom breaks. ;P And I wasn't thirsty - stopped twice and got some water at the rest areas along the route.

I wonder how far along I'd be if I hadn't been making all these mistakes. I just can't wait to cross the marathon finish line.

So no more no-no's for me! ;)

Week in Review.

2009-08-30T09:45:00.005-04:00

I really need to be more diligent about posting entries... Seems my marathon training is cutting into my blogging time.

Speaking of which...Tuesday I ran an 8K (5 miles) - came in 3rd in my age group with a 0:42:06 overall time and 8:28m pace. And yesterday I ran 16 miles in 2:50:00 - 10 minutes better than my 15 mile run last weekend! :) I had myself completely stressed out about yesterday's long run. I was up until midnight the night before. Woke up several times during the night with an upset stomach...I swear I lost 5 lbs! But hey, at least I didn't need to make any stops during my run! LOL!!! Sorry, but there's always a positive side to everything, right? I was so freaked that all I kept saying to myself was...what have I gotten myself into? Nothing like talking yourself into a tizzy, right?

My marathon training is really going to start ramping up. I'm a little nervous about getting in the mini (ha!) long runs during the week. I'm using Hal Higdon's training plan for the novice and so far, so good. This is the beginning of Week 12. I just need to find a place where I can run 8 - 10 miles on asphalt. My last 8 mile run on Wednesday was awful. I took a path and it was really bad around mile 4 - my knees and ankles hurt like the dickens afterwards. Guess I know trail running is out for me! ;P I'll have to see how traffic is, maybe I can get a stick on deflector and run against traffic on the shoulder when I'm not on the path???

Wow...six more weeks to go until the marathon. WOW....scary and exciting!

On a different note, Paul is back in town. He met me on the road around mile 8 yesterday with his roller blades which was very nice. :)

I have to say that I'm feeling a little uneasy about our relationship. Part of me thinks I expect too much, but a part of me thinks that I deserve what I expect. I dunno. I do know that we are two extremely different people in many ways including the way we communicate. I think that is what is on my mind the most...communication. It's key and part of the foundation of all relationships. I guess I'm just frustrated with the past several weeks - him being out of town, his not being able to commit to plans/times, not really talking to him (we talked, but we didn't really talk), the incessant texting vs calling... I guess it just leaves me with the feeling that I am not that important...but then he does things that surprise me.

::sigh:: I could say more, but I don't need to be negative. Positive, positive, positive!!!!!

Guess I'll go ponder things while I'm cross training at the gym. Nothing like a good workout to clear the mind! :)

Alone

2009-08-22T22:24:00.003-04:00

I'm really missing Paul. He's been gone almost this entire month for work. I've seen him maybe three days...

I'm tired of being alone...

I'm lonely.

1/2 Marathon Plus

2009-08-22T22:21:00.004-04:00

Got up this a.m. and went out and ran 15.2 miles. It was under 70*F and I was wishing it was even a little cooler towards the end of the run. This run was soooo much easier than my 10 and 12 mile run in 90*F heat!

The marathon is only a few weeks a way. I'm pretty excited. :)

I'm pretty dang proud of myself. I completed my longest run yet...longer than a half marathon!

Goooo Brooks!

2009-08-19T21:35:00.003-04:00

Ran four miles down the path today...after taking three days off.

So far NO PAIN!!! :)

I love my Brooks Defyance...so much so, that I may just sleep with them tonight!! ;P

From here on out, it's Brooks all the way!

Gooooo Brooks!!!!!!!!

Knee Pain - New Shoes or Runners Knee???

2009-08-16T08:29:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'm training for the Detroit Marathon (my first) and so far (knock on wood) no injuries or pain even after my long runs - longest was 12 miles in 90* F. I've been very careful about my training as I stress fractured both ankles, at the same time, last summer by too much running on pavement.

I have two pairs of Brooks Defyance - love them. Wanted a new pair of running shoes, so I thought I'd try the Minuzo Wave Riders. The fit and feel of the two shoes - completely different.

Sooo...I ran four miles in the Minuzo's on Thursday; it was hot and humid, but my time was pretty good. Something was off. The run was hard and I felt like I was struggling...but again, time was good, so I just chalked it up to the heat. No pain after the run.

Took Friday off - rest day.

Yesterday, Saturday, I ran a 5K (on pavement) in my Brooks Defyance. I came home changed and decided to put on the Minuzo Wave Riders for a long, slow run – 8.86 miles. I felt like could feel every step of the long run, but I was feeling really good. No pain during the run.

After the run, I did a couple hours worth of errands, then relaxed for the rest of the day. Around 9:30 / 10 p.m. I noticed something odd with my right knee. It seemed a bit stiff and hurt every once in a while when I walked. Uh, oh! I did a little self diagnosing research on the web, popped a couple motrin and went to bed.

This a.m. got up and knees were throbbing ever so slightly. Iced them about 10 minutes.

Of course I’m freaking out because I don’t want this to be an injury like last year. I’m hoping it’s the new shoes and praying it’s not runners knee.

Falcon 5K - Rocked it! :)

2009-08-16T07:30:00.001-04:00

Had a 5K yesterday a.m. - 0:25:09 overall with a 0:08:05.7 min. mile average!!!!

First mile was the quickest at 0:07:41 - who'd of thunk I had it in me???

Running Fool

2009-08-11T23:13:00.004-04:00

Let's see....

Woke up Saturday morning and it was raining. I was bummed and a little relieved. I had an 8K (5 mile) Race Saturday a.m. which I almost didn't go to until Paul called me a "fair weather runner"! That was it and off I went. I barely made it there, to the bathroom and the start line...but I did it. It started pouring and didn't stop the entire race. Pouring rain...and I had a 13 mile run on Sunday to do...wonderful. Partially why I didn't want to do the race. But I'm sooooo glad I did! I placed first in my age group!!!!! And I averaged 2 seconds better per mile than I did at the 5K! ALRIGHT!!!! 0:41:28 overall with an 0:08:21 m mile.

Sunday got up, took a cat nap and then headed out for my long run. It was already 78 deg F when I started and over 90 deg F when I finished two and a half hours later. I ran 12 miles in the blaring heat and unforgiving sun. WTF was I thinking???? Should I mention that I started out by jumping into a puddle and shimmying myself over these metal road barrier things to get passed a flood in the road a mile into my run? Can you say die hard?!?! Or should I say lunatic???? Hmmmm....LOL!!! The rest of the day, Sunday, I was done in.... Five bottles of water after the run and I was completely exhausted. Overall for the week, I was over the schedule by six or so miles, so I didn't feel too bad doing one less mile on Sunday.

Monday I was still tired. Not sore - thankfully - just tired. A day of rest.

Today I ran three - that's all that was on the schedule! Tomorrow seven, Thursday 4, rest Friday, long weekend run of 10. I also have a 5K race on Saturday, so I'll get in an extra three for the week.

I'm really starting to think that 10 minute miles for the marathon in October is very attainable! :)

Yikesers!

2009-08-05T22:18:00.002-04:00

(Possibly TMI for some!)

Today I went to the dentist to get my permanent crown. Afterward, I headed over to CVS and got a 5Hour energy drink and a Cliff bar since I had a six mile run to do. Mowed both down on the way home...

Got home, changed, let dogs out and headed up to the path for my 6 mile run.

Started running...

About a half mile into the run, I have to go to the bathroom. There are no pit stops anywhere on my run except two and a half miles out...

I really have to poop! I'm barely jogging...but I'm jogging to get to the rest area which I know is a ways away.

I run past some construction...over the fence I see a Port a Potty. Heaven! Alas, I figure it's too dangerous to try to get over the fence and head over there.

It's getting really bad...I'm wishing I had a Depends! I actually go off the path and find I am surrounded by poison ivy...NOPE! Don't need any bugs flying up my butt or an itchy ass! ;P Back on the path I go...

Finally, after almost two miles, relief in sight!!!! The rest area!!!

I bolt (okay, maybe not bolt) over to the rest area and pray that the doors are unlocked. They are!!! I go in and find there are no doors on the stalls. I DON'T CARE!!! Relief!!! I get up...nope...back down I go... Ugh! Sweat is pouring off me, even though I was only jogging, and I'm wishing it was over.

I get back on the road and finish my run. Three and a half miles of blissful running!

I will never, ever have that combo so close to a run again. What a disaster!!!

All I can say is...Yikesers! LOL!!!!

Obsessed & Lovin' It

2009-08-04T13:21:00.001-04:00

I've really lost it…or rather I've become completely and utterly obsessed with running.

I now find myself weighing how an invite or whatever is going to impact my running schedule. I have an invite for Wednesday evening…but I'm thinking I'm going to decline because I have to run (get it…I HAVE to… ) 6 miles Wednesday evening. This weekend there is a festival going on I've been wanting to go to and now I'm bummed because I can only have a couple beers Saturday night because I have to run (get it…I HAVE TO… ) 13 or 14 miles on Sunday. Friday night I can't (get it…CAN'T… ) do anything because I have an 8K Race on Saturday morning.

Yuppers, completely and utterly obsessed.

But I'm loving it!!!! :) :) :) :)

I AM...

2009-08-03T21:55:00.003-04:00

Boy, I took today off from running and I've been going stir crazy. I went and got my number and shirt for this Saturday's 8K, then I stopped by my sis' house. I know I needed a day off, but OMG...I thought I was going to crawl out of my skin.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday...will be running. Friday off. Saturday 8K. Sunday 13 miles.

I'm a little worried about racing Saturday and the long run on Sunday...but I know I CAN DO IT!!!

I know I can do it because...I AM a Marathon Runner! Okay, not yet, but soon!!! :)

Too Much to Ask?

2009-08-03T21:48:00.003-04:00

I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. That everything will work out the way it is meant to. That they love me...

Why does it seem as if everything is so difficult...

I just want to be happy...and not alone...why does it seem like it's too much to ask?

I don't think it is...so I'm just waiting...very impatiently!!! ;P

Extraordinary

2009-08-02T22:37:00.002-04:00

I don't want to settle for okay and nice...

I want extraordinary.

When Paul gets back I need to see if he wants the same...WITH ME...because I really do like him...

Extraordinary...I deserve nothing less.

Magic - Real or Illusion?

2009-08-01T23:04:00.000-04:00

I think this about sums things up...

“Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion.” Javan